we need to talk about mental health
i know i’m longer than a week behind everyone else, but i wanted to throw in my own little contribution for mental health awareness month...
everything’s been cancelled. one thing after the next. over fifteen major events in my life have been taken by this pandemic, and i’ve felt like i can’t be upset about that. i’ve felt guilty anytime i pitied myself because i kept seeing other people in the media that had it much worse than i did. because of that, i’ve mostly been the “mom” to everyone i know---refusing to cry, comforting them, etc. i never really thought about what was happening to me. i just continued on with my life and accepted my circumstances as my new normal, figuring there wasn’t much i could do about it. i thought i was coping really well...
until a few weeks ago. that week, i made a list of all the things that won’t be rescheduled or replaced, and i lost it. it finally hit me. i realized i wasn’t just missing out on a couple frivolities---i was missing out on significant life milestones that everyone else got when they were my age and in my place.
i’m usually the rock, and i don’t like to crumble in front of other people... but i cried. i cried really hard. out of sadness. out of anger. i cried. and i don’t usually do that (let alone admit it).
for a while, i fell into a hole of thinking why me? why now? how is this fair?
it isn’t. it really isn’t. to anyone.
i don’t really like being this vulnerable, but i wanted to share this because i want anyone who’s anything like me to realize their problems are valid. even if no one you love is unemployed, gravely ill, or otherwise, that doesn’t mean you have it easy! everyone has lost something or is struggling with something right now, and in times like this, problems that others might not see as a huge deal can be heartbreaking to you because you have no other problems in your life to focus on.
every single one of us has a right to be upset. by acknowledging your losses and allowing yourself to grieve for a bit, you are not disrespecting others’ losses---you’re just respecting your own. and everyone’s losses deserve to be respected... including yours. so don’t tell yourself they can’t matter to you!
on that note: please take care of yourselves (physically, mentally, and emotionally). stay safe, stay healthy, be kind, and reach out if you need anything. <3
also: @studyingwithmi has a great studyblr/mental health blog with useful advice and plenty of pick-me-ups if you’re having a bad day/week/general existence, so check her out!! :)
