#tbb crack

[i-eat-dirt-10]

Im far too mentally unstable to draw sad fanart, so enjoy some bad batch shenanigans instead ✨✨🫴

[leos-multifandom-corner]

Y'all portray Omega as the sweetest little perfect angel

Y'all ain't ready for when she goes crackhead mode

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Hemlock: *evil monologuing* and I will- OW MY FUCKING KNEES!

Omega: GET CROWBARRED BITCH! Thanks for the crowbar, Emerie.

Hemlock: DR. KARR, WHAT THE FUCK?!

Emerie: I don't know, I'm bored.

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Omega, to Rampart: And if you EVER come in here again, with a GOD DAMN opinion, I will shove it so far up your ass, you'll never see the light of day again!

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Omega: Open the door, or I'm gonna... throw rocks through your window, you dumb who-

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Omega: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it. I now have to be physically restrained from putting a light bulb in my mouth.

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Omega: My expectations were low but holy fuck.

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Omega: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

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Omega: “Struggle with depression” would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.

Hunter: Omega, do you need therapy?

Omega: Yes.

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Omega: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?

Crosshair: wHat?

Omega: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Crosshair: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

-

[rendomski]

Crosshair, glaring at Hunter: Here comes our slutty brother, intent on fucking half of the GAR.

Tech: Why, what's wrong with the other half?

[arctrooper69]

If It's Cracked.... Don't Fix It

A crack fic because I tried to write an angst but I got too sad.... The pain will come later. I promise

Hello! My name is Ivory Lily White Rose Flower Princess and I'm a Jedi with my clone boyfriend Hunter. Well, actually they're all kind of my boyfriends and we all love each other equally. My parents named me Ivory because their favorite name Ebony was already taken by some other weirdo. My middle name is Lily White because of the beautiful long flowing white hair cascading down my back that is as white as a snowy white loth wolf. My parents gave me away to the Jedi. My parents are also dead.

One day, me and the bad batch (who were all my boyfriends) were planning the most daring rescue EVER. Hunter of course kissed me before we left the Marauder. And then Wrecker did too and so djd Tcich and Echo! Their lips were so warm and soft. Except for Echo on account if him being mostly made of droid. But I was still in love with him even though sometimes his metal dongle made it really hard to have the sex (which I had with all of them daily).

But anyway, out spirits were low. Crosshair was still missing. I was partly sad about him because he was my boyfriend once but then he betrayed me like he betrayed the Jedi who were my family (but not my real family because they were dead). We were finally going to rescue Crosshair from the Empire!

We had to be very quiet as we snuck into the large black building that housed most of the Empire's important people but then suddenly the train we were on collapsed and I screamed in agony as my lover Tech fell out of the train. He wasn't dead! Nope. He wasn't dead at all because I could feel it in my heart and the Force told me that he was still alive. I could feel him being alive still. I told this to Hunter but he would not believe me! He told me to stop feeling in the force because it was not real! That made me angry. I did not kiss Hunter that day.

Then finally we were inside the prison where the Empire kept it's secret silence expiraments! Horror filled my souls when I realized that that evil Dr was using the clones for his own evil science pants!

I grabbed Omega by using the Force and Hunter (who was now not angry at me anymore) got Crosshair out of his chains.

Tech ran up to us because he was not dead. The Force had heald his injuries from falling. (And it turned out that he fell directly into a bacta tank that I had somehow brought to him by using the Force. I really don't know how I did that because I had never really been a Jedi that could use the Force very well. I always seemed to get into trouble with Yoda for being defective and the younglings used to laugh at me and call me names. That is why I so quickly became part of the bad batch because they too knew how it felt.

So Hunter and Tech helped out Crosshair while I held Omega in my arms. She was crying.

"Hey!" I yelled loudly at Dr Hemlock.

"WHAT!?" he shouted in confusing as he turned around in anger.

Then I looked him in the eyes and shot him in the face with my lightsaber gun that Tech made me. I was very glad that he was not dead and that I had saved him. His soft lips and ample bottom did not deserve such a death.

Everyone then smiled and clapped because me and the bad batch had once again saved the day and Crosshair was ok and Omega was okay. And Tech was not dead.

THE END

a/n: I'm not ok, please help 😂😅🫤🥹😭😭😭

a/n: also I've never written crack before so don't get mad at me pls 😂 I swear this isn't normally how I write 😂😂

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@zoeykallus @ttzamara @nahoney22 @merkitty49 @viva-la-whump @agenteliix @dumpsters-little-matchbook @nekotaetae @ladykatakuri @loverofclones @heyitsaloy @padawancat97 @jambolska-grozdova @flyingkangaroo @melymigo @rain-on-kamino @jiabeewrites @my-own-oracle @dragonrider9905 @queenofspades6 @ordinarylokix @jupitersaturnapollo @queencousland101 @vampirerouge @southernbaguette @staycalmandhugaclone @dalu-grantkylo @dangraccoon @aconstructofamind

If you want to be on my taglist, feel free to send me a message! Also, asks are open! Reblogging is very much encouraged and it makes me do a happy dance every time any of my writing gets reblogged 😂❤️

[lazinesswrites]

Random crack-y idea: ‘modern’ AU where the Batch all live together and Omega goes to school or whatever, and one day she comes home from one of those ‘let’s all collect trash in nature!’-field days or whatever, and she’s all excited, telling her brothers all about it, as she does every time she gets excited about anything (which is all the time; she still had a very sheltered childhood before joining the Batch) and it’s all fun and games. Until she notices Crosshair just flicking his toothpicks away wherever for dramatic effect when he’s done with them.

Omega just learned everything about why you should not litter on the street/in nature, and Stars, so will Crosshair.

[moonstrider9904]

Memes that bake muffins for Crosshair

Took a shot at making another meme compilation and I'm kind of nervous, I hope you'll all find this funny uwu

I'm also wheezing at the thumbnail, btw

[illustrator-dani]

The Bad Batch but give them dresses so that they’re like Disney princesses but better

[sleepy-tog]

Bad Batch headcanons:

Cursing (SFW)

Hunter:

Curses under his breath when mildly frustrated

Tries to stop when Omega joins

Does an okay job

When he gets super mad he goes dead silent, something about controlling himself when everything else is out of control

Doesn’t mind when the boys curse, but would prefer to keep Omega away from it as long as he can

Tech:

“Doesn’t need curse words” to get his point across

Is not-so-secretly the worst of the group when he gets angry

Will drop F-bomb combos that would make Maul blush

Never stutters when he’s pissed to the point of cursing

Curses in other languages thinking his brothers won’t know he’s cursing still

Normally it’s during a mission and he blows it off as mission related stress (read: it’s all of his stress)

Agrees that Omega should be kept away from cursing as long as is reasonable but knows it’ll happen eventually

Wrecker:

Curse words? Who’s she?

Appreciates good jokes with curse words but feels weird telling them

When his brothers curse he gets a spike of anxiety, especially if it’s directed at him

Fart/poop joke king (it’s as close as he comes to proper swearing)

When he sees Echo trying to shoo Omega from the room for curse words usually leaves with her for company

Crosshair:

Drops curses into every sentence he can, when he talks

His style humor goes well with vulgar curses

Will mix in some very creative curses and curse combos just to work his brothers up

Comes in handy when they need someone to shit talk their way through a cantina, his language fits right in

Still isn’t too sure about Omega but bonds with her by translating some of Tech’s outbursts (and Tech can’t figure out how she knows)

Echo:

What can I say he’s the mom, but a tired wine mom

He tries to keep it professional, being the oldest in the group

But he’s an ARC, cursing is almost required during training (proves you’re hurting enough during training)

Will try to cover Omega’s ears or remove her from the room if he senses too much foul language inbound

He himself curses under his breath almost exclusively, but blew up once on a mission over comms at the batch about something (they respected him much more after that)

Omega:

Regardless of the batch’s efforts, knows every curse word in the book

Knows Kaminoan curses but refuses to share

Doesn’t actually use them, but sprinkled a “shit” in after a project began falling apart in her hands (Tech was too amused / busy trying to help to notice and be concerned)

Hunter heard her laughing after one of Tech’s outbursts over comms and was horrified to realize she understood the Huttese phrase (he talked with Tech after, who also had no idea how she knew)

When she’s older with the batch (mid to late teens) she takes after Tech the most with swearing when in high-stress situations, but when she’s pissed will be deathly silent like Hunter