If you are still taking asks for your 5 headcanons, could we get some Immortal AU with PepperMay + Stony please? 😀
I have also grown fond of these Chaotic Dumbasses. For reference, Peter was four in the original story here and he is now seven.
Maria learns about Pepper and Tony going to the human realm when, during the Spring Ball, Sarah had asked her where Tony was, because Steve wouldn’t tell her and they really needed to decide what season the wedding would be, because Maria was a Winter Fae, Howard had been from a Summer court, and the Rogers held Spring Court. “Wedding,” Maria repeats, trying not to show off how surprised she is. “What wedding? What do you mean Steven won’t tell you where he is?” “Uh,” Sarah says. “Steve tells me he left sweet peas and chrysanthemums on Tony’s porch, and that’s how we declare our intentions, so...” “What the fuck is a porch?!” Maria sputters. Sarah has never been more terrified in her life. Maria has always been cool, calm, and collected--any anger she felt was carefully hidden behind a smile until she could get revenge privately, because she considered public chastising ‘gauche.’ It’s a well-known fact that Maria is not to be trifled with, both in the Seelie and Unseelie courts. So she’s isn’t going to be the fucking idiot who lies to her. “It’s a human thing, I think?” “A human thing,” Maria repeats, voice devoid of emotion. Sarah does not cringe, but barely. “Yes. A human thing.” “ANTHONY EDWARD STARK,” Maria rages, releasing a surge of magic, and every fae at court makes the conscious decision to forget they heard his full name, because if there was one thing more dangerous than a Queen of Court’s ire, it was knowing her child’s name. Tony drops the basket of vegetables he’d been carrying and clutches his chest, bending over with a whimper. “Oh.” “Tony?” May asks in concern, setting her own basket down to grab him so he doesn’t just keel over. “My mother just walked over my grave,” Tony whispers. “Save yourself.”
“You guys have been here for three years, certainly Tony’s mother would have noticed sooner?” May asks as she packs a suitcase. “Time is different for us,” Pepper begins mysteriously, and then grimaces. “Also Tony avoids court events like the plague so Maria sort of expects him not to come.” “Sounds like Tony,” May agrees reluctantly. Steve appears beside them between one breath and the next, looking pale. “She’s coming.” “So,” Tony says grimly. “This is how I die.” “Your mother’s not going to kill you, Tony,” May scoffs. When the other two fae look uncertain, she firmly repeats, “She’s not going to kill you.” “Well, I mean, we left out realm without a word to her, went gallivanting about with humans, and now Tony has gotten engaged without any of the proper courting that is expected for a fae Queen’s son,” Pepper points out. “It would be a miracle for her to choose not to kill him. And me,” she adds thoughtfully. “May please pack faster we really need to get out of here before Tony’s mother arrives.” “Aunt May!” Peter says cheerfully. “I got my bag packed and put it in the car and this really pretty lady asked me if Pepper and Tony lived here and I said yes!” “FUCK!” May exclaims as Pepper and Steve immediately faint. She should honestly just leave them there for Maria to kill. They’d deserve it.
Maria Stark is as beautiful as Peter had said. She also grabs Tony by the throat as soon as she sees him. “You have embarrassed me in front of the other courts,” she seethes. “Yes,” Tony agrees, choking. “WHAT THE FUCK,” May exclaims when she sees this. She looks around, spots the broom, and grabs it, turning to wallop Maria in the head with it. “PUT HIM DOWN GOD FUCK YOU FAE I HATE YOU YOU’RE SO STUPID.” “Hit her again!” Peter cheers, bouncing behind May. Maria has been chased down by humans with a variety of weapons, but a broom has never been one of them, and she can’t decide if she’s offended or impressed. She settles on deciding later, instead setting Tony down and grabbing the broom. It immediately withers to dust in her hands. “I just trained that broom,” Tony says sadly. “Tony,” Maria says, voice as hard as steel. “You will be returning home with me immediately.” Tony turns to look up from the broom-dust, surprised. Then his face does something terrible, and he sneers and says, “I will not.” “Tony,” Maria snarls. “I hate it there!” Tony snarls back. Suddenly Maria doesn’t look as ethereal, as deadly--now she just looks surprised, as if she was just a regular human mother who had been told that her son didn’t like the piano lessons she’d insisted upon. “What do you mean, you hate it there?” “Nobody likes me there!” Tony snaps. “They pretend to, sure, but only because they’re afraid of me! Or worse, they’re afraid of you. The Rogers’ court were the only ones who weren’t intimidated by me, and I thought maybe I’d found somewhere I could belong where people wouldn’t treat me differently. Then I accidentally offended them, and I was told in no uncertain terms not to come back! What was I supposed to do? Come back to your court and be miserable? Pepper was my only friend there and she was leaving! She was the only one who cared about how I felt! So I followed her here, and it’s the best choice I’ve ever made! I haven’t even said yes to Steve yet, and do you know why?” “I’m sure I don’t,” Maria says softly, because she’s coming to realize she doesn’t know her son at all. “Because I know if I say yes, he’ll want me to come back to the fae, and I don’t want that! I don’t want to go back where people don’t like me!” Tony exclaims, tears glistening in his eyes. “Tony,” Steve and Pepper say from the doorway, feeling as if he’s just ripped their hearts out. Peter pushes past May and looks up at him sadly. “Me and Aunt May like you, Tony.” “I know,” Tony chokes out, and then he leans down to scoop Peter up into a hug and walks out onto the porch so he can sit on the swinging bench there. Maria stares after him, stricken, then disappears between one breath and the next. Steve and Pepper are quick to follow, there one moment and gone the next. May stares at where the fae had been, then silently walks out onto the porch to sit down beside Tony and wrap her arm around him.
May had known, of course, that Tony had been... hurt. It shone through when he least expected it to, like when he was out scolding his plants, or babysitting Peter, or after a happy couple were bickering over which veggies to get for dinner. He would stand there, and sigh, and his shoulders would drop, as if to say ‘this is the best I’ll ever get--and I should be happy with it.’ But she’d thought, perhaps foolishly, that Tony was getting better. So with the knowledge that he hadn’t, Tony had just gotten better at hiding it, she arrives early to farmers market and tells everyone that Tony is considering moving to a different market because a rich ‘Karen’ type had told him he was cute. Underhanded? Perhaps. But she learned from her girlfriend how to manipulate people for good. “You’re so nice, Tony, we love having you here,” Clint says, and Tony blinks at him in bewilderment even as he sneaks another box of cherry tomatoes into Clint’s bag because Lucky loves cherry tomatoes. “I’m so grateful for you lending an ear whenever I’m trying to puzzle out my next step in my thesis, Tony,” Bruce tells him, and takes his hand and gives it a squeeze, and Tony just smiles back shyly. “You’re so good at what you do, Tony, and your face lights up so beautifully whenever you talk to people about what they’re going to make with your produce,” Thor praises. “I didn’t like very many vegetables before, and you’ve singlehandedly made me enjoy eating them. You’re a treasure.” Tony blushes and covers his cheeks and pretends he doesn’t see Loki putting another box of green tomatoes in their bag. “I like you,” Natasha says simply, and when Tony’s face goes all scrunched up, trying not to cry, she sets down the bag of zucchini loaf she’d made for him and walks around the table to bring him into a hug. May is pretty proud of herself, because Tony seems to bloom under the praise, and his smile looks a little more genuine with each person. She’s just about to ask Tony if he wants her to relieve him so he can go walk off some nervous energy or get some lunch or something all of the sudden the hair on the back of her neck stands on end, and she whips around to see a family standing in front of Tony’s booth, and Tony looks quietly terrified. “Can I help you?” May asks, stepping up beside him, and he grabs her hand and squeezes. “We just wanted to see who the new fae is,” one of the men says, and May is immediately disgruntled. If this is a pissing contest or they tell Tony he needs to leave, she’s throwing the entire goddamn table at them. The matron seems to sense this, and holds her hand out to May in amusement. “Roberta Rhodes. Don’t worry, dear, we left court life long ago. Didn’t agree with me.” “I’m May,” May replies magnanimously, taking her hand. “And this is Tony Stark.” “Tony Stark?!” Roberta sputters, and then gives Tony another up-and-down. Then she laughs and laughs, and walks away still laughing, followed by the rest of her family. May stares after her, frowning in concern. “What the hell was that?” “Mama and Maria Stark were what humans call ‘frenemies,’” the remaining fae explains, looking amused, and holds his hand out as well. “James. Or Jim, I’m not picky.” He turns a smile on Tony. “If I know my mama, and I do, she’s gonna tell everyone that you’re under her protection just because she knows it’ll piss your mom off.” Somehow, Tony looks delighted by this. “Would you like to come to dinner?” May asks sweetly. “May for the love of frogs will you STOP INVITING FAE TO THINGS SO YOU DON’T GET FUCKING CURSED,” Tony snarls, turning toward her. Jim laughs.
May is glad she invited Jim to dinner. “FUCKING BLEW OUT MY KITCHEN WALL?!” Tony screeches at Pepper, Steve, and Jim. “Tony needs to put a quarter in the swear jar,” Peter points out to May. She motions his attention back at his food. “Eat your supper.” “THIS IS MY HOUSE I CAN HAVE GUESTS! SOMETIMES THEY’RE FAE!” Tony screeches at them, then turns to his wall again. “MY FUCKING WALL!!!!!” “I’ll build it back,” Steve offers. “THIS UPSETS MY HERBS! I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT! THEY’RE SENSITIVE!” Tony continues, and the other fae wince when they look at the herbs and see them wilting. May is almost certain that the herbs are hamming it up, because it seemed like they’d been watching the spectacle in interest only moments before. “We’ll apologize to the herbs,” Pepper offers. “YEAH YOU BETTER IF YOU WANT CHIVES IN YOUR--” Tony gasps in horror when he turns and finds the chive pot broken in half, soil spilling out. “My chives!!!” Jim walks over and cups his hands around the pot, which promptly forms itself back into one piece. “Sorry,” he tells the chives, which perk up happily. “Tony,” Steve says grimly. “I’m taking out your other kitchen wall.” “What the fuck--” Tony sputters, before Steve lets out bone-jarring noise and tackles Jim through it. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY KITCHEN I COOK IN HERE!!!” Tony snarls, and then yelps when he sees the fight moving toward his tomato plants, scampering out after them. ‘YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY TOMATOES YOU MONSTERS!” “What have you done,” Pepper asks after a moment. “She’s cheering up Tony!” Peter answers happily. “Didn’t you see how happy he was?” Well, he was livelier than he’d been in a while, Pepper had to agree. “I’m still blaming you for the walls,” she says. May shrugs, unbothered. “Steve will fix them.”
