#stellaris

[dragon-in-a-fez]

Stellaris wiki talking like my brain when I forget my meds 2 days in a row

[shamebats]

[alcormagnus]

Every grand strategy game has the Intensive Agriculture tech that gives +10% food production. Like, you thought agriculture was intense before? You won't BELIEVE what we do to plants now. It'll rock your shit.

[estrogenandspite]

Me in real life: All human rights must be protected at all costs. Any erosion of the rights of people anywhere should be treated as an attack on yours.

Me in strategy games: Okay lemme grab the Geneva Checklist

[sistersorrow]

Things like Sims eugenics and creating ghettos in Animal Crossing will always be more horrifying than 90% of the attrocities committed in games like Rimworld and Stellaris for the simple reason that they were never intended by the developers

Games like Rimworld and Stellaris have dedicated mechanics created to facilitate crimes against sapient life, but the developers of the Sims never expected that people would start selective breeding programs and lock their ugliest children in the basement art sweatshop

War Crime Simulators give you the horrors, but with these games, you had to look at the tools given to you and construct the horrors yourself

[rose-pendragon]

So while reading wellness check (one of the best fics I've ever read, period) I came across something that sounded very familiar

Hey! This almost sounds like my favorite 4X Grand Strategy game, Stellaris! I wonder if somebody-

*INCOHERENT SCREAMING*

[agonizedspacetrooper]

I’m actually going to go (for lack of a better term) fucking feral

THIS KEEPS HAPPENING EVER SINCE THAT ONE DICKHEAD SPY WENT TO A PLANT ORGY. HOW MANY OF MY SPIES WILL YOU FUCK, AFFINI COMPACT!? HOW MANY SPIES IS ENOUGH!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Anyway, to any Terrans reading this, your government is officially requesting your input on the matter because we’re out of ideas on how to stop this trend:

Counter-Espionage Measures

Increase operative pay

Fund the ministry of evil’s new subliminal indoctrination program

Drugs in water supply

Forcefem all of our spies pre-deployment

Voting ended onMar 30

To any filthy weeds that are reading this on a hacked channel…

How do you guys keep doing this? What are you giving these people? Throw us a bone here please, the espionage battle is clearly going pretty poorly for us. I’m just curious at this point. Cause look, our military will not shut the fuck up about how much they hate the “xeno filth 🤓👆” to the point where it’s pissing even me off. So how did you guys get them so quick I just wanna know man.