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A friend of mine that ive known for 6+ years has became much more inappropriate, rude, and fake in the last 3 years (sense highschool) and i cant really scold her when she does these things because she does a sort of guilt trip on me to where i feel like im the bad guy. I have a lot of anxiety around her because she might blurt out something absolutely horrid or suddenly change into a sweet innocent girl. The thing is, i cant exactly leave her easily because she hangs out (pt 1 sweetmochi)

(pt 2 sweetmochi) out with my group of friends too. i don't want to start drama, but i cant take it anymore, i deal with her in 3 classes everyday, while my friends see her once in awhile, i guess they havent seen enough of her as i have, thats why im a bit hesitant to talk to them about it. The amount of anxiety she gives me even started effecting my health sadly :c How do i go about telling my friend that i dont want to be her friend anymore or really even speak to her?(i hope that made sense)

Hey there, Sweetmochi.

Here are my tips on distancing yourself from a toxic friend:

1. Make sure it's for the right reasons. Before making any drastic decisions like completely cutting out a person out of your life, you have to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Weigh up the pros and cons of your relationship and decide whether your friendship is really important to you. Make sure you don’t make the wrong move in the heat of the moment. Give yourself time and make your final decision of distancing yourself from a toxic friend with a clear head.

2. Remind yourself that no matter the fallout, this is what is best. If you are having conflicting emotions toward a toxic friend, chances are that choosing to end a friendship will be hard for you. You may feel like there is too much history and might be scared your other friends will react badly. However, if problems continue to arise even after several times of trying to mend the friendship, cutting the person off may be the best decision. It might be hard removing a constant in your life, but you won’t feel the tightness in your chest and constant pressure from your toxic friend.

3. Reduce interaction. Once you've decided that you would be better off without that person in your life, it’s time to abate the interaction between the two of you. It might be hard for you because you have to see her every day, but try to converse with other friends and build relationships with other people and before you know it you will gradually remove yourself from a bad friendship situation.

4. Get involved in other activities. One of the best things that you can do when distancing yourself from a toxic friend is getting involved in other activities and getting to meet new people. You will have an excuse for not seeing or talking to your toxic friend and will be able to fill your longing for a new friend that can be there for you.

5. Be prepared for confrontation. If you are completely set to end a toxic friendship, you have to be prepared for a confrontation. Depending on what type of person your friend is, she might just get used to you being distant or they will approach you with questions. At this point you have two options; either you honestly tell them that distance is good for both of you, or you can say that you've been occupied with other things. Whatever you do it’s up to you but make sure that after that conversation, you don’t fall back into the trap of the toxic friendship again.

6. Stay consistent. After succeeding in distancing yourself from your friend, it’s important to stay consistent. You want to make sure that the bond between the two of you has been completely broken. After putting so much effort into ending a toxic friendship, you don’t want to hit reverse and be stuck in negativity again.

Best of luck, Lovely.

<3 ~Yiska

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