#taking space

[unspokensuggestion]

take up space. take some more.

[freedominsidethebox]

Dear Diary,

My sister put together a little “cozy corner” in her room. It was meant to be a space she could meditate, do yoga, and take space. Well Monster has fallen in love with that corner. Today she went there to relax and ended up falling asleep.

11/6/18, Westminster, Co

[personsreality]

My Silence

Is there any power in my silence?

When confused and hurting words can no longer take what keeps being said...

This is what’s left of my control

But as I write so will you, your stanzas stand taller than mine and run through their audiences like velvet while mine remain like linen, meant to be replaced.

The lesson remains part of the earth like a dew drop on a shiny leaf, inevitable that it will fall.

Is there any power in my silence?

So what will come of this?

Hours pass as memories do and I’m finally left with the question, is there power in minutes too?

[thefeelingismultiplied]

Slowing Down

THE BACKSTORY: I experienced an overwhelming depression after Ember’s birth, feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the responsibility for a human being’s life: an especially vulnerable…

[space-snowflake-1]

I should use tumblr to write more, I forget I can write and it's my space and I can take space in my space.

[kitty-belladonna]

Something I am proud of now

I'm healing.

Slowly, but I'm healing.

I can regulate my emotions better.

I'm learning when to stop talking or interacting, before I spiral out of control.

I'm learning to not throw open a floodgate of emotions when the pain starts to grow.

I'm learning to take space when it all gets too much.

Because I'm starting to remember to realise, before it all happens, that its not worth it.

Its not worth the feeling of unnecessary guilt.

Its not worth the exhaustion and sleeplessness.

Its not worth the feeling of loneliness.

Its not worth the feeling of thinking you'll never deserve love while craving to be held.

Its not worth the hours of crying alone on a cold marble floor, when nobody even knows that you're crying, until you do tell them and feel guiltier.

I could just... step back.

I could just... not talk.

I could just turn off my phone and do something else.

Instead of feeling attacked over nothing.

Instead of hurting the one you love because you misread them and their intentions.

Instead of starting an argument when all I wanted was to feel loved and be reassured over something that nobody can convince me of.

[anastasiadarkwater]

🚩Trauma Talk and Self-Limiting Beliefs

By Anastasia Darkwater

I love my mother. She did the best she could with what she had. Today, I hold nothing but love and compassion in my heart for her, but in being raised by her, I picked up some self-limiting beliefs that I took in deeply.

The seeds of my self-limiting beliefs germinated as a result of her often repeated, kind of joking? phrases such as: "Children should be seen and not heard.", "Never have children because they are ungrateful and they ruin your life.", and her favorite saying if I asked for anything was "Want in one hand and shit in the other. See which fills up faster."

Hearing these phrases every day, one's brain starts to turn them into truths: don't be loud, only be present when you're needed/wanted, don't ask for anything, don't want anything, don't need anything, I'm ungrateful, I'm a burden, I ruined my mother's life because she was too scared to get another abortion.

I did my best to be unseen, unheard, and want nothing. I became self-sufficient, I needed no one, and I completely isolated myself from humanity.

Some things I learned: being unobserved or unheard is nearly impossible in the age of smart phones and the internet, and if I really think about it, privacy is a rather privileged thing to ask for or demand, in the sense that total privacy is really only available to the wealthy. The rest of us live amongst each other, sharing walls, sharing space, keeping ourselves small so we don't bother anyone else.

It's one way to live, but it doesn't bring happiness or freedom or peace. The secret really is in letting go. Giving in. Taking up space. And that takes me to some fear.

The fear for me is not wanting to bother others (be a burden). What if what I'm doing is disturbing someone who I can't even see?

I dislike being disturbed by others. I feel so helpless in wishing they would stop doing some annoying thing. Can't they understand they are affecting others??

While I simultaneously believe everyone has a right to do their thing, and I'm awful for being annoyed at them. What a paradox!

I don't have the answer on which is right, to be silent and never risk annoying each other or to freely express to our heart's content. Both are valid, and it depends on the context. It's a debate for another day.

All this rambling is to show, by way of my personal example, that fears can be overcome, and if a fear of being heard is something you struggle with, you are safe in this group. Here, we invite and encourage you to discover and explore your voice. True joy, bliss, and calm are just one shrutibox session away!

Let the vibration of your voice reawaken you to your body! Come sing with us!

Ps: You don't have to sing to attend a Sound & Shadow Ceremony! ❤