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I hate those moments when I realise I don’t actually live in the world inside my head.
A Lord & A Lady: Part 6
for @blooming-violets
TASM!Peter Parker x (fem)Reader - Bridgerton AU
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven
Warnings: kidnapping, angst, tears, fighting
Summary: Will Peter Parker find his fiancé in time?
—
Peter’s heart races, drumming loudly against his chest as his panicked brown eyes warily scan over the ransom note in his white-knuckled clutch. His stomach turns as he rereads the words written on the paper.
The Captor threatened a brutal death for the Duchess if they were not to receive a handsome sum of money by dawn.
Peter’s chest rises and falls, a tidal wave of rage washes over him as he crumples the paper in his shaking fist, letting it drop to the ground. He glances towards the ballroom, searching the sea of faces for his beloved Bluebell to no avail.
However, Peter’s weepy eyes did meet Anthony Bridgerton’s inquisitive gaze from across the bustling ballroom floor. The Viscount’s brows lace together - his eyes locked in on Peter. Anthony immediately pauses his waltz, giving Kate a chaste kiss on the cheek before leaving her behind on the dance floor as he stalks towards Peter.
Benedict sits down his drink, following closely behind his brother, dodging dancing debutants and Mamas to get to his friend.
THE APARTMENT WE WON'T SHARE
peter parker x reader
cw: post-nwh, angst no comfort, in this universe everyone forgets tasm!peter, everyone including his own partner. inspired by the song of the title.
it's peter's first christmas alone. he's undoubtedly sad, it would be heartbreaking for you to see him like this, thankfully you will never get the chance to. that's what peter thinks, he's grateful for that. that you will never have to see him in the condition he's always in ever again.
a part of him wants to meet again. to suddenly bump into each other on the subway, to accidentally grab the same book in the library— he hopes to feel the spark again. to see your eyes flicker in familiarity. a sense of déjà vu. as if in another timeline, you were meant to be.
it was supposed to be this timeline. he's supposed to be in your arms right now, opening presents together. he's supposed to give you a gift he's been saving for all year. a perfect present. now it sits, collecting dust on the corner of his room.
he's tried his best to come to terms with it. but gosh, it hurts. he's been on a new date, a couple dates, actually. but he stopped after the third one. he realized that he was trying to find you in every person he meets. nobody can compete, he couldn't find the spark. no eyes shined like yours, no personality was as big as yours, no lashes fluttered like yours. no one was you. he wanted you, not someone like you.
he came close though. to you.
in a café, it was you and peter's spot. he believes that you were there because an essence of him still lingers. that's what he tells himself. you were in your favorite sweater, your hair was beautiful, neat like always. you held your usual order. before peter leaves he saw something, something that reassured him this was for the best.
you were with someone else.
he was hoping to catch you glance at him, or for you to notice him, even if it meant just for a second. but you didn't. your smile was so wide, you laughed at a joke. a joke peter thought he would make. and then you left. stepping out of the café and out of his life. to make it worse. with someone new.
every time he patrols he always hopes to see you. he thinks this is just pure madness, obsession. but he also thinks that this is him genuinely missing you, not being able to move on from someone who is perfect. his life was near perfection with you. his heart is unable to do continue without you, he's trying.
and on christmas, today, he saw you. in apartment building, the moonlight highlighted you, as if it was a cruel reminder from the universe that he will never see that light in his life ever again. he was so focused he tripped on the edge of rooftop.
as he caught his feet, he thought this was a christmas miracle, but then he realized,
it was the same apartment building you two toured together. you gave an idea to peter that the two of you should share an apartment. to have a place of your own, you've always wanted that. peter wanted to, but you were the most excited about it. to have a roommate that is also your boyfriend.
now you stayed there. with no peter. he speculated that you gave the same idea, just to another person. the christmas tree was glowing, the lights were sparkly, you exchanged gifts, and peter finally accepts the fact that he was never really in your life.
the dates you two went; the rooftop parties, the bookstore-reading days, movie nights, the trips to europe that never happened— all never truly existed. maybe not to you, but only to peter. the promises, his photographs, all poof! gone.
it's been a year. it feels so empty. colder than usual.
you seemed warm. he knows it. now you sit, at the apartment you will never share with peter. he swings away, the mask is suffocating. he comes back to his apartment. it's cold, unfurnished. only a simple bed, table, and a chair. he was never good at interior work. however you were. you were great.
what lies on his table is cold takeaway, one fork— he doesn't know where the spoon went, coffee he left untouched, and one single polaroid of you, a clear one, where you were still very seen. the one he took when he fought his old enemies with his brothers. the rest were gone, well.. not really. it was just oddly faded. a silhouette of you is there, but it was just the presence of your absence.
peter kept everything. how unfortunate. he wanted to call, to reach out first, but never did. he shouldn't. there was no one to talk about this to, no one. he thinks that before reaching out, he should come to terms with it. fully.
he wishes you a merry christmas. he hopes you get the message. heart to heart. he hopes there's still a small chance.
a/n: should i make this a mini series?
The Consequences of Being Spiderman
Summary: "I don't think I've ever heard you lie" + You and Peter have been dating for a while but what happens when he keeps making excuses and pushes away from you? aka he forgets your anniversary because he was too busy being spiderman angst
A/N: I've never written angst without a happy ending before so this was very interesting! Please let me know your thoughts. < 3!
It started small. Leaving earlier from movie nights and just saying “Hi” as he ran past you on campus instead of giving you a hug before his next class. You brushed it off mostly, it was understandable. Finals week was coming up and you knew some of Peter’s teachers were notorious for being difficult.
Then it got bigger. Suddenly he was canceling dates at the last minute and it seemed as if he was actively avoiding you on campus. Anytime you tried to reach out or ask what was wrong Peter just brushed you off. “Everything is fine,” he’d tell you before racing off to deal with what he’ll later tell you was the umpteenth time he forgot his pencil case in the science building. Funny considering you can always see it in his backpack—the heart charm you gave to him when you first started still dangling from the zipper—as it hangs from where Peter always forgets to zipper up his bag.
It was fine, you would tell yourself. As couples got more comfortable it makes sense that things would change. Honeymoon phase and all am I right?
The straw that broke the camel's back was your six month anniversary dinner.
You had gotten all dolled up excited at the prospect of finally being able to spend some time with Peter. You had on your cutest heels and a pretty red dress. The one that you saw made Peter’s gaze linger a little longer whenever you wore it out.
The reservation was for 7:30 but you wanted to be a little early and got there at 7:15. You checked yourself in and waited for Peter to show up.
At 7:30 you reapplied your lipstick and they called your name.
You check your phone after ordering some water. The numbers 7:45 glaring at you from your screen.
The waitress gave you a pitying smile as she refilled your lone glass of water. Your phone now reads eight o’clock and you can feel pinpricks of tears at the corner of your eyes.
At 8:30 you're asked to leave the table and leave. By nine you're sitting on the subway with smudged mascara and a broken heart.
You slam your apartment door and slide onto the floor finally letting yourself cry. After a while you make your way into the bedroom. Without enough energy to change you flop yourself onto the bed seeking the comfort of your blanket and pillows. The cute heels you’d been wearing all night have left red marks on your heels and you fall asleep feeling like an idiot.
Peter walks into your apartment after a pretty successful patrol. Saved a cat from a tree, helped an old lady with groceries, the works.
He grimaces at the time lightly dropping his bag near the door. 11pm you were probably asleep already but he hopes he can get some cuddles in. Being Spiderman was always very tiring no matter how good it made him feel to protect the people of New York City.
Finally relaxing into the comfort of home he turns to grab some water right next to the calendar. The calendar where today’s date was circled in red, bold words of 6 months!! Covering the square. . He remembers smiling as you drew the little hearts around it while he made a reservation at the nicest restaurant he could afford.
Shit.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
He rushes to check his phone hoping somehow the calendar was wrong. But no, it flashed the date back to him. Taunting him with his own notification and the texts from you.
Creeping into your shared bedroom he peers in and sees you sleeping. Shit you were so gorgeous. In his favorite dress with your hair clearly having been done up before. As he walks closer he sees the red on your heels and the smudged make up on your face. Delicately he moves the hair out of your face and takes your shoes off the bed.
You shift at the movement and open your eyes.
“...Peter?”
“Hey love it’s me. I’m sorry I missed our date”
“I waited” You sniffle “for so long”
“I know. I know. I’m so sorry, love.” He pleads, reaching out to your face. “I just… I had something to do.”
You scooch backwards fully up now.
“That’s it though isn’t it. Always something to do Peter. Somewhere to be that isn't near me.” You start to stand up and head out into the hallway. “I can’t do this anymore Peter. I can’t keep trying and trying to connect with you when you obviously don’t want me here”
You make it all the way to the door and slip on your shoes before Peter catches up. He nearly trips on his own feet to get to you after processing what you said.
“Babe, wait!” He tries to reach out to you but you take a step back. “Please! Baby, I love you.”
You laugh and choke back a sob.
“You know I don’t think I’ve ever heard you lie”
You storm out the door leaving Peter with a backpack filled with his spiderman suit and a small pencil case with heart on the zipper behind.
Shit. He really messed up this time didn’t he.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading!!! Comments and reblogs are appreciated! < 33
just horrifically bombed a math test so… peter comforting reader after failing a test but accidentally making her feel really stupid?
don't worry bestie, as somone several years out of high school, and a college dropout, grades really don't matter in the grand sceme of things. my testing has never once affected my life, but me (and peter) believe in you!
“C’mon, gimme a kiss.”
Normally kissing Peter Parker would snap you out of any kind of upsetting mood, however today nothing felt like it could get you out of your funk, and nothing could; not even the escape of sighing into your boyfriend's mouth.
You also weren’t one to turn down a kiss, so when he pressed a kiss to your mouth upside down, your head laying on his lap, his neck bent to kiss you, you still enjoyed it but it couldn’t wipe the frown from your mouth.
“Not even a Peter kiss can help? You must be really upset.”
You give him a big frown, his thumb rubs between your eyebrows.
“Tell me, baby.” His words are a whisper.
With a groan you sit up and stretch over the bed to grab your backpack, Peter takes this time to appreciate the view and smack down your ass, you whimper a ‘heyy,’ before grabbing a paper and shuffling back to him.
“Here, look at my failures and dump the dummy.”
Peter snatched the paper with a grumpy face, a sympathetic frown takes front when he sees the grade circled on top.
“Oh, baby.”
You take it as patronizing.
You rip the paper from his hands, it tears at the edges. “Nevermind, Peter. My fault for thinking you would have some form of sympathy, I forgot I was talking to the genius of Midtown.” Peter’s hands chase you, frantic, “No, no, no! I wasn’t being mean, baby! I swear I wasn’t being mean, c’mere, lemme see it.” You look him up and down wearily, he seems authentic, you hand it over one more time.
Can I add on to the Suicidal Peter thing? I feel like that would cause so much stress for reader? Like her hair would be going gray and maybe she faints from exhaustion because she's staying up all night making sure Peter wouldn't try to off himself again? Would he notice that she's extra clingy because she's that nervous of him being alone with his thoughts and whatnot? Maybe she wouldn't tell him because she doesn't want him to feel any more guilt that he already has? Sorry if that was alot, just thinking about how that would be for his girlfriend
Trigger Warnings: This is all about suicidal ideation, self harm, and losing yourself to take care of someone who is suicidal. Includes panic attacks, severe weight loss from lack of eating due to anxiety, mentions of blood and cutting, attempted suicide on top of a building. It's a suicide/depression/self harm/broken lovers fic. Be careful if those topics are difficult for you<3
Reminder: This is a depiction of an extremely toxic relationship. It is not cute or healthy or something to strive for. Just, like, as an fyi. Don't do it. Stop. Not healthy. No. Not even for Peter Parker. Don't do it. Stop it right now. Never get on a ledge for a man wtf are you doing.
I think she would be in a state of constant hyper vigilance and high anxiety. He would take over all her thoughts until she can't function anymore. Never eating. Not able to work. Doesn't even want to take a shower because she's afraid of having him out of her sight. Not wanting to sleep.
God forbid she wakes up in middle of the night and he's not in bed, she'd be thrown straight into a panic attack. There's been times when he's woken up to go to the bathroom and returned back to find her hyperventilating on the floor.
Peter dried his wet hands on his boxers as he turned off the sink. His eyes were squinted closed, still half asleep, and he shuffled out of the bathroom. He had no idea what time it was and he didn't care to turn on any bright lights to find the clock. He rubbed his fingers through his shaggy hair and let out a quiet yawn, fumbling with their bedroom door handle to push himself back inside.
A dull flurry of tingles ran up his spine as his hand grasped the knob.
Spider-senses. They weren't super intense or threatening but they let him know that someone was crouched behind the door. He knew it was her and not a threat. His senses always felt dulled down when she was around. His ears perked up to listen to her quiet, muffled sobs.
p.p (tasm) dialogues
— BREAK ME LIKE A PROMISE
pairing: peter parker x fem!reader.
warnings: just pure angst, no happy ending.
gwen’s thoughts: i’m a real whore for angst so this will be very angsty. also partly based on all too well by taylor swift. you can picture any peter parker you want but i wrote this thinking of andrew’s peter.
you stared at the door as if doing that peter magically would appear, wearing his beautiful smile and lighting the room with his presence.
but peter doesn’t show up.
you wait and wait and wait, getting pity looks from your dad and the few friends you invited to your birthday party that know about your relationship with peter.
he knew today was going to be a special day. he promised you today you finally were going to go public. and you believed him as you always do.
for the first time in the night you stop looking at the door. tears in your eyes and a knot in your stomach as you prepare yourself to face the truth.
a hand on your shoulder makes you look up from your lap. “i’m sorry.” one of peter’s best friends is looking at you ashamed. as if this is any of his fault. “don’t know what happened but i spoke with him yesterday and he was very excited for this.”
“yeah, well, where is he then?” you get up from the chair you’re currently sitting on, drawing everyone’s attention. “thank you all for coming, it was a lovely evening. but i’m really tired and need to sleep.”
you know you’re being rude but you’re going to be sick if you stay there any longer, pretending everything’s fine while your heart is being crushed more and more every passing minute.
it’s only when you’re in the safety of your room that you let the tears fall.
what were you thinking giving peter another chance? this wasn’t the first, or the second, or the third one. peter parker has let you down more times than you can count. and every time he gets on his knees to apologize you say it’s going to be the last time. but it never is.
peter with his charm, his beautiful and bright smile, and his soft words knows how to make you fall for his lies again. and he just keeps getting better at them.
curled up on the floor you start thinking of the peter you fell in love with. the shy and cute peter parker who went to a pottery class just to give you a mug made by himself for your first anniversary. that peter parker would never to the things this new version has done to you.
