#ted monitor

[duckapus]

Lumi: So... is it entirely within the bounds of possibility that you have an ulterior motive for this trip?

Stockman: Lumi, you should know better than that. At any given moment I never have fewer than seven ulterior motives at play.

---

Dead-Eye Meggy, about her Rabbid gang: I taught 'em everything I know!

Mario: That would explain a lot.

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(During the adaptation of TCS2)

Ambrosia: Oh, we're so fucked. They just integrated a ticking clock into the background music.

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Argit: How long would you keep talking if no one stopped you?

Pikachu: Many before you have tried to find out.

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Archie: Dad, what are you doing!?

Andrew as Mayhem: *stops and looks down at all the nails he's pounded haphazardly into the coffee table*

Mayhem: *looks up at Archie* Is that some kind of trick question or what?

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Lori: You're stupid.

Zant: ...That's it?

Lori: Give it a while. It will eat at you.

(later...)

Zant: Master, am I stupid?

Ganon: Eh, a little.

Zant: Damn her.

---

Luigi: When I say no worries, I actually mean no worries for you, because they're all mine now. I have anxiety. I have all the worries. I'm stealing yours. None for you. If you wanted them, then too bad.

---

(The kids are having some sort of competition in gym class because Desti has learned nothing)

Ted: *throws over a white cloth* You might want to borrow this.

Elanore: Ew, no one wants your dirty underwear.

Ted: It's not underwear! It's a white flag, and you may as well start waving it now.

Hex, of all people: THE ONLY THING I WILL BE WAVING IS YOUR DECAPITATED HEAD ON A STICK IN FRONT OF YOUR WEEPING MOTHER!

*everyone stares at her in silence for a long few moments*

Ted: ...Good lord.

---

Dapple: "Fate" is just what you call it when you don't know the name of the person screwing you over.

---

(that deadline's coming up real fast ain't it?)

Ping: So...how's it going, boss?

Cursor: Fine! Totally fine! Why do you ask?

Ping: Well, it's been about six hours since you started stress-cleaning all the appliances in the break room...

Cursor: This isn't stress cleaning! I just enjoy things I can control! Like having a completely...spotless...dishwasher!

Ping: ...So, can I put my mug in there soon, or-

Cursor: KEEP YOUR FILTH AWAY FROM MY DISH TEMPLE!

---

Laharl soon after meeting the other Avatars: Just so you know, if we've ever had a positive interaction, you can summon me for boss fights.

---

Shroomy: The path to inner peace begins with four words.

Saiko: "Not my fucking problem?"

Shroomy: No.

---

Francis: I'm also a scientist, so I'll be helping with the device.

Gabriel Estrella: Oh, a scientist? What kind?

Francis: ...I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Gabriel: What's your field of study?

Francis: Science.

---

Rahzar, clearly getting way too into the whole zombie magma werecoyote thing: Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Lumi: ...I don't think that's how it goes.

[duckapus]

The Orpheus Arc/Backup File AU

With Andrew's escape, "Ashley" and Aite's secrets, Liana's desire for vengeance and the remaining wounds and adjustments from the last two arcs all hanging over everyone's heads, the air in Renata is thick with tension. Sooner or later, something's got to give.

(also, there'd be unrelated videos in between some of these so we can finally catch up to canon again)

The Snail That Wouldn't Leave

Waypoint, Overseer's accidental Offshoot, has been hanging around the mansion ever since the escape from CCC, still dead set on fulfilling his original function of observing and protecting Tulip. Thing is, he's kind of an ass about it, and everybody, Tulip especially, is absolutely sick of him.

Meanwhile, Andrew's been noticing some unusual details in the research of his home game, and Francis discovers that the formula for transformative Blue Ink that he's adapting from the spaghetti sample will take ingredients from Sora's world.

Tulip's Rescue Mission

Master Yen Sid wishes to assess Not-Technically-a-Master-Yet Sora's would-be apprentice, and assigns her (and her Porygon companion of course) what will hopefully be a simple mission; to investigate a message in a bottle that drifted its way to his tower, and lend aid as needed. He also gets her a more functional update to her training/apocalypse outfit.

The message leads her to the Devil's Bayou, where she ends up taking the form of a mouse and gets stuck in the middle of the plot of The Rescuers, because Kingdom Hearts. Along with the actual perils of the movie's plot, she also has to deal with Heartless being Heartless and Francis deliberately causing problems for her. His reasons for being there have nothing to do with Penny or the Devil's Eye, he already got what he came for by the time Tulip shows up, he's just going out of his way to be a dick.

The Thorn Will Rise Again

It's been long enough that people are no longer on high alert for the escaped Computer Hell inmates, so Francis and Lady Rose decide to get in touch with whatever remains of their respective criminal organizations. Imagine their surprise when they find that the remnants of the two have somehow merged and are in the midst of a long-running gang war. The rest of the Escape Squad tag along, apart from Andrew who's making sure his wife knows he's alright.

Day of the Living Kawaii

Sick of feeling like a useless tagalong, Marianne offers to field test Francis's new Blue Ink by going undercover at the Kid Crew's school and causing chaos with it, so of course it's up to the kids to stop her. Franky and Ted are among those who get hit, which ends up causing its own problems. In Ted's case it's just because she's a lot more trouble as a cute girl with toaster powers than he was as an inanimate object simply by virtue of having actual limbs. In Franky's case it's partly because he ended up surprisingly tall (and most of that height is in his legs) and it's messing with his balance and partly because a combination of a massive electrical surge and finding his anime girl form very attractive has locked Sage in a love-drunk stupor so they don't have access to badniks and their only option for genius-level intellect is an Avatar.

Also, it turns out that the Ink's effects are temporary on normal characters but permanent for inanimate objects, even living inanimate objects. So Ted's a humanoid toaster girl from now on. She doesn't really mind all that much, especially with the day's confirmation that Sage is bi.

One Last Shot

It's the last day of Ashley's modeling contract, and Archie finally works up the courage to actually ask her out on a date as a sendoff since she won't be around nearly as often after this. To both their surprise (and that of their ghostly audience) she accepts, with Ash figuring his scheme might as well go out with a bang. Between the secret Avatar, the vengeful ghost, and the Pokemon that are split between playing pranks and playing bodyguard, we can at least say Archie's night won't be boring.

Tulip the First

During a usual busy day as Prime Minister, Aite finds herself reminiscing about how she ended up in this position. Starting when she was still Tulip, six months into her new lonely-but-free life on the road, and the day her world was destroyed by a few misclicks and she found herself somehow sent back to the very day she was born. Her decision to go into politics instead of following either of her passions, both to make Renata a better place and to be in a position where she could look out for her other self (and to a lesser degree her brother). The discovery that she was sent to another version of her world, rather than truly back in time. Meeting her dear Chester, the one person she'd found she could trust with her true self. The recent chaos and increasing difficulty of keeping her identity hidden of these last few months. The new allies and friends who made all that extra work worth it.

Of course, as usual, her father shows up to ruin things just when she starts to be happy with her life. He reveals to her that he's learned the truth, and abducts her with the intent of having a proper family reunion...

Important: The Orpheus Family Reunion will have a lot going on and deserves it's own post. That'll probably happen at some point in the next few days.

I hope.

I'm a fic writer you know how it is...

[duckapus]

Here We Go Again...

(When Team Rocket first encountered Meme Pikachu)

Meowth: I'm sorry, but the position of annoying talking Pokemon is already taken!

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Zack: Toast is just large croutons.

Ted:... *deploys toast depicting Zack's face with "X"es for eyes*

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Arle: Now me? I'm not like the twins. I don't know the first thing about clothes. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it's clothes or not.

Arle: This chair? *taps on the chair she's sitting in* Not clothes.

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(Doppel meets a fortune teller while traveling in Magnamiel)

Fortune Teller: Your future is full of struggle and anguish. Most of it self-inflicted.

Pierrot: But ye didn't read my palms or anythin'.

Fortune Teller: I didn't need to. It's written all over your mask.

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Sally: I have edge!

Elanore: You really don't. You're literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen even with all the horrors you've lived through. If you weren't made of metal you'd probably have the face of a cartoon lamb.

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Ash: Actually despite being a teenager and an Avatar I'm a surprisingly rational person.

Pikachu: Your hand's been stuck in a vending machine for twenty minutes.

Ash: I paid for my pretzels.

Ash: I'm getting my pretzels.

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Andrew: Aren't you a little young to be drinking wine?

Frenzy, holding a wine glass full of goat blood: ...Yes.

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Tulip: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I take a shower I'll be warm. But between the bed and the shower? No. That Is Not The Warm.

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(If 4 had managed to recover more quickly (or at all))

Admiral 3: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?

SMG4: Well, how would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

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Frenzy: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container.

Ash: The Miltank?

Frenzy: WHAT?

Sora: Ash, why!?

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Laharl: Etna has taught Sicily how to stick post-it's on people's backs without them noticing.

Laharl: She doesn't know they're supposed to say stuff like "Kick Me" so they just have cute drawings or animal facts.

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Frenzy, vibrating intensely: GuysthiscoffeeissogoodIcouldprobablydoamathproblem.

Sora, already dialing Crown's number: Correctly?

Frenzy: Idon'tknow.

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Zack: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *holds up a note that says "I'm very proud of you. Love, Mom"*

Cody: Oh, yeah. I didn't think this was for me. *holds up a note that says "Be good. For the love of God, please be good"*

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Red: If you ever feel safe remember that I am out there.

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Meggy: THREE MONTHS!

Boopkins: What's she talking about?

Bob: Don't worry about it-

Meggy: FOR THREE MONTHS YOU WATCHED ME WATER A PLASTIC PLANT!

Bob, trying not to laugh: It's in the lobby, it isn't even your plant!

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Luigi: Hey Bro, what are you doing?

Mario: Trying to draw a perfect circle.

Luigi: ...That's a triangle.

Mario: I said I'm trying!

[duckapus]

All's Fair in Love and Toasted Mushrooms

For the past couple weeks, Sage has had a secret admirer who's been leaving her all sorts of increasingly elaborate gifts, and, well, she's flattered and all, but everyone knows full well that she only has eyes for Franky. Everyone, that is, except for Franky himself, and he probably won't be finding out anytime soon because at around the same time as her admirer showed up he started getting tormented by the increasingly elaborate and malicious pranks of a secret enemy. So while the two of them are dealing with that whole situation (with Bowser Jr. and Lily running damage control), the rest of the kids try to figure out who exactly is behind all this.

Eventually, they find out that Sage's admirer and Franky's enemy are one and the same; they are none other than Ted Monitor, Hal Monitor's son. His completely nonanthropomorphic, thought to be completely inanimate toaster son. Yeah, it's one of those episodes.

Apparently, he's had a crush on Sage ever since she first started coming to school a little before the New Jersy Incident. And just like everybody else, he's well aware that she's only interested in Franky, but has somehow missed the fact that Franky is completely oblivious and considers him some sort of villainous soap opera rival.

...Yeah, this kid's just as unhinged as his dad. Also he's Literally a Toaster, so he's conveying all this by burning pictures into a seemingly infinite supply of bread, with Hex interpreting because apparently she speaks pictograph.

Anyway, they manage to get him to stop for now through the powers of Incredible Violence and Calling His Parents, but he swears this is just the beginning...presumably. The size and texture of toast slices makes it hard to read his pictographs from a distance.

[duckapus]

Just your average, ordinary Borderline-Homicidal-Kitchen-Appliance-Next-Door