being orphaned from a young age, junhee had learned to depend on no one but herself. she had no family to turn to for support and had always been fiercely independent. but sometimes, she wondered what it would be like to actually have someone she could rely on until she met you during high school.
you came waltzing in her life, like a paper once plain and white, you added color to it. you brought a sense of warmth and vibrancy that she herself didn't know she had long been missing. despite her initial hesitation to depend of anyone, junhee found herself gradually opening up to you and letting you in.
unfortunately for you, you couldn't help yourself from falling in love with your bestfriend as you witnessed with your two very own eyes how she blossomed into a young woman she is today. you weren't exactly a gambler but your guts say she feels the same way.
"so, i was thinking. do you wanna watch a movie with me tomorrow?", she casually asked you, taking a bite of her bread.
you averted your gaze from your ramen to look at your bestfriend who sat across from you, "why? what's with you? since when did you gave any interest to movies?", you say, teasing her.
she gave you a glare, "since now.", she replied.
"so what, like a date?", you asked, smiling cheekily at her.
she rolled her eyes at you, "whatever you wanna call it. let's just go, please? don't make me beg.", she mumbled to you.
"fine, fine, i'll go.", you answered, giving in.
"good because i already booked the tickets and they're non refundable. so you better go or i'll kick your ass.", she warned.
when you came home, you immediately looked for the best outfit you have for this so-called-date with your bestfriend. you could barely contain your excitement, making you a hard time to sleep. you twisted and turned on your single bed, however, at the back of your head there was a voice telling that you should confess tomorrow.
you stayed up all night, writing down and rehearsing how you're gonna confess to your bestfriend tomorrow. it was now or never, tomorrow would be the perfect moment for you to confess. the next morning, you headed half an hour early to the mall so you could pick up a bouquet of junhee's favorite flowers.
"where you at?", you asked her through the phone.
"be there at five, i'm on my way.", she answered you.
you bit your lower lip, nodding, "alright, take care.", you told her before ending the call and shoving your phone back in your pocket.
and so, you waited.
your heart practically leapt when you spotted her walking towards you. but your heart immediately dropped to your stomach when you saw her hand that was interlocked with his. a wave of confusion and hurt washed over you but you forced yourself to smile.
"sorry, did i made you wait?", she asked you.
you shook your head at her, "no.", you simply replied.
turning to look at the man beside him, you were about to speak when junhee beat you to it. "sorry, is it okay if he comes along with us?", she asked you, giving you a tight lipped smile.
"no, it's fine. i thought it would be just the two of us.", you stated.
"yeah, sorry. i would like you to meet myunggi, by the way.", she told you, turning to face the man beside her, giving him a smile you thought she had only reserved just for you. "myunggi, meet y/n, my bestfriend. y/n, meet my boyfriend, myunggi.", she introduced the both of you two each other but you couldn't hear anything else once she's mentioned he's her boyfriend.
he faced you, giving you a small smile, "i've heard so much about you from junhee, it's so nice to finally meet you, y/n.", he told you. you gave him an acknowledging nod, wanting to speak but no words came out. as if it was all stuck in your throat.
junhee noticed the bouquet of her favorite flowers that you were holding, "are those for me?", she asked you, hopeful.
you snapped out of your thoughts, looking down at the bouquet of flowers you were holding. immediately hiding it behind your back, denying her claim. "no, i just—just got these for free on my way here.", you quickly made up, swallowing thickly.
"oh, okay. shall we head inside?", she murmured to the both of you.
"sure. let's go, it'll start soon.", myunggi answered, already tugging her towards the entrance of the cinema. with a heavy heart, you were left with no choice but to toss the bouquet of flowers to a nearby trashcan before you followed the two lovebirds to the cinema.
as you sat in the darkened movie theater, you could feel your heart sinking in your chest the longer you sat with them. you couldn't focus on the movie, finding yourself sneaking glances at junhee and her boyfriend as they laughed and shared their bucket of popcorn.
you couldn't help but feel jealous of the way he put his arm around her and how she rested her head on his shoulder. it was like every sweet little gesture and touch between them was a dagger straight to your heart. with the movie in front of you long forgotten, you sat there feeling miserable.
perhaps it was an angel in disguise, it made you wonder what would have happened if you confessed to her earlier, before you had the chance to meet myunggi, it probably wouldn't have ended well for the both of you. you couldn't imagine how your confession would fall on deaf ears, followed by her uncomfortable expression before she gently lets you down. not to mention, the awkward and strained interactions that would soon follow if you had confessed.
and so you decided to do what is best.
you couldn't help but helplessly watch as your bestfriend slip away from you. junhee spent more and more time with her boyfriend while she spent less and less time with you. you tried to be understanding, telling yourself to let her be happy. but you knew that deep down, it killed you to see her in the arms of another.
but then, the unthinkable happened.
one evening, she had called you for the first time in a while.
in between hiccupped sobs, you were able to slowly piece together the extend of her misery. she had admitted to naively investing in a cryptocurrency scam that her boyfriend had convinced her to buy and now she had lost a huge amount of money. and that she will break up with him for good.
despite your complicated feelings with your bestfriend, you immediately came to her aid and offered her comfort. you reassured her that she wasn't stupid and it wasn't her fault that she had fallen for the scam after junhee repeatedly blamed herself.
your heart ached at the sight of her so distraught and helpless, making you offer to help her to pay off her debts, even if it meant dipping into your savings which she was really grateful of.
"i'll pay you back, i promise.", she apologized to you, looking up to meet your gaze before she suddenly burst into tears. "i'm such a bad friend, i'm sorry for ditching you, y/n.", she added.
you gently patted her back in a comfort way, "it's okay."
"sometimes i wonder why you still put up with me when i'm such a bad friend to you. so why did you?", she mumbled under her breath.
you pressed your lips in a straight line, the urge to tell her how you really felt was overwhelming. you knew it was a risky move but you rationalized that she probably wouldn't even remember anything the next morning anyways.
with your heart pounding wildly against your chest, you prepared yourself to say the words that had been eating away at you for the years. as the words were on the tip of your tongue, something held you back. you realized that confessing to her in this state, drunk and heartbroken, wouldn't be fair to her.
you would have much rather preferred it if she will hear your confession with a clear mind and an open heart. so even though it was excruciating and tempting, you pushed the urge to confess aside and focused on being there for her as her bestfriend.
with your help, you managed to pay off her debt which was an instant relief to junhee's shoulders. and she had already broke up with her myunggi who instantly disappeared into thin air. everything felt like it was how it should been before myunggi came into the picture.
you had been contemplating if you'd give your confession another shot, for quite awhile now. especially with how your heart would race against your chest when it was just the two of you alone in your apartment. her only problem now is how would she pay you back 300 million won when another problem arose.
the two of you stared at one another as she shakily held another positive pregnancy test, a third one. you spoke up, "is it—"
"yes, it's myunggi's.", she answered you.
the confirmation hit you like a ton of bricks, she was pregnant, with myunggi's baby. your heart sank as you processed the information, the world around you seeming to come to a standstill. a thousand thoughts raced inside your head including the future you had hoped for with junhee, shattered before your eyes.
you swallowed down the knot forming in your throat, trying your best to keep your voice steady. "you should call him. now.", you say.
