An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
"So, are we gonna talk about it?"
It was the next day, and Robin hadn't mentioned anything the entire morning, not when Steve woke up beside her resolutely not mentioning the evening before, not when Eddie had failed to materialize at breakfast, not when they stopped off at Walmart to pick up picnic food and not any time during the drive to the roadside diner just outside Memphis city limits, where they had ordered a pot of coffee to share.
He groaned, his face buried in his hands.
Robin sat opposite him, sipping her coffee and watching him unravel.
“Like, I have to stop doing this right? It’s self-flagellation at this point. I’m literally setting myself up for disappointment every time.”
“It does seem a little weighted in his favor.”
“At least you’re both on the same page,” she offered. “You’re friends who have sex sometimes. Which still feels totally weird to me, but it seemed to be working. What changed?”
"I'm not sure we're even friends any more."
"He stopped calling a year ago."
"He did?" Robin didn't sound that surprised, like she'd already figured that out.
I dunno.” He shrugged. “It just can’t go on like this, right? At some point one of us is going to get hurt. I don’t want it to be him. I don’t want it to be me.”
“No.” He crossed his arms and leaned back into his seat, his body hunched over a little.
Robin sighed, “You know Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
“I don’t know if I am expecting different results."
“He was doomed to push the same rock up a mountain forever. When it reached the top, it returned to the bottom and he started again.”
“That’s not entirely fair.”
Steve thought about it, shrugged, ”Dunno. Am I Sisyphus? Or am I the rock?”
“I don’t think it’s that kind of analogy.”
“What kind of analogy is it then?”
“I don’t know Steve. What do you actually want from him? Maybe that would help you work it out.
Steve put his head in his hands, his elbows propped on the table and moaned. "I don't know! I want it to be less complicated. I want us to be in the same place at the same time for more than a few days. Maybe then we could work out what we are to each other."
Robin hummed in thought, "Maybe it's reached a natural conclusion. Unless some miracle happens, you're not gonna get what you want. So yeah, maybe you do stop doing it."
He rubbed his hands over his face, sat back heavily into the booth. "I don't want to stop," he sulked.
She leaned forward, "Steve?"
"I can't help you." She punctuated each word. "You have two options and you don't like either of them."
He sighed, "Guess I'm stuck being Syphilis then."
>> Read the rest of the fic on AO3 <<
(based on Lucy Dacus' Hot & Heavy)
