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Terrible Fic Idea #61: The Old Guard, but make it Stargate

One of the very few things I dislike about the 2020 TOG movie is how little forethought the escape from Merrick's headquarters appears to show. We see dozens of samples taken... and as far as I can tell, all those samples and the doctor who took them survived the firefight. And if her results were being pushed to the cloud? That's one big problem left unresolved. Not to mention a firefight in the middle of London's business district - inside a business that does dealings with the US military at that - is bound to be thoroughly investigated regardless of the strings Copley pulls to cover it up.

All of which came together in my head to ask: What if, six months post-Merrick, The Old Guard gets picked up by Stargate Command?

aka the All Our Lives fic

Just imagine it:

One of the things I love best the Stargate universe is that it takes place so very definitively in the 90s. It's settled in its time period, not some hopeful, impossible future. But for that sake of this AU let's push everything forward 20 years make it so the events of SG1 S4's "The Curse" happen in the same week as the escape from Merrick.

From the outside looking in, there's a lot about the Old Guards' flavor of immortality that looks like having a goa'uld symbiote. This means when the SGC goes looking for other possible goa'uld on Earth after Osiris' escape, they think they find five in the shape of the immortals, with Nile possibly being the latest host for the symbiote that Quỳnh once carried.

The more the SGC looks, however, the less clear it becomes. Daniel is able to recreate most of Copley's research and then some, stretching as far back as written records will allow. Their next thought is tok'ra, but those haven't been around long enough to account for Andy. Maybe she's the queen of a similar group that's been stuck on Earth for a long time and the others are her surviving offspring? There are records of a god matching her description on the Western Steppes in ages past...

With that assumption in mind, six months post-Merrick SG-1 is sent to make contact with the guard, hoping to gain more allies against Apophis.

The meeting itself is both extremely tense and a comedy of errors. Both groups are on completely different pages as to why they're meeting and what's at stake, and it very nearly ends in a firefight before Daniel goes into an impassioned speech (at gunpoint) as to why the guard should help humanity fight the goa'uld... to which Andy goes what the fuck are you talking about?

Once every gets on the same page and assurances are made that there will be no human experimentation whatsoever, the guard end up joining the SGC as independent contractors. Officially they are SG-21, assigned to search and rescue/covert ops, but mostly they continue to fight for what we think is right, just on a galactic scale. They nominally check in every few weeks, but are largely left to their own devices. This makes the rare occasions any of them are in the Mountain memorable.

A selection of those memorable visits include: 1) Daniel being hogtied, left in a closet, and not found for 15 hours after asking Andy one too many questions about ancient cultures; 2) Sam stumbling upon Joe and Nicky having a deep conversation in a patois of languages in the middle of the cafeteria about how much the Earth and their place in it has changed in their lifetimes, from Jerusalem being the center of ancient world maps to an ever expanding galaxy inhabited by people just like them. It should take vaguely the same tone as Sagan's Cosmos before being completely derailed by one of them asking so, do you think endlessly asphyxiating in the vacuum of space is better or worse than endlessly drowning at the bottom of the ocean? This too should be discussed at macabre length, possibly going into their personal ten worst ways to die lists - but in mostly English, throughly disturbing their fellow diners; and 3) Nile encountering someone she once knew in the Marines for the first time during the events of "Heroes" and having to do the say, I can get killed but don't stay dead speech for the first time herself after dying midway through the mission and coming back to save the day.

Once again, that's all I really have - just lots of scenes of the characters of both fandoms interacting but very little change to the plot lines of either.

Bonuses include: 1) The guard initially being offered commissions in the US Marines for their work at the SGC. These are turned down for a variety of reasons, the last one jokingly being that Joe and Nicky have never gone longer than a week without saying something unbearably romantic to each other and it'll save them the trouble of having to immediately cashier them both out. Extra bonus points if this leads Nicky on overwatch to send a warning shot past the speaker's ear before anyone can bring up the DADT repeal. 2) Booker having been grounded rather than exiled. This should be paired with Nile occasionally slipping into an exasperated yes, Mom whenever Joe and Nicky get overprotective, leading to much confusion as to the guards' family dynamics when they first join the SGC. Some Marines convinced for years that the immortals are, in fact, like the tok'ra and that one of the men is the host for their queen; and 3) The base quartermaster having absolutely no fear of any of them and publicly chewing them out on multiple occasions for the sheer amount of clothes they go through.

Honestly, I have tons of little scenes of this crossover in my head and no coherent storyline to it all, so it may end up as a drabble collection if the bunny stays around long enough. Otherwise, feel free to adopt this bun. As always, link back if you do anything with it.

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