THE rhythmic glugging of tea in a pouring stream fills the lull in conversation. A visit such as this one was unexpected but welcome. Baizhu could not refrain from offering the man hospitality even if his stay was not intended to be long. After all, his showing up wasn’t anything ordinary; Yuan’s arrival was something of remark, given his prior disappearance.
❝ Now, I hope you don’t mind my show of hospitality... I know you’ve only meant to come drop off this item for Kratos, but I’d like to at least offer you something for your trouble. Coming from a ward over isn’t the most convenient of trips to make, much less in drizzle like this. ❞
Once the porcelain kettle is set aside, Baizhu folds his arms and leans against the counter, smiling in a manner of kindness.
❝ And I suppose something of a welcome is in order, isn’t it? ❞
@stormswake —— starter!
alright you got me. reapping yuan ka-fai from tales of symphonia, app is the fourth link on the sidebar or /app, and if he can go back to his misfit house (lord el-melloi ii's personal housing) i would appreciate it!!
Welcome to scenic Isola Radiale, Yuan!
You will be housed in EL-MELLOI II’S HOUSE OF ECCENTRICS.
You’ll retain everything you were given previously and the ability to keep kratos in check.
True to his word, Lloyd tracked down the half-elf in a matter of what seemed to be mere minutes; and before he could even give the older man a chance to react, the brunette had launched himself in his direction, opening his arms and securing them around his middle tight.
And Lloyd held on for what seemed to be dear-life; it was almost out of character for him to behave in such a way towards the other, even though.. they really had gotten closer over the years. Here especially. Their past no longer defined how Lloyd felt about him, and it had been that way for quite some time. In his opinion, a hug with this much force was long overdue. If not for Yuan’s Cruxis Crystal, Lloyd was certain he would have knocked him over outright, but..
He held on longer than the other man maybe expected, and he did so silently. With his face hidden in Yuan’s cloak, Lloyd stood still as his teeth sunk into his bottom lip; exhaling quietly before he finally let go enough to catch the other’s gaze.
And there was no excitable expression on his face, though relief was palpable there as he struggled to find the right words to say. He’d been wanting to do this ever since he came back from the Abyss, but he hadn’t been ready to; even if a lot of time had passed since then.. Lloyd wasn’t going to let a chance like this get away from them a second time, for Yuan to leave the island before he could say the things he’d been thinking about for months now.
Whatever was happening this October, he was having none of it. And his room in the basement was really showing that. It was...
Well, it looked like his apartment when nobody straightened it up, back home, and nobody came to clean it, and he definitely didn’t clean it. The video game he was playing wasn’t overly loud, but he was in his pajamas and had likely been in them for a few days.
His birthday had been quiet, which was fine, but he couldn’t help but note how empty the table was lately, and even noting that briefly had made him spiral out, slightly.
But, hey, loafing around had bored Zhuge Liang, who was graciously quiet about the whole thing.
At least, until:
“Have I descended to delirium so quickly?”
“And here I was thinking that I had more mental fortitude than that.”
|That mental fortitude is typically mine, although you don’t lack for intelligence.|
And it seemed we were back, but he looked up at Yuan Ka-Fai, with a knotted brow and what almost looked like a pout. “...You do look like you fell out of a tree. Or into one. Is this one of those months where we get to see illusions of our loved ones again?”
It’s been a while since he last talked with Yuan much outside of work. They left off on a good foot, but this doesn’t make for a great way to reconnect. He ducks a dark figure trying to snatch the Light out of his grip, and hits its knees hard.
“Hey, bud! You need to be fightin’ or hidin’. This is a bad time to be out!”
Raine sat down at her office desk warily examining the envelope that held her name on it. She had placed it there earlier after checking the mailbox. Taking a shower and getting into clean clothes after trekking through the forest all day was a more pressing matter. Then dinner, lesson plans, and a few chores stole her attention. After everyone else had returned to their rooms for the night she finally got around to investigating the letter.
She noted it didn’t have a return address. It was rare if ever that she got mail that wasn’t some sort of advertisement for a business or an announcement of activities at the University or other community hub. Most correspondence was much easier on the telephone or meeting in person, so whatever it was it must have been formal. She unfolded her reading glasses and turned on the lamp to begin reading.
Professor Raine Sage,
I've been told I'm better at expressing myself in written word than spoken, and I'm inclined to agree. Even so, I'm not looking forward to writing this; I haven't written a letter in some years, and our relationship is complicated enough in normal circumstances.
I'm writing several letters now as a contingency. In the event I should disappear from the island before I find the courage to say these things aloud, I've given instructions for them to be delivered. If you're reading this, then I am no longer in Spirale. I suppose it's possible that you're reading this letter while I'm still here, but as I've entrusted these letters to one of my dearest and most reliable friends, I won't bother entertaining the thought.
A part of me is grateful that I won't have to deal with the fallout when these letters are first opened. For that, and for everything, I am sorry. On the other hand, it's entirely possible that I will return tomorrow and have to face the immediate consequences. But there's no way to predict what will happen, and I'd rather have those difficult conversations than leave, potentially for good, without a word.
Out of all of Spirale's victims from our world, I chose to write to you because I trust you are the most capable of understanding my intentions.
In my wake, I've left a path of devastation almost as wide as Yggdrasill's. I can't excuse the things I have done, nor would I want to; to try would be an insult to every life sacrificed, and despite what you may think of me, I cannot accept such callousness.
And yet, I must try to convince myself that there is a way to atone - that I am not irredeemable. I must believe that I can make a difference. It's naive - childish, even - but if I consider my current actions as useless, what hope can I have to actually make a change?
If I can't undo the past, I will do what I can to better the future. That is what I believe. It has taken me six years since my arrival to put it into words, but I believe I have felt that way deep down for a long time.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to act on that belief in Spirale, at least for some time. And that brings me to the point of this letter: I want you to remind me of this.
When people leave and return, their memories are sometimes altered or erased. I believe it due to the nature of the differing timelines between the island and its targeted worlds, but that's all I can say. Ironically, I can't remember if I ever told you this. It's a very real possibility that, should I return at all, I will not remember any of the experiences here that have shaped me.
I can remember who I was when I first arrived. The thought of being like that again scares me.
That isn't to say I expect you to restore my memories, nor do I expect you to try. If I do return as the bitter, apathetic person I was before, I doubt you would be able to convince me anyway. I simply ask that you tell me what I have said here - that no matter how hopeless it must seem, I must try.
I won't burden you with any other messages, though you are free to tell the others what I've written here. I pray that we get the chance to meet again, even if it is while I am someone else.
Take care,
Yuan Ka-Fai
She had to reread the contents a few times before fully processing what was written. Even then she felt a rush of conflicting emotion that she couldn’t quite describe. He was really gone? Just like that?
She couldn’t understand him. He would write to her because he felt she was the most responsible one? He didn’t say that he trusted her personally, just that he trusted that she could understand his intentions. It made some sense, admittedly, rather than burdening one of the younger members of the group. Still, she couldn’t help but feel weighed down by this task that he had given her. To always have to be the mature voice, to be composed and weigh all perspectives, felt a bit unfair. Yet she had never been one to ever vocalize that she was being overwhelmed. Yuan and her weren’t close. Would this task not be better served to someone else? Was she just a last-case scenario, in case others had disappeared as well? Surely that must be all.
She had had little reason to keep checking her phone during these eclipses. Ever since Genis had arrived, she had little reason to keep obsessing over who had come and gone from this island. And while she felt a stinging loneliness when Colette and a melancholy when Six had disappeared, they had come back the same people. In her experience it seemed to happen more often than not. She knew from prior conversations with Yuan himself that it was possible for people to come here differently—Mithos had once been from four thousand years ago, and many of her companions such as Sheena had come from different times in their Journey.
Of course it was possible. But she didn’t want to think about it. If she allowed herself to, that bubble of optimism that she’d been trying to build would surely burst again-- as fragile as it already was. She wanted to enjoy her time here to just be herself. She wanted to have a home and not have to be a historical figure, a leader for her race. Despite setbacks she was happy here; at times more content than she had ever been in her entire life. But time and time again the reality of this place threatened to take that all away. How long would it be before someone she was closer with would be spirited away back to their home plane? What if they came back, but had no recollection of ever meeting her?
No. No. No. I’m so damn tired of starting over! That’s all my life has been! Hit a dead end, regroup, turn on my heel, and set off again. Pretend that it doesn’t hurt. Pretend that it is inevitable. Right when I’d been foolish enough to begin to feel comfortable in this city.
Yuan had done it again. What a frustratingly cowardly man. Even going so far as to say he’d be glad that he wasn’t there to deal with the fallout of the letters. He would speak with her briefly and leave her with some worrying information while having no answers for what to do with said information. No plan of action. Just a looming threat to be wary of. Raine could feel anger welling up as she ran her hand through her bangs. Her fist pounded the table, rattling the cup set next to her on a coaster.
Of course after four thousand years he had never had answers before, why should she expect it to be any different now? A man of inaction. Indifference. And yet he still insisted that he had changed. Waver had insisted that his past didn’t matter in this place, but she couldn’t agree. Experiences and memories formed who people were. Yuan had admitted to his mistakes but she hadn’t known him well enough to tell if he had really devoted himself to changing. Besides her, how many of her companions had he approached and expressed his desire to atone? To build that better future?
She still had so much to say to him. So much to ask him. She hadn’t had enough time. As infuriating as it was, Yuan had been incredibly helpful with acclimating herself to the city. He was a straightforward voice that helped dispel confusion. She wanted to understand him better, but to the professor it felt like he was always trying to hide from her and the rest. Complicated was right. She had respect for him. She hated his guts. They shared more commonalities as half-elves that she cared to admit. Raine could never forgive how he hardened his heart to overlook the damage he caused through negligence. How turning into an angel had tainted him and his view of mortals as expendable. She was conflicted. In another time and place, she could have even seen them as friends with their common interests. It was just too hard to divorce him from his past actions in her mind. Not completely.
Yet…she had to admit there was a heart there somewhere deep down. She’d seen it, briefly, on more than one occasion. The one time that Yuan had let a glimmer of his emotions show. That one argument they had at the club. He was desperate to make amends. He repeated that wish here in the letter. To acknowledge how much of a hand he had in perpetuating the cycle of violence and hatred in Aselia. Even if those things could not be forgiven, at least he was not running from them. That alone proved that he had changed.
She didn’t want to believe that it was too late for anyone.
She needed to have hope that people could change if they wanted to.
She refused to ever let go of that plea.
In her eyes he wasn’t irredeemable. However, she couldn’t shake the feeling that he was still too scared to actually face any of them. Meetings were always sporadic, and they had spent a fair share of their time working in the same place avoiding one another. She’d said it time and again…adults were troublesome creatures, stubborn and often stuck in their ways. Deeply complex and entangled in their own doubts and fears. Her included. She had to have compassion for that.
“You better believe that I will hold you to that, Yuan,” she whispered. Raine let the letter rest on her desk, pinching the bridge of her nose. Her eyes stung as if forcing back tears.
No, I refuse to be upset by this!
...though it was much too late.
The half-elf closed her eyes and took a deep breath, leaning back in her chair and staring at the ceiling. Her hands curled around the sides of the letter, causing the page to wrinkle. “To write me of all people a last message. What are you thinking? It sounds almost like a will.” She reached over to her phone to check the contact list and…sure enough, Yuan’s name had vanished.
“If you come back with all of your memories intact, you’ll truly be sorry.” She folded the letter back into its envelope and took her glasses off.
“Whatever happens next, don’t ever stop trying. You’ve gotten too far to give up now.” But she was merely talking to herself. Her words would no longer reach him. Hopefully someday in the future she would have the opportunity to say that to his face.
