18th fic for my anniversary event | requested by anon
wc: 1.4k, fwb, smut (mdni), a lil angst, hurt/comfort, y/n is emotionally constipated, sunwoo is in love, fingering, piv, aftercare
a/n: it's been so long since these were requested & i'm so sorry for the wait >_< i'll be slowly picking up the remaining requests for this event!
event masterlist | tbz masterlist
You don’t care about him. Sunwoo knows, he knows it so well. And yet he’s waiting for you again, sitting on the off-white bedsheets at that stupid motel. The neon signs are flickering outside the window, harsh colors blending into the bright lights of the city. And he waits, because you called. After three weeks of silence, you finally called. This isn’t healthy, not for him because he’s too far gone in all the wrong ways, and not for you because you’re using him as a distraction from problems you don’t want to face. Sunwoo can’t fix them for you, but he would. He’d do a lot of things for you, if you just say the word, and that’s the whole problem. You’re never kind when you call him up. By now he knows the names he can expect from you all too well. Idiot. Asshole. Dumbass. Loser. Maybe he is too lenient with you, maybe he shouldn’t just accept whatever you’re giving. But he knows this isn’t about him, he knows you just need a place to vent your anger and Sunwoo is willing to be whatever place you need. He doesn’t make plans on weekends anymore, because there is always that chance of you calling and he knows he would prioritize you over anything else. He’d cancel it all just to spend three nights at this godforsaken motel with you. If he takes a moment to be honest with himself, he’ll have to admit that there’s nothing good coming out of these meetings, and his own unmet expectations have long started to take a toll on his life. Maybe he should draw a line. Maybe he should let you go.
But then there’s knocking on the door, taptap tap, and he jumps to his feet so quickly it makes the mattress squeak.
He has barely opened the door when he already feels your lips on his in a messy and desperate kiss. It makes him stumble backwards and he just so manages not to lose his footing. You throw the door shut behind you and discard your jacket on the floor and then you’re right back with him again, your hands tangling in the hair at the back of his neck as you devour his lips.
“What’s up, loser?” you say when you finally pull away and you try so hard to sound cool and aloof, but Sunwoo can hear the voice crack waiting to happen and he can see the red beneath your eyes.
“I have a name, you know,” he replies but he knows you won’t take the comment seriously. He never says it like he means it, so of course you’re not compelled to react accordingly.
“You think I remember that?”
“Right.” Sunwoo huffs a laugh. You’re obviously just saying that, but he thinks it’d be nice to hear you call his name sometimes. He’s too scared to make demands though, too scared one wrong move will make you delete his number and look for a different source of entertainment. Maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe you’d surprise him and stay. But he can’t take that risk. So he goes back to kissing you, his hands on your waist pulling you into his body and sneaking underneath the fabric of your top.
“Hurry,” you complain, when he’s taking his sweet time kissing down your neck, “you don’t have to treat me like some virgin.”
He’s not. He’s treating you like a person, but it’s no use arguing with you, so he lets you push him onto the mattress. You shimmy out of your shoes and pants and pull your top over your head and then you straddling his hips in nothing but your underwear that embraces your body in all the right ways.
“You’re so pretty,” he says, his hands naturally finding their way to your hips again.
“Shut up,” you reply as you unbutton his shirt and toss it aside. For a brief moment your fingers are roaming his upper body, cold fingertips that leave goosebumps on his warm skin, but then your impatience wins and you start to fumble with his jeans. You don’t make him take it off, you’re not wasting your time on that. Instead you push it down just enough to get your hands on him. Sunwoo lets out a moan when you touch him, moving in a way you know will get him hard, and the proud little smile on your lips makes him think he should stop trying to hold back his little sighs and noises. In a matter of minutes if not seconds, you have him all hot and bothered, but of course you wouldn’t let him cum like that. You crawl back to the edge of the bed, fishing out a condom from the pocket of your jeans that are lying on the floor, and then make quick work of opening the wrapper and rolling it on.
“Wait,” Sunwoo holds onto your hips as you hover above him, your panties already pushed to the side, ready to take him, “let me prep you first.”
You roll your eyes, grab his wrist and shove his hand between your legs, your juices soaking his fingers. “I’m wet enough, it’s fine,” you insist, but he still lets his digits run through your folds before slowly pushing them into you. He marvels at the small little noises you let out for him, crumbling so easily under his touch despite your insistence that it isn’t necessary.
“Enough already,” you press out between choked moans when he curls his fingers in a way he knows you love, and this time he relents, his own impatience to feel you making it easy to give in.
When you finally sink down on him, he thinks he's in heaven. You let out a whimper as he bottoms out, giving yourself a moment to adjust to him before you start moving. His fingertips dig into your flesh, the pleasure building up in him again with the roll of your hips. He’s close again way too quickly with you moving on top of him. He can’t cum yet though, not if you haven’t reached your high yet, so he moves one of his hands down to where you’re connected, rubbing circles on your clit that have you clenching around him.
“Close,” you sigh, your movements growing more and more sloppy. He bucks his hips into you to help you out as your legs start to lose strength, never stopping his ministrations on your clit. When you finally reach your orgasm, you clench so hard around him that it pushes him over the edge too. You ride your highs out together, your head falling onto his shoulder as you try to catch your breath.
“Fuck,” you mumble into his skin and then you slowly move off him, letting yourself fall onto the mattress. He takes another second to compose himself before he disappears into the bathroom and returns a moment later, a wet washcloth in hand.
“You don’t have to do that,” you say as he wipes down your body, but he can tell you secretly like it by the way you close your eyes and relax into his touch. It grows quiet and peaceful between the two of you and Sunwoo thinks you fell asleep, but then you speak up once more.
“I missed you, Sunwoo.” He almost doesn’t trust his own ears, but when he looks into your hooded eyes they are already looking right back at him. He’s at a loss for words, stopping all movements and staring at you.
“Didn’t you miss me?” you ask when he stays silent, “At least a little bit?” You’ve never been this vulnerable with him before.
“I missed you,” he finally replies, setting aside the washcloth and cupping your cheeks, “I missed you so much.” He gently kisses your temple and your eyes flutter shut, “So don’t make me wait so long anymore. Let's do things properly.”
But your eyes stay closed and you don’t reply. Sunwoo knows you’re not asleep. He knows you’re just running away from a moment that felt a bit too intimate for comfort. And he lets you. He’ll wait again; he can wait some more.
♡ pls consider reblogging if you enjoyed this ♡ event masterlist | tbz masterlist
Your smile was weak, but reassuring for Sunwoo as he walked through the front door, a heart full of relief to see you there already home. His body was limp, barely able to strip himself of his coat and his shoes, scuffing his feet as he walked through the house once he was sorted.
“Let me guess, bad day?” You gently chuckled, patting the space on the sofa beside you for Sunwoo.
With as much effort as he could manage, his head nodded in reply to you, throwing himself down onto the sofa without a care in the world. His head fell back, relaxing into your lap as sorry eyes looked up at you, desperately searching for some comfort.
“You’ve been working so hard lately,” you whispered, instinctively moving your hand to start running through the curls in his hair.
You could feel just from the many knots that occupied Sunwoo’s hair that he had had a torrid day. The mess meant only one thing, a long day of rehearsals, with hours of jumping around, perfecting the same step over and over again until everyone was happy.
“Can I get you anything?” You then asked, unsure quite what you could do for Sunwoo, knowing only that you wanted to do whatever it took to try and make him feel a little bit better about his day.
His head shook in reply to you, nuzzling further down into your lap instead. As he did, the bottom of his jumper rode up, exposing his abdomens to the cold that was in the room.
“You can sleep if you want,” you assured, watching his eyes flicker several times.
Sunwoo refused, determined to try and stay awake for a little while. “I don’t want to sleep on you already, this is the first time that I’m even getting to see you today, I want to talk for a while.”
Your heart sunk when you woke up in the morning to find that Sunwoo had gone. As ever, a note of apology waited for you on the dining table when you eventually made your way downstairs, with several bits laid out for you.
“We can talk tomorrow, unless you’re busy again,” you tried to suggest, unsure quite how Sunwoo’s schedule looked with it so packed as a result of comeback, “you need to rest.”
Sunwoo’s head shook back at you, running his hands over his face in an attempt to wake himself up a little more. “I’m comfortable laying here for a little while, I promise that I’ll sleep soon, but just not yet, that’s all.”
Your head nodded in agreement with his offer, although you were still a little nervous about keeping Sunwoo up. Over your years together, you had come to learn the signs of exhaustion in him, with every box being ticked tonight.
“I’ll get a blanket for you,” you whispered, craning your arm around to grab the blanket that hung over the back of the sofa, shaking it to unfold it before letting it fall over Sunwoo’s figure.
Weak hands outstretched, curling his fingertips around the top of the material to tuck it in tightly underneath his neck. “What about you? Won’t you get cold without this?” Sunwoo questioned, noting the t-shirt that you wore.
“Having you lay on me is keeping me nice and warm,” you encouraged, entangling your hands back in with his hair as soon as you were sure that the blanket was comfortable for him. “Why don’t you tell me about your day, if you’re awake enough to?”
Sunwoo shuffled slightly so that he was able to look up at you a little better as he spoke. “It’s just been long,” he defeatedly sighed, “I know that the company want perfection, but I really felt like just giving up today Y/N.”
“You’ve got to make sure to take care of yourself,” you reminded him.
Sunwoo knew that you were right, but with so many voices yelling at him, telling him that he could do better, he just kept working. He pushed himself to the limit time and time again, leaving you terrified at times as to the state that he’d come home in.
“Did you mention to anyone how tired you were?” You then asked him.
His head shook in reply to you, “I don’t think they ever really listen Y/N.”
“What about Sangyeon?” You frowned, trying your best not to let Sunwoo see how irritated you were that Sunwoo hadn’t been taking good care of himself. “I know you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders sometimes, but you need to be careful.”
A hum came from Sunwoo, turning his head again to push further into the palm of your hand that ran through his hair, encouraging you to keep doing what you were doing.
It was difficult for you to be mad at him when you saw how weak he was. His body was limp, relying on you to support him, feeling his eyes begin to flicker as sleep began to hit him as finally calm descended on his day.
Your heart broke watching him, having to only stand back and watch sometimes as Sunwoo placed an enormous amount of pressure on his shoulders was tough. You wanted to tell him that he was doing enough, but he never listened.
“Things will get better,” you suddenly spoke, for Sunwoo’s peace of mind and your own.
His head gently nodded in agreement with you, once comeback was finished, Sunwoo knew clear air would arrive again, it was just a case of biding his time.
“In a couple of weeks, the stress will be gone.”
“I just really want this comeback to go well,” Sunwoo admitted with a sigh, “the group has been on such a high recently, and I feel like one of the faces, I feel like everyone’s watching me and expecting good things, there’s so many people that I have to deliver for.”
You had stood by and watched Sunwoo’s rise to prominence, both excitedly, and nervously. With more people talking about him and mentioning his name, you knew more pressure would follow, that Sunwoo often struggled to deal with.
“You know that the people who matter are always proud of you,” you calmly reminded Sunwoo, “and your fans will support you constantly, they won’t want to see you wearing yourself down, not for them especially.”
The expectation was something that Sunwoo was yet to truly master, as much as he wanted to have everything organised, he just couldn’t.
Without you, he wasn’t sure if he would ever find the balance at all, with you being there to direct him whenever he needed it. You were far from perfect at caring for him too, but as far as Sunwoo was concerned, you always knew the right thing to do.
“Do you think I could take that nap that you offered to me now,” he chuckled, struggling to keep his eyes open as the stress of the day quickly began to catch up to him.
Your head nodded, without even having to think, tugging through his hair a little harder to encourage him to rest. “Close your eyes, you need to rest well.”
“Keep holding onto me,” he requested, “and I’ll wake up soon.”
“babe seriously, if you take any longer we’re really going to be late,” sunwoo whined in panic while you put your fake lashes in place.
as you fan on your freshly put lashes you chuckled before answering your boyfriend, “sunwoo, my parents aren’t going to give you detention if we get there a little late.”
sunwoo will be meeting your parents for the first time after 6 months of dating. your parents never really pressured you to bring him home to have him meet them until last month when they were shocked you were still together. i guess you could say it’s getting serious. well, you knew it was serious with sunwoo, he had always been good to you and genuine with his feelings. you just didn’t want to burden him with the “meet-the-family” thing because he might get panicky, although now, he already is.
“i know y/n,” he continued whining acting as if he is to cry, “don’t joke around me right now i’m literally cold inside and out i’m so nervous i don’t want them to think you have a shit boyfriend.”
you turned to look at him in shock, “hey don’t say that, they’ll love you sunwoo you’re amazing with people.” you reached for his hand in an attempt to console him. you were really surprised that he’d think that. although you did expect him to be nervous, you initially thought he’d still be confident about meeting your parents, he was the one who often asked about when he’d get to meet them. he was also so enthusiastic meeting your friends from your hometown before and they ended up liking him for it. sunwoo always looked confident talking with people and he was one to keep the conversation going, even making them laugh occasionally. now he’s all tensed and you’d actually think it’s cute if it wasn’t for his face looking so pale.
“sunwoo at this point i’m gonna have to put makeup on you too, please take it easy,” rubbing your thumbs on the back of his hand.
“remember how i was so worried about meeting your family too? i almost backed out then but it ended up being just fine.”
“but that’s you and you’re amazing. i might mess up and your parents will think i’m just another dude and then tell you to date someone else or something,” now he’s whining in pout but you have to push aside your potential cooing.
“babe, even if they end up not liking you, which i’m sure they won’t, it’s not like i’m gonna drop you then and there? you’re too cute to dump sunwoo i’d be the shit girlfriend if i do that,” you joke.
that got sunwoo chuckling and taking your hands with his this time.
“if i end up crying in front of your mom or dad please hug me,” now it’s him joking and it relieved you that he’s loosen up a little.
“that wasn’t a joke,” sunwoo said making you laugh even more.
this is one of the many things you loved about him.
“see if you keep up with these jokes until later you’d survive dinner,” you remarked turning back around to the mirror and finishing your makeup. sunwoo only glared at you, “okay but if they ask why were late i’m gonna say it’s because of those damn lashes.”
“also can you drive? because if you let me i might keep going around back here.”
sunwoo’s jest about his nervousness went on the whole drive and you’re just glad he’s not frozen. the ride didn’t take too long and you were in front of your house even before sunwoo could process.
he inhaled before speaking, “i can’t cancel now, can i,” you gently slapped his arm at his remark.
“it’s too late to cancel now but if you feel like crying just tell me, so i can tell them i’m tired so we go back to my apartment already and leave,” you jokingly said before keying in and opening the door.
safe to say sunwoo didn’t broke down in tears that night. he calmed down during dinner and enjoyed the food your dad made, probably the reason why your dad liked him instantly. your mom and sister on the other hand laughed almost the whole night, also found him so lovely for doing sports and managing his studies at the same time.
the night turned out fine, sunwoo was okay, he was happy just as much as you were.
"c'mere," sunwoo gestured towards you. your head perked up from your phone at the sound of his voice calling for you. he stood by the exit of his room and his back leaned against the door frame.
you tilted your head sideways in slight confusion, yet you still slid off the couch and slightly jogged to him, giving your last step a little hop.
sunwoo's lips slightly curved upwards at the gesture and patted your head. you leaned towards the warmth from his hand, allowing the soothing sensation spread till your fingertips.
your half-lidded eyes shot open when you felt a sudden hot feeling at the center of your forehead. his peck left a lingering tingle on your skin. that sensation harmonously synchronized with your fast heartbeat was a combination that left you out of breath.
"hey what was that for!" you exclaimed, adding a slight tone.
"oh, are you mad that i didn't kiss you on the lips?" he knew how to push your buttons.
before you could protest, sunwoo closed the gap between the two of you and his lips grazed yours slightly, teasing your patience a little.
you pulled him by the collar of his shirt slightly frustratedly, properly connecting your lips at last. you felt him relax after the short initial shock, moving along the rhythm of your lips.
when you part, you carressed his cheek and looked him in the eye.
"kim sunwoo, if you're going to kiss me then kiss me properly."
⇢ Sunwoo x reader, 500 ish words. Short and fluffy.
⇢ Your new lip gloss is berry flavoured.
Sunwoo was staring at you again.
"What?" you finally ask, giving up on the textbook in front of you after spending all too long reading and rereading the same paragraph. It definitely wasn't a good idea to study with him when he would be so distracting, even if he was simply staring at you.
"Hmm? I'm studying," his lip twitches before settling into a lazy smile. "Studying you."
"Ugh, you're such a distraction."
He doesn't even bother hiding the fact that he hadn't been doing his readings at all for the past hour. The textbook may be open in front of him, but it's upside down. It also wasn't for any of the courses he was taking.
Sunwoo grabs the armrest of your chair and drags your entire seat closer to him. "Then let's go do something fun? I know you definitely haven't learned a thing from that page."
"It's your fault I can't focus," you mutter, avoiding his gaze as he continues staring. Up close now.
"Well, you should be focusing on me instead." Sunwoo leans in. He lowers his voice, "Besides, I can't help it when you smell so good. You are so intoxicating that it's dangerous."
You quickly glance around the library, making sure there's no one in the vicinity to witness this. "Stop, it's just the new lip gloss. Some sort of berry or fruity flavour."
"Hmm," he hums. Drops his gaze inch by inch until it rests on your lips. "Does it taste as good as it smells?"
"You... want to find out?"
Sunwoo nods, slowly leaning in. He cups your jaw, tilting your head towards him ever so gently. You relax your mouth and part your lips, letting your eyes slowly close. The loud thudding of your heart seems to cut through the silence of the library as you anticipate the moment his lips would meet yours.
But then you feel it. It's not his lips that meet yours. He runs a finger against your bottom lip instead as if scooping up the gloss, before putting it in his own mouth.
Tasting it. Literally.
"What—are you doing?"
"Can't really taste much," he says, pretending to think as he savours the flavour on his tongue. His mouth slowly curls into a smirk when he notices your frown. "What? Were you expecting something else, hmm?"
"N-no! Shut up—"
"You're cute, you know? If you wanted me to kiss you that badly, you should've just said so," Sunwoo laughs, lightly ruffling your hair. "But maybe I could go for another taste of your lip gloss. To figure out what it is."
This time the teasing smirk turns into a fond smile just before he closes the distance. And this time, his soft lips do meet yours. His touch is light and yet it makes you feel all too hot, your pulse quickening by the second. It makes you forget about the sweet scent of berries when all you could taste was Sunwoo.
There's a playful look in his eyes when he pulls back to catch his breath.
"So?" you prompt. "Did you figure it out?"
Sunwoo furrows his brows, thinking. Or rather, pretending to think. "It might be berry, but," he says cheerfully before leaning in once again, "I guess I'll just have to get another taste to make sure."
Requested by anon! You broke up with Sunwoo because of long distance and he’s hated you ever since. When you meet up after three years, feelings resurface.
Genre: angst, ex to lovers au, enemies to lovers kinda, fluffy ending.
A/N: JESUS i know I said that I don’t have time because I LITERALLY DON’T. So don’t ask me why all this inspiration comes to me when I can’t even sit down to write -- I write on the way to and from work, it’s so sad -- so yeah. I hope you enjoy <3 <3
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Breaking up because of long distance was one of the biggest regrets of your life. The fact that you had to let him go because it was just getting too hard for your heart to cope was, in itself, heartbreaking. But you figured that it could get better, for the both of you, if you moved on with your lives without being tied at the hip with someone that was a continent away.
Except, the moment you had murmured your silent goodbyes, you had broken down into the most horrible, heartbreaking sobs that had ravaged your entire body. You cried and cried and cried, and wouldn't stop. The tears just wouldn't stop even when you told yourself that it was better this way, that he'd find someone better, stronger, it did nothing to ease the burning pain pulling your heartstrings apart.
One thing was for sure, Sunwoo's behaviour made things much easier. He'd grown distant first, curt and cold and isolating you, though you knew deep down it was a way to protect his own heart from the damage you'd inflicted on him.
But then he started ignoring your messages, spoke rudely whenever you did catch him on the phone. While you tried being understanding the first few times, you soon grew frustrated and annoyed that he'd act so childishly. The man you had once loved with all your heart had now been reduced to nothing but someone who kept digging holes into your heart.
You juggled the thought of asking him whether he hated your guts for what you did. You wouldn't judge him. On the contrary, you'd understand.
But you hadn't. Merely because the thought of losing him forever pained you.
Fast forward three years and here you were, sitting in a restaurant with a group of your high school friends, Sunwoo included. He'd nodded curtly at your appearance but did nothing more, causing your heart to squeeze in pain at the nostalgia kicking through your stomach.
"It's been years, Y/N. And you look the same," one of your good friends, Eric, jovially stated with a wink, already down by a few beers.
"Thanks Eric, I'll take that as a compliment."
"Don't go hitting on Sunwoo's ex with him right here," your classmate Raina said, "let's not end this dinner in a fight."
"I don't think Sunwoo minds," you mumbled loud enough for it to reach everyone's ears.
"You're right, I don't care," Sunwoo's voice -- still as deep, still as gorgeously beautiful and rough. An obvious contrast to the iciness of his words like pricks aimed at your heart.
You tried your best to brush off his comment, turning to Raina to ask her about any updates about her love life.
As the night wore on and people fell into deeper conversation, others left with excuses that they had spouses to return to, families waiting for them. Until there's only you and Eric in a corner, with Sunwoo at the bar, chatting up a gorgeous girl that looked like she had just walked out of a magazine spread.
"Still doesn't wanna talk huh?" Eric took a swig of his drink.
You shook your head, "he hates me, Eric."
"No he doesn't."
"Yes, he does.He can't even look at me in the eye without scowling."
"Bollocks. You just don't see it."
"What's there to see?" You scoffed, "if killing me was legal he would've done it ages ago."
Hesitating slightly, Eric takes another swig of his drink before replying, "look, I can't speak for him. But...you'll just have to talk to him yourself."
"Fuck no, I'm not doing that," you crossed your arms over your chest.
"Stubbornness never looked good on anyone."
You pulled out your tongue in response.
"Childish," Eric's eyebrow rose in amusement. Before you could defend yourself though, the said man turned to call out Sunwoo's name and you watched in growing horror as Sunwoo walked over to your table.
"Right," Eric jumped up from his seat as though it was on fire, "Sunwoo, keep her company. I'm off to see my girlfriend."
"What? No--" but Eric was already out of the door before Sunwoo's protests were heard, resulting in an awkward air hanging off your table the moment he turned, causing you to quickly drop your eyes to the beer you were nursing.
"You don't have to stay here," came your mumble.
You felt him shift in his seat before he said, "even if I am, I'm not doing this for you."
"I know," you shot back, gaze flitting up to clash with his mahogany orbs, ones that you remembered held so much love and tenderness before. They were now cold, dark with silent seething anger. You continued, "I know you're not. I never asked you to."
"Then stopping looking at me like that," he snapped, "you of all people should know how tough this is for me."
"Sunwoo, it's been three years--"
"Don't," he cut you off with a hiss, "talk about that."
Rage started to bubble in your stomach, "I don't understand whether you hate me, or whether you’ve just turned into this rude annoying person that nobody can stand.”
He seemed to have been slapped by your statement, stayed silent for a few minutes as he clasped his drink a little tighter.
Knowing Sunwoo, he was probably silently seething from what you'd just said. Your own fingers clenched around your beer, hating how easily he could upset you even after all these years.
When he spoke next, his alto was slightly softer, a little less harsh on you, "I don't hate you."
"Doesn't seem like it to me."
There was a pause in which you managed to recollect your emotions, the anger simmering down to cold remorse at how badly you had left things.
"I'm sorry," you murmured out, avoiding his eyes in case he saw the pain that consumed you, "I know it's not easy for you. It's not easy for me either."
"I don't hate you, Y/N," Sunwoo's alto was gentle this time, without any of the malice of the earlier hour, "I...It just hurts me, every time I see you I can't stop thinking of what we were before. I--" he shifted and you managed to lift your orbs up to his, only to see guilt swimming through his as he choked out, "I miss you."
Emotion tightened your chest. Tears rushed to your eyes, "I miss you too."
You stayed unmoving, your eyes saying everything that your words couldn't. The music boomed around you, filled the empty silence that would've swallowed you whole otherwise.
When you felt your ex-boyfriend move in your peripheral, you glanced at him, noticing for the first time the tired lines around his eyes. What looked like resignation was set on his face.
And then he was pushing his hair back, muttering a string of excuses about how he couldn't do this anymore before he walked right out of the bar, with you gaping at his retreating form.
"Sunwoo! Hey--" you scrambled up to chase after him, stumbling over your feet as you gripped your bag clumsily. Running out into the street to see him already steps ahead of you, you quickly jogged up to his frame, not taking into account the nervous fluttering through your chest.
"Hey, wait! Sunwoo!" You gripped onto his arm and pulled him back. He resisted.
You started blurting things out anyway, desperate to make things right, desperate to take away the pain he felt.
"Sunwoo I'm sorry," you stumbled on as he quickened his stride, "I never--I never meant to hurt you, I-- I thought that it was best for both of us at the time, I didn't--" your words were choked, laced with emotion, "I didn't know how hard it would be."
He stopped so abruptly you almost walked into his back.
His shoulders shook as he spoke, "when we broke up, I couldn't stop thinking. Did I do something wrong? Should I have done more?" He took a breath, "I wasn't living, Y/N. I barely ate. I kept seeing you everywhere I went. It was-- it was horrible," his alto broke at the last word.
You took a step closer. Tentative. Hesitant. Hands tightened into fists.
He continued, "and it never got better. I thought it would. That's what they all said. But three years have passed. Three years and I still feel like I lost the most precious fucking thing in my life and I can't live with myself because of that."
You couldn't feel your heart, which was tightening with pain and sympathy that mirrored his words. Memories of you crying into your pillow as you willed all of your love to disappear, memories of the dull ache stretching across your ribs because you had cried too much.
You opened your mouth, an apology on the tip of your tongue, when Sunwoo swivelled around so fast you barely blinked, his hands finding your shoulders in a tight grip.
"Y/N," His eyes were red and red-rimmed as they searched yours in growing desperation, "look Y/N, what I had-- what we had, I miss that. I miss us. Please, I--" swallowing thickly as his grip tightened on you, he continued, "you can do anything. Anything, Y/N. Break me. Use me. Do whatever the fuck you want but just-- just--" his chest heaved with a shaky inhale, a sob echoing from his throat, "just let me be yours again."
The silence that followed was deafening. You couldn't believe your ears. Your heart beat so loud you felt it vibrate against your ribcage.
His chest heaved, his breaths coming out short and static as he stared at you, waiting, hoping.
There were so many things, so many things you wished to say at this very moment, so many things that you had regretted the moment you had parted ways with this amazing man.
And now, to hear that he wanted you back, that he was still undoubtedly, irrevocably in love with you was enough to bring fresh tears to your eyes as another wave of pure hope crashed through your heart and flooding it with light.
"Y/N," Sunwoo searched your eyes, "say something--"
You did. Jumped up to press your mouth against his.
He stumbled, hands finding purchase at your waist.
And when he kissed you back, all thoughts flew out of your head only to leave Sunwoo's taste engulfing your entire being like you had never stopped loving him from the first day you met.
It was pure, utter bliss. It was like finding the lost lover that had parted ways with you at sea. Sunwoo's mouth was hard on your own as he moved with the same grace, the same fluidity that left you breathless. His grip tightened, fingers sliding under the hem of your shirt to rest on your lower back as sparks ignited beneath your half-closed lids. Everything came crashing back; the memories, the happiness, the giddy excitement that erupted in the form of goosebumps and electrical sizzles over your limbs whenever Sunwoo kissed you.
It had never stopped. And at this very moment, you wondered briefly why you had forced him away when your heart was still irrevocably his.
One hand coming up to cup your jaw, he proceeded to tilt your head back to suckle onto your lower lip, the action causing a gasp to die in your throat while your hands tightened around his neck, pulling him even closer if that was possible.
Sunwoo's chest rumbled with a choked up moan, tongue darting out to meet yours halfway while a soft whimper echoed through your throat. You tried to match his movements, to kiss back as passionately as he was kissing you. But it was almost like Sunwoo was trying his best to make up for all the time you's spent apart, his mouth permanently pressed on yours and when you turned to catch your breath, he kissed your cheek, the corner of your eye, pulling you into him to imprint another kiss at the base of your neck.
You shuddered with emotion, body lighting up on fire and heat pooling through your stomach. Turning your head back until your noses brushed, your breath caught when your eyes locked, for Sunwoo's gaze was one of fierce, intense affection, as though you were something he'd sworn to protect his whole life.
"Don't," his gaze softened, thumb brushing your lower lip, "don’t ever leave me again, I--” his own lips trembled, "I don't know how...how I'll live with myself if you do."
You knew that words were going to be useless at this point, so you just nodded, biting down on your lower lip as he leaned in and dropped a kiss near your temple.
It was weird after so long, to have his body so close and his scent overwhelming your senses, a reminder of many long nights where you'd cuddled up to sleep on his chest. Just the memory made your lips tilt into a soft amile.
That grabbed his attention, "what are you thinking about?" He murmured.
"About you," your soft maroon clash with his intense dark chocolate, "about how stupid it was to have given up on us, because all this time apart feels like a waste. And I feel so stupid."
"It's not your fault Y/N," he smoothed a hand over the side of your head as his gaze softened, "there were so many things working against us. And maybe-- maybe it was right, at this time."
Your head tilted upwards to watch him. You felt his fingers, absentmindedly drumming against your lower back and igniting a line of sparks up your spine.
He continued, "I wouldn't have known, how important you were to me, how you filled up such a major part of my life--Oh shit. You're crying?" He was quick to catch your incoming tear with his thumb, panic flashing through his features, "Y/N? What is it? What did I say?”
“Nothing, it’s nothing I just--I’m so sorry I broke up with you,” you blurted out as silent tears trailed down your cheeks. Shaking your head and looking up into his maroon orbs, you impulsively reached up to cup his face with your hands. Lucky, your subconscious chanted. You were lucky to have someone like him.
"Come here,” You didn’t protest when Sunwoo’s arms tugged you into his broad chest -- was it broader? You felt like it was-- before his head rested atop yours. Another softest of pecks was imprinted atop your forehead, then your nose, before he dipped his head for a chaste kiss upon your mouth.
It felt like a promise. It felt like a message conveyed from him to you, that he wasn’t about to let go, prompted even more when he wound his arms around your frame in a firm, yet gentle hug.
You pillowed your head against his chest, closed your eyes, and counted all your blessings.
You were definitely counting Sunwoo as one. And you’d make sure that you wouldn’t be as foolish as to let go of him ever again.
Being a friend with Sunwoo was interesting. Sometimes Y/N thinks that they were dating and sometimes it feels like they were like lost siblings.
Sunwoo asked her on Saturday afternoon if she wanted to go out with him and some of his friends. Like always she said yes. Sometime later, Y/N met Sunwoo in the cinema.
"Just pretend to be my date," he told her.
"What did you say?" she asked him.
"Just pretend to be my date. Changmin brings his girlfriend today and I didn't want to be the third wheel," Sunwoo looked at her with puppy eyes.
"But Changmin knows we aren't dating. So what's the point?" Y/N shrugged.
"Okay. They aren't going. It's just you and me. I only wanted to go on a date with you, okay?" he exhaled deeply.
"You should tell me normally. I am not wearing anything special at all," she pointed at her outfit.
"You look beautiful. Even if you wear your pajamas you'll look gorgeous," he came closer to her.
"You're liar," she smirked at him.
"So... should we buy popcorn?" Sunwoo asked her and took her hand in his. Y/N nodded with a bright smile on her lips.
“Please you have to talk to me! It’s been a week Sunwoo, what is wrong with you?”
He sat with his head in his hands, knowing there was no running away from things now. You deserved to know why he had been so distant, why he’d gone cold.
He spoke, but barely above a whisper. “What?”
You stepped closer, kneeling in front on him and resting your hands on his knees as he took a deep breath.
“I said, I love you.”
Surely he’d misspoke. You two were nothing more than best friends, you always had been. Though you’d be lying if you said you hadn't thought of him in that way once or twice, but Sunwoo never showed any sign of liking you more than as his friend.
“Well, um, I don’t...I’m sorry I don’t know what to say.”
“This isn’t right....I can’t....I shouldn’t...”
He stood up, pacing the floor as you just moved to sit on his bed. Watching as he tried to calm himself.
“Sunwoo, I, what is so wrong? It’s okay if you feel that way. It’s, I don’t know, natural for us to be so close and you to have developed feelings. I mean, I even-”
“I never meant to fall in love with you!”
His voice rang throughout the room, causing you to jump a bit. “I can’t love you. I, I’m so sorry but you need to go, now. Please.”
