hm. haven’t seen any other systems talk about this. i’m increasingly thinking we don’t have a frontspace? rather than thinking we don’t have an inner world (monoconscious, don’t remember not fronting, etc).
originally i thought we had a mostly-void frontspace that very occasionally turned into a specific setting if needed, but….
gabriel, for some reason, has a slight ability to remember things when not fronting. extremely slight, mostly single images or vague impressions, but he was able to tell us that we do have an inner world which looks something like a cartoonish video game map from above, with different themed areas and not much in the way of realistic geography (which is to say, it looks realistic to us, but the size of an ocean or forest etc is not consistent or realistic and the placement of biomes/features doesn’t make sense).
recently, gabriel and ash have also been able to travel between locations while fronting and discover new ones.
so all of that together seems to point to us not having a “frontspace” and front moreso coming to whoever wants the body? maybe it will still be a void sometimes while we’re discovering more of the world, or maybe the void IS a location in the world? i dunno, and i’d be really curious if anyone has similar experiences at all
i’m baby plural but idk i feel like the “alters aren’t people they’re parts of a whole” thing (that i tend to see pushed hard in anti-endo circles) is like…yeah okay sure technically. but also. fuck you maybe.
not to make the same comparison again but it’s a lot like telling trans people they can never change their chromosomes. like yeah. we know. and you’re an asshole
kind of funny as hell how being a system just puts all this random shit about you out there super blatantly. how many rude standoffish assholes with violent tendencies who hate sensory input do you need to split before some shit about your childhood becomes really fucking obvious
waves. hi y’all. figure it’s about time we put some organized information together. we are a plural collective officially dubbed the songbird system, and i’m your host, wrenkes :3 and here’s some basics:
we are a bodily 21 system of unknown origin (trauma definitely involved but we don’t feel comfortable claiming a medical label yet), currently self-diagnosed. we will not tolerate syscourse on this blog, but a more detailed explanation of our stances is below.
we’d love to make more friends, especially plural friends, and highly encourage questions about us/our experience/plurality in general, though keep in mind that we are still new to this and not experts on anything.
we choose not to have a collective name or identity, please do not address us as a group by name (but plural second person is very appreciated, e.g. “you all/you guys”). defaulting to wren/kes and they/them is fine since it’s usually true, but feel free to ask! we also do not use the terms alter/headmate/etc for ourselves and prefer members/people/others. you may use any word you like when talking to us about other systems or in general terms.
frequent fronters
(#bird noises will remain our original post tag, and #[name] noises will be used to identify who is posting. if no one is specified, assume wren/kes. #systemsong will be used for posts talking about our experiences with plurality.)
🪶 wren | 21 | they/them | mask 🪶
one half of the sometimes-dual, sometimes-singular entity that is wrenkes. usually in front, functions as a public persona/mask/translator for the others and as such does most of the posting. rarely, if ever, fronts alone or considers themself much of a distinct person, due to most of their presumed personality traits getting split off to:
🪶 kes | 21(?) | they/them | host 🪶
the other half of the duo. got all the interests and the messy emotional landscape in the divorce. win some, lose some. regressor or ageslider or both, uncertain. basically the same brilliant mind that has always been behind the wander-wren brand <3 sam reich voice. i’ve been here the whole time :3
🪶 ezra | 19 | he/him | anger holder 🪶
also near-cohost, persecutor-turned-protector, default/max age listed but regularly slides all over the place. loud, mad, learning to person. pirate-coded and likes ofmd, alec benjamin, writing, and woodworking, at least in theory.
🪶 gabriel | 19 | he/him | protector 🪶
little protector, specifically. ezra’s twin, local cool guy and lover of life. surprisingly not all that great with kids or people in general, still learning. writes sometimes, huge fan of BNHA and dabi more specifically, also anything post-apocalyptic.
🪶 ash | he/it | protector 🪶
local creature-wolfdog, grizzled war vet-coded, just wants to collect stuff he likes and lay down in dark rooms. likes meeting people, but fairly formal and stiff. resident complainer. working on creating his own blog to cultivate his dark gothy aesthetic, will be linked here later. any “ooh edgy emo 13yo oc cringe” type jokes will not be tolerated by any of us, be respectful or die by my sword :3.
🪶 theo | 8 | he/him | little 🪶
stereotypical “normal” nerdy kid, think glasses and sweater vest. very friendly and excitable but also mature and serious and full of opinions. likes dogs but in more of an ideological way, has a particular fascination with corgis.
🪶 flora | ageless | she/her | caretaker 🪶
mother figure and possible fairy, gabriel’s coworker (the one who is actually good with kids). sweet and gentle, a bit shy, likes reading and hopefully other things we have yet to discover. has only slightly more emotional fortitude than the littles, which is not very much at all (hence, gabriel), so be niceys 💕
random other info
as a group, we generally share a memory stream connected to the front/body, which means we do not remember anything that happens in our inner world. we suspect there is a possibility of this changing in the future, but for now, we unfortunately don’t have any fun inner world anecdotes, but at least we don’t really have amnesia! that makes life easier.
so far, we are brainmade-only (no fictives or factives), but we do have oneee guy who’s a little fictive-flavored so we’ll see. only one of us so far has psuedomemories (ash) and he is happy to talk about his previous life if asked.
in general, all of us are open to questions, conversation, being tagged in things we’d like, etc. our tolerance for personal questions varies, but if we aren’t feeling up to it at the moment we will just wait until we are in the mood. pushy people get blocked. [checking to make sure your message got through is not pushy]
the syscourse :l
again, we have no plans to discourse on this blog and will more than likely block anyone who tries to stir up drama, but we do feel we need to make our stances known. we believe that all people should be taken in good faith on their identity, that community infighting is often overly petty and polarizing, and that we should always be open to broadening our understanding of the human experience.
we believe the future is plural and that the trials of systemhood can and should be acknowledged and discussed at the same time that we celebrate and appreciate multiplicity. we believe that no existence should be defined purely by suffering. we believe that psychiatry/psychology are important but flawed institutions that lag behind the communities they study and represent, and do not believe in taking their word as gospel.
thus, we do generally believe in the existence of endogenic systems and other forms of plurality not covered by the DSM. we also (since these things are frequently connected) extend support and compassion to paraphiles and are wary of, but open to, some radqueers. we will entertain discussions/discourse on the latter two points, when we feel like it, but we stand pretty firmly on our core principles and don’t see that changing anytime soon.
i don’t know how much i’m gonna talk about it because this is still my personal blog but i also Feel Bad. but anyway as part of my mission to be brave and open: been doing a lot of work this week with the closest thing we have to a persecutor. it’s been weird. especially because he’s very specifically a persecutor of me, with anyone else around just being collateral damage
dealing with….not a new part, but an old(ish) part that is finally ready to come forward and talk, and this is really NOT THE TIME, we’re busy, but also…i’m happy he is.
i’ve never considered myself an angry person, and i still don’t, at all—i can get angry, sure, i can be frustrated, and i do that much more now as an adult than i ever did as a kid. but i’m still not an angry person. but a lot of the others are angry. so that probably means something!
anyway. umm. i’m out of practice talking about the system. i want to but it’s hard and weird.
our new-old friend’s name is archer and he’s angry and hypervigilant and overwhelmed and doesn’t really know how to Chill The Fuck Out yet. say hi??
when a new guy forms due to copious amounts of work stress and in-system stuff but instead of having any traits related to that he’s just bringing back a bunch of our old anxiety things from 2023 that we were almost totally over?? sir?? brain?? i beg your fucking pardon??
there’s something actually really painful about ezra slowly starting to spend more and more time on the younger end of his age spectrum and also show more overt stereotypical….i hesitate to say “autistic” traits because i’m still not convinced we are, but, well…
a good amount of every single day this week there’s a verbally-shutdown seven year old standing next to me flapping his hands, and when he does take full front he struggles with reading and comprehension and noises and temperature and sometimes has to talk in emojis or gifs and really wants aac and bounces and rocks and gets angry and bites and throws things.
it’s a lot. he’s a lot. my sweet angel. i try not to think about the fact that he’s part of me, though, or that i’m reasonably certain he’s one of the oldest parts of me, or what it means that he’s so Much and so visibly loudly Different and…and different from me. different from nearly everything i remember about our life.
being a system is weird in that it gives you such a stark, literal look at parts of yourself, that is then frustrating because fuck, all the most crucial memories are the ones i don’t have. was i ever like that? someone would’ve said something if i was like that, right? if i wasn’t, why is he? is it worse if he exists as a literal repository of repressed traits or if he’s taken them on more recently as a metaphor for processing something else?
it makes him so happy. being that way. we discussed it last night. everything he does makes him SO happy and comfortable so it’s good it’s okay. we have a couple friends he trusts who have been really patient with his reading/language and it’s so very healing to see them make accommodations. i’m so happy for him. but…sometimes i feel like there’s something we should be mourning.
