#straightwtnv

[straightwtnv]

Straight wtnv takes place in desert bluffs

het-sert bluffs

-mod walter

[straightwtnv]

tamika flynn is either a special intellectual white boy who’s ~better~ and ~smarter~ than everyone else or she’s vilified and her character is just a violent riot-inciting little monster that’s probably a dig at antifa and/or blm

[straightwtnv]

Everyone still headcanons Carlos as trans, but he’s like Kalvin Garrah this time

i’m sure that would be a truly awful hetcanon if i knew who that was you’re talking about

-mod karl

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this is horrible i am sorry

Don't get me wrong, I love all the hetcanons where Carlos is a white girl with zero personality who Cecil ends up dating, but take this: They pull the classic "you're like a brother to me" trope, so after Carlos gets attacked at the bowling alley and they meet at Arby's, they do the weird manly shoulder-pat/handshake thing and say that. (:

[straightwtnv]

Khoshek is a dog. I can’t explain it but he’s a dog.

cecil is one of those dog people who think cats are The Literal Devil and will tell anyone who has a cat how horrible they are 

-mod jake

[straightwtnv]

Kevin is the ~unhinged~ gay villain a la moriarty from bbc sherlock. his only motivation is being ✨crazy✨ and he’s super creepy towards cecil

official diagnoses: just fucking crazy

[straightwtnv]

Hey! just a note, if any of the content of these straight blogs makes you uncomfortable, we try to tag everything with #hetcanons and #straightwtnv (#straight[insert podcast] for all of them, no spaces afaik), so you can go ahead and block those!

[straightwtnv]

i have a couple and theyre all the worst and disgusting:

carlos is the main character and not easily flustered or nerdy or awkward At All

or, counter to that, hes still autism coded but in a Bad Way (+hes a side character)

ik you have the "predatory gay cecil" but what if that exactly but he says a lot of weird things ab gay sex that are directly in conjunction w what straight people ask

also cecil is Not Jewish

strexcorp is Actually Good/the sheriffs secret police is Actually Good

dana is a Damsel in Distress™

nightvale turns out to all have been a dream (idk,, it just sounds het)

if carlos is a girl hes like,,,,,,,,,19

also seen as really annoying and the only thing cecil talks about is how hot he is

anyway take these,,,, i hope they fuck you up as much as this blogs fucked me up