The Hero and the Infant: part one
Is this title my cheeky little nod at EPIC the musical? Absolutely, enjoyyyyy!
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The heroes came running when the world was on fire. They always came running. Hero was at the bar, where they always were, watching the news. A neat whiskey clutched between bandaged fingers.
The door slammed open. Hero didn’t have to turn to know it was Superhero’s sidekick. “Hero –”
“Not interested.”
“But Villain –”
“I know. Don’t care,” Hero replied. Daryl, the bartender, shot Hero a look and Hero pretended to not see it.
Sidekick sat on the stool next to Hero and ordered another: “whiskey; neat.”
“Mmm, I love being bribed,” Hero smiled, winking at Daryl.
“Villain’s destroying the city.”
“I didn’t ask.”
“And you’re here, drinking.”
“Perceptive,” Hero purred, taking the whiskey glass from Daryl and pouring the honey liquid of it into their glass. “They’re a minor,” Hero whispered to Daryl conspiratorially.
“I’m not.”
“Well, then. You’re on the clock. Can’t fight crime if you’re impaired.”
“And yet somehow you manage.”
“Somehow, I’m always called in on my day off. Blame your boss for disrupting my plans. Not the other way around, sunshine.”
Hero took a sip of their drink. In their peripheral vision they saw Sidekick turn their body to face Hero. Mmm, getting serious. Hero loved serious Sidekick. It’s like a puppy trying to be mean.
“You know Villain best –”
“Bullshit. Your Superhero knows them longest.”
“Villain likes you best,” Sidekick amended, and Hero nodded.
“So? Are we match making heroes and villains now? Is that Superhero’s excuse, hmm? Will that same explanation slide if I come up against a new villain?” Hero put on a high-pitched voice as they said: “oh I’m sorry superhero. This new villain’s rising sign is Virgo. I’m a Scorpio, we’re gonna clash.”
“This is different, and you know it.”
“How is this different? Because your beloved Superhero says so? Are you just a little dog with no mind of your own? Does Superhero whistle and you come?”
“I’m not here to trade insults, Hero. God knows that could well be your superpower,” Hero took the words as a compliment as the kid continued: “I’m here to ask you to help me stop people’s lives being ruined. Normal people’s lives. Fuck Superhero. Fuck villain. Fuck the whole fucking system. I’m here to ask you, to help me. Please.”
Hero looked at Daryl and Daryl looked at them. Hero rolled their eyes and tipped their head back, the whiskey running hot down their aching throat. Then they stood. Empty glass on the bar. Hero shrugged their trench coat on and patted Sidekick’s shoulder fondly.
“Pay Daryl for me will ya? And a big tip, for the inconvenience. See you tomorrow, Daryl,” Hero waved over their shoulder. Whistling as they walked out the door of their local pub.
“Thanks Daryl,” Sidekick said, paying the man and leaving a generous tip.
“Thank me all you want kid. Hero’ll just be back in here after the fight. It’s good to see them getting out, even if it is under these circumstances. Y’know ever since –”
“I know, Daryl. Thanks.”
“Later kid.”
Sidekick followed Hero out the door, where Hero was waiting a lit cigarette hanging from their lips.
“So,” Hero asked, flicking their zippo lighter shut with a satisfying click, shooting Sidekick their signature lazy smirk. “What’s Villain up to today?”
*~*~*~*~*
Continued here
