request from @pxytn-png! lovely idea btw, and also thank you for being the reason i fixed my anon issue lmao thanks for bringing that to my attention mate :) ty for the ask!
quick disclaimer before we start here: i am not trans ftm, so i cannot speak for the community and i hope i am not poorly representing all of you bois! y’all are literally so fucking valid tho like the MOST valid i sWEAR dudes, deadass. if there’s something i need to educate myself on, my inbox and dms are ALWAYS open, so please feel free to interact!
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- when you came up to him one day in a cold sweat with uneven breaths, Techno immediately knew something was up. he immediately asked you what was wrong, ready to go murder whoever he had to for you, and the voices were going CRAZY with their theories and stress and worry for you
- you told him you had something to tell him, and he internally freaked out because the dumbass thought you were going to leave him or something or say you didn’t love him anymore
- blame the voices tho! they stress him out and make him overthink everything more than he already would!
- once you came out in your way of choice, he was so relieved that you didn’t come to tell him you hated him
- and he was also so flattered and felt so loved that you felt secure enough to be more of your true self around him! the voices were flattered and happy too!
- “so, you’re a man, huh?” “yeah...” he looked at you for a moment before grinning widely, pulling you into the PHATTEST fuckin hug. “trust me, he/him just suits you better, it’s more you.”
- the voices most certainly agree! after all, it was the true you, it was what made you feel more comfortable in your own skin.
- as he started working on your pronoun change, the voices helped out quite a lot. if he even so much as got close to even thinking the slip-up of the wrong pronouns, the voices were fuckin ON IT man. he learned pretty quickly, wanted to make you the most comfortable he could!
- every time he said ‘he’ or ‘him’ in reference to you, he couldn’t help but smile. it just reminded him that you felt secure enough to be your true self around him and that you trusted him enough to come out to him
- although he had to admit, it did lead to a little bit of confusion
- “so, that makes me... gay? or wait... well either way, i know i’m attracted to dudes obviously...”
- “do i tell Philza that i’m gay now or do i wait until Y/n decides to open up to him about himself?”
- lowkey steals clothing from other guys around the smp so you can dress more masculine if you want to. he’d offer up some of his own clothes, but he is like a seven-foot-tall fuckin piglin hybrid, massive boi, so he wasn’t sure how well his clothes would fit you
- unless you yourself are a massive boi as well, in that case he’s fine with sharing some clothes! i mean, he’d be fine with sharing either way, but like he was a firm believer in wearing clothes that fit properly so one wouldn’t have even the slightest limitation in mobility for battle
- but if he got the opportunity to see one of his large shirts draped on his boyfriend, he might just have a heart attack
- would also have a heart attack seeing his boyfriend fitting into his shirt well and just like b r o
- deadass would die on the spot either way, he loves you so much bro like oasijgadsoigj
- blood god is soft for his boyfriend! so soft!
- would never admit it out loud, but the voices know and never let him forget how much of a sap he is for you
- would help you try various things to cope with any dysphoria you might be having, like deadass mans would go to hell and back to get you anything that would make you more comfortable in your own skin. anything safe for you, that is, he wanted to make sure you weren’t hurting yourself
- s i m p, he’s a simp your honour, s to the i to the m to the p
- overall, having you come out to him and having a boyfriend now took a little bit of getting used to but it was an amazing change (the word ‘change’ used lightly, because it wasn’t even much of a change at all. just a pronoun change bro, you’ve always been a man, the only change was that you felt secure enough with techno to tell him ^^)
- not only were you more yourself, but he got to know you that much more, and when you’re your true self around him is when he just falls in love with you more and more each day <3
Warning(s): cursing, mentions of a toxic household and bad memories
Word Count: 2.07k
summary: Technoblade figures out that his lover isn’t quite as happy as it seems. but such is life, and he’s here to do what he can to change that.
request from a lovely anon! apologies that this took so long to post my dude, but here it is ^^ i hope you enjoy!
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Technoblade first knew that something was wrong when he wasn’t immediately greeted with a peppy ‘hello!’ upon entering your shared home. Your smiling face was almost always the first thing he got to see upon returning home from whatever hard work he would be doing that day. The atmosphere was… off. Usually when he came home, that was when he got to dump his gear by the door and sit with his wonderful lover by the fire and just relax; but this time he was tense and on his guard, worried that something had happened. The voices were going crazy, theorizing on what horrible negative things could have happened to you, and it flooded his system with fear and anxiety. There were a few trying to reassure him, sure, but those were few and far inbetween.
He slowly and silently closed the door behind him, not wanting to alert any possible enemy that could’ve found their way into the home, and he slowly set his bag down on the floor. He raised his massive battle axe, sniffing the air deeply in search of the scent of blood. Nothing out of the ordinary. He sighed quietly in relief, and relaxed at least a little. He sniffed the air again, and smiled lightly upon getting your scent; it was strong enough for him to know that you were still there and that you hadn’t been taken or kidnapped. He relaxed a little more, and the silence of your home no longer gave him as much anxiety.
Well, silent until Technoblade heard the sniffling coming from the room that the two of you shared.
The sniffles were soft, as were your cries, but you were certainly sobbing; that much was obvious. Technoblade felt a painful tug at his heart, and the voices flooded in with concerns and suggestions. The majority of them were telling him to go to you, to rush by your side and pull you into his arms and find out what was wrong.
You were never sad- well, not outwardly, anyways. Everyone had their emotions, but somehow you always managed to show your positivity and your smile and love towards everyone. No matter how horrible the situation, no matter how intense the pain, you always pushed through with a smile on your face and a sweet energy around you.
Of course, now that Technoblade thought about it, even the most happy person in the world needed their moments to break down and to let it all out. This thought made the voices go wild, and a certain pain tugged at his chest. Did you not trust him enough to be vulnerable around him? Did you not think he would love you even when you were sad? Did he make you sad?
He squeezed his eyes shut, pushing the thoughts away with determination. No. They trust me, they trust me! Shut up! It’s wrong to make it about me and assume that there's a lack of trust! Emotions are hard to deal with, dammit! His mental battle with the voices just made him angry, and he didn’t have time for that right now; right now, the only thing he had time for was comforting the love of his life.
“Y/n?” he called out, moving to stand outside the bedroom door, and he cocked a brow when he heard you gasp and curse under your breath.
“Y-Yeah?” you called in return, voice shaky and cracking. Even if he hadn’t heard you cry, he would’ve been able to tell just from your tone of voice alone; it sounded like you had just rubbed sandpaper all along your throat, and yet you still thought it would fool him into thinking you were fine.
Without hesitation, he dropped his battle axe to the floor, the loud clatter of metal meeting wood startling you and causing you to jump under the covers. He opened the door and rapidly entered the room, eyes scanning for you. Once he found the lump under the covers that was you, he smiled, and the voices seemed to slow down and calm down a little. He walked over to the bed, sitting beside you. His smile curled into a smirk, and he gently knocked his fist against the blanket where your hip was. “May I come in?” he asked.
“Uh… no one’s h-home?” you said, sniffling a little at the end. Technoblade laughed lightly, grabbing the covers anyways and pulling them off of you. He noticed you were curled up on your side, hugging a pillow that was now soaked with your tears. His eyes went wide, and he frowned. His Y/n, his Darling, you had been sobbing so much… what the hell could have happened to you that made you so upset?
He took a moment to pull off his armor, and you slowly sat up, sniffling and wiping away the tears sitting on your lashes. Once he had ripped off the last shin brace, he wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you and pulling you atop his lap. You straddled his legs to face him, and he pulled you as close as he could. You buried your face in his chest while he cradled your head with a hand, softly petting your hair and using the other to rub small and soothing circles between your shoulder blades.
Technoblade only spoke when he felt your breathing and heart rate slow. “What’s wrong, Darlin’?” he asked softly, wanting desperately to know what had happened to the one he loved so dearly. Your breath hitched for a moment in somewhat of a half-gasp, and he squeezed you tighter. “Hey, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he said, hoping it would make you feel a bit better. “You don’t need to feel pressured to explain yourself Darlin’. Just know that I’m here for you and I will never judge you or think negatively of you.”
Your eyes teared up with his sweet words, and you sighed, pushing yourself up against his chest and cuddling into his warmth. “I…” you began, but stopped with another sigh. “I feel dumb freaking out over this, it’s been years…” Before you could continue, you felt a hand grab your chin, and Technoblade was pulling your face up to make you look at him.
“Look at me,” he said sternly, “look at me and listen. It doesn’t matter how long ago something happens, if it affects you it affects you and you can’t control that.” He smiled sweetly at you, and leaned down to press a soft kiss upon your lips. You smiled into the kiss, butterflies flying through your stomach. No matter how many times you kissed your lover, it was still such a rush. He pulled away from the kiss, and cradled your head into his chest. “Now, tell me what’s wrong, Darlin’,” he said, slowly starting to pet your head.
You took a deep breath, and began to explain; you explained everything.
How you grew up in a broken home, struggling in a household that never understood you or cared to understand; a household that equalled your life’s worth with your academics; a household that never seemed to be proud of anything you did; a household that only ever yelled at you and demanded things from you; a household that tore you down and made you feel worthless and unloved. You used to live every day feeling like garbage, feeling like you were never enough and like you were never going to be enough. No matter how hard you tried, it only seemed to be in vain.
Your family members only ever seemed to care about the chores you did and what you had cleaned that day. They never gave a shit about what you’ve accomplished; no matter how impressive the achievement, it might as well have been nothing in the eyes of those you lived with. When you didn’t clean something right and when you didn’t know how to do it, you were mercilessly mocked by the adults who were supposed to teach you what to do and how to do it.
You were left alone growing up. No one ever played with you or wanted to, and for the longest time the only company you had was your own thoughts that were plagued with negativity. You felt like you were going insane, every damn day was just a repeat of the same bullshit and the same emotional manipulation and the same fucking negative thoughts.
As you got older, your solution to this issue was to just ignore it. To bottle it up, put on a happy face, and pretend that nothing ever got to you. When you were finally an adult and old enough to leave, you left the first chance you got; you were out of that house, dammit, no looking back. And for a while, things seemed to look up a little. Because of the constantly happy and peppy face you put on, you were able to make friends quickly.
You had met Technoblade through one of these friends, actually - you had Phil to thank for your relationship with the Piglin hybrid.
Although you finally had gotten these relationships with people and were finally surrounded by others who didn’t want to constantly tear you down, you were still broken and hurt inside. Any time you were left alone for too long, alone with your thoughts for an extended amount of time… it was unbearable. Tonight was one of these nights, actually. Technoblade was gone for longer than he had ever been since the two of you had moved in together, and you didn’t know how to handle it. You couldn’t help but remember all of those lonely nights and days when you were younger, all those hours of pain and misery, and you just collapsed in on yourself emotionally.
Upon hearing your explanation of all your emotions and your pain, Technoblade could only sit there, eyes wide and mouth agape. He… he didn’t really know what to say to all of this. It brought him immense pain to see the one that he loved suffering so much, and it also made him want to go murder all of those people who had wronged you in the past.
Although, because of how long he left you alone, would he count as one of those who wronged you?
“I…” he began, and took a deep breath, pulling you closer and squeezing you tighter to his chest. “I’m so sorry I left you alone for so long.” You frowned upon hearing the pain in his voice, and you squeezed him tighter as well.
“Hey, Tech, you couldn’t have known,” you said, attempting to reassure your loving boyfriend. “It’s okay, really, it’s-”
“No, it’s not okay,” he interrupted. “I may not have known, but it doesn’t mean that it was perfectly fine. I’m… I…” He growled lightly under his breath, and placed his head atop yours protectively. “I’m never letting you out of my sight.”
“Techno, that’s a bit much,” you said with a giggle. Although you found his slight dramatic tone amusing, you were still incredibly flattered. “It’s-”
“I swear to god if you say ‘it’s okay’ again, you don’t want to know what’s going to happen,” Technoblade muttered darkly, and you couldn’t help but laugh into his chest. He chuckled a bit as well, and the two of you enjoyed the laughter and the happiness for a moment.
“I love you,” you muttered into his chest, breaking the silence that had fallen. Technoblade smiled widely, and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
“I love you too, Darlin’. I’m so sorry that you had to grow up in a horrible situation like that,” he responded. “I promise you, I will treat you like the royalty you are.” He pulled your face up, holding your cheeks between his hands, and he placed a kiss upon your nose. “And I will never leave you alone for too long ever again.”
You smiled, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips. He happily returned the kiss. Here, with your lover, you needn’t worry about the troubles of the past. Although sometimes the negativity came back to bite you in the ass, you had Technoblade with you to soothe your mind and remind you that you are always loved.
