hi there, A have an extreme fear of death. Most of the time I can ignore it but sometimes the fact that I'm going to die no matter what comes back to me and I completely panic (this almost always happens at night) I feel terrified and can't calm down.. after these episodes it takes me a long while to stop thinking about the death of loved ones and my own. I'm already an anxious person and this is making me feel scared of going to sleep. I can't cope with the idea of not existing.
I am sorry to hear that you are having to deal with this, I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. Hopefully I’ll be able to give you a little helpful advice and reassurance <3
I just want to start by saying that you are not alone in this, lovely! The fear of dying is is actually quite common; it is something often people diagnosed with anxiety may experience, but it can also be a phobia in itself. ‘’While some people fear it more than others, there is some degree of fear that is actually healthy. If you didn’t fear death, you may put yourself in many significant dangers.’’ (source) I find this quote quite reassuring and try to apply it to a lot of my anxiety triggers - you are not weird or wrong for having this fear, everyone does to some extent, but from what you have described I think this is something that has gone past a fear and maybe we need to look at.
Have you considered talking to a professional about this, lovely? You could start by going to a doctor and talking it through with them; they may then be able to refer you on for some specialist treatment such as talking therapy. This form of therapy can be super useful for anxiety and phobias because your therapist can help you to understand where the fear is coming from and help you develop some effective coping mechanisms. Here is our page about getting help if this is something you would be interested in looking into.
There are some techniques that you may want to try to start helping yourself cope with your panic attacks. Here are links to our self-help and calming down pages. Grounding techniques may also be useful for when your thoughts are escaping you and panic is taking control. I recommend something physical like running your hands under ice cold water, but you could try something non-physical like saying the alphabet forwards and then backwards slowly; these techniques help to bring your thoughts back to reality and away from some of the bad things you might be thinking.
Specifically relating to your anxiety about death, I think it is really important to try and make the most out of your life - do more of what you love, try new things, make new experiences. Often our anxieties can stop us from fulfilling dreams and ambitions, but I think especially in the case of death anxiety, it is really important to challenge the negative thoughts and instead make the most exciting life you can! And, although this is something you already know, it may be helpful to hear it from someone else - death is the one inevitable thing that everyone has in common; life and death. It will come to us, and although that is really scary, it can also help us to appreciate the life we are currently getting to live.
I hope this has been of some use to you, lovely. If there is anything else that we can do for you, then please don’t hesitate to get back in touch! Take care,
