#tactful

[howifeltabouthim]

I always knew the right way to deliver information. Everybody else did not.

Lisa Taddeo, from Animal

[sion-theundeadjuggernaut]

“I REST MY CASE.”

[gurguliare]

secretly Very excited for partizan i hope princept-apokine is an onscreen character and that austin, or someone, doesn’t succumb to the urge to make them a brainless sexy zealot 

[nopizzaaftermidnight]

[angelfccdie]

jeice: where’d that little shit goblin you an ginyu have come from anyway

whis:

whis: [squints]

whis: well, first, we had to go at it like rabbits in every location conceivable

[kingzale]

My rushed Obama drawing. Anyway, he's for sale. 💵 DM me for price and details. A great gift for housewarming or nostalgic people like me. 😂 Not open for commissions right now. Sorry. #obama #president44 #44thpresident #imisstgissmile #diplomatic #tactful #blackart #obamaart #obamadrawing https://www.instagram.com/p/BpX6gLigKNS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=13tx7pu90sgrr

[mbti-notes]

Do you have any advice for how to be more tactful? I've been told that I'm too direct, so I'm trying to figure out what part of my behavior I should change. What are some tactful phrases/expressions to use? I’ve been trying to observe people with good social skills and imitate the sort of language they use; however my facial expressions don’t match, so I worry that it comes across as stiff and ingenuine. (I'm a 19-year-old ISTJ).

What does it mean to be “tactful”? Why would someone be motivated to be tactful? Generally speaking, a person realizes the need to be tactful when they observe that the way in which one communicates can influence how the other person hears what is being said. Tactfulness in istjs usually has two main sources:

Te: E.g. “I want to convince the other person that what I say is correct, therefore, I must find the right words to ensure that they accept the facts I want to convey.”

Fi: E.g. “I know that what I’m about to say has the potential to be hurtful, therefore, I must find the right words to ensure that the message is communicated as sensitively as possible in order to minimize harm.”

Since it is the Feeling functions that are uniquely designed and therefore best suited to handling human affairs, it is always a good idea to listen to what that function has to say during communication.

When istjs are accused of being “too direct”, it is usually due to using Te without the input of Fi during communication - the result is often conflict/pushback because you just say whatever you want (perhaps believing that you’re being helpful) but without proper consideration for how those words will impact the other person psychologically (and then you wonder how you got into the drama).

When istjs seek out tactful phrases and expressions to imitate, it is usually due to Si and Te wanting a specific set of rules to follow that will guarantee success in achieving the communication goal - the result is often “fake” communication of the kind you describe.

When istjs seek to speak more tactfully because they care about the other person’s well-being and understand what it feels like to be hurt, it is usually due to having healthy and sensitive Fi that properly compensates for the rough and aggressive edges of Te - the result is that communication comes from a genuine place of love and care, which is more likely to yield a positive response in return.

Therefore, if you seek to be more “genuinely” tactful, get into the habit of asking yourself what your true motivation is when speaking (e.g. “Am I more interested in being seen as right or in being actually helpful?”). Get in touch with Fi whenever you find it to be lacking in your thought process (which requires Fi development). Doing this won’t guarantee you positive results because you can’t control how others react to what you say, but it will greatly increase the odds of things going smoothly. In other words, when you speak from the heart, the exact words don’t matter because the feeling will convey the message for you.

[therandomcolor]