#terrorpunk

[irrealis-district]

I am finally driving regularly with a car I own and tbh, I fucking hate it.

I am so anxious and stiff and since I do not like switching lanes I plan my whole drive ahead of time and what lane I will turn into when so I can drive smoothly.

I took my dad to the grocery store today and he said I am the safest driver he knows

But that doesnt help my nerves

[irrealis-district]

My mother is pushing more and more against my transition.

I wont find love, I must want to be a man, I am making irreversible damage that I will regret.

I dont want to feel pressured to stop but to be honest I dont know what result I am waiting for.

My goal was never to be on it forever and I am only microdosing but I am still being perceived as a girl.

I wish I was simply perceived as a 'what'.

I think I need to find a physical community and perhaps a queer partner and that would help my self esteem.

[deltorandagger]

For DID Awareness Day, get more plural with it. Be your authentic selves. Wear fronting indicators, unmask your mannerisms and your voices, post about it, create about it, yell about it, tell someone about it, express yourselves in every which way. Make time for it in your day, even if a small amount. You deserve the freedom.

Systems spend so much of their own life masking and hiding and acting as a singlet, so take some time for yourselves today. Fuck everyone else. Leave room in your day for plural joy, despite anything else you've gone through. Despite others not understanding. Despite it feeling so damn isolating. Ableists, those with heavy biases and hatred toward systems--they can rot. They don't deserve you in all your authenticity. Leave them behind. The future can be plural, it can be a home for us, if we make it ours. We can carve our own path.

[interstellarsystem]

im just letting you know as an anti-harassment anti endo that the syspunk tag is mainly (more like exclusively) anti endo since pro endos usually come to us saying we cant use plural tags and the like (anti endos made the term syspunk). before you say "just block" i will be doing that for our comfort! just letting you know because i know theres other anti endos out there that wont take as kindly to crosstagging. you guys can have your terms and we can have ours !

also for any endos seeing this i also wanted to bring up an issue an our space that P-DID systems and OSDD-1a systems are both kind of being turned invisible by the term median system and if theres anything you guys can do to like. make the difference between the CDDs and plural term a lot more obvious or something id really appreciate it thanks /nm

Oh, we're aware. However, we think it's frankly ridiculous that systems of any kind would be barred from using syspunk, particularly, yknow, DID systems such as ourselves. Why is there a line drawn between CDD anti-endo systems and everyone else you're grouping into "endogenic, so can't use this word"? If "system" is for those with CDDs, why can't we also use it?

Syspunk is just system and punk put together. We're not less of a system or less punk (and by extension, less syspunk) by being pro-endo, even IF "system" only referred to CDD systems. I don't actually care who coined it when it's an easy to make combination of terms like that. If anti-endos want a punk term for themselves, try not using a term that the entire plural community can and will use. "System" is not exclusive to CDD systems or anti-endos, and we don't like the idea of letting it become a word exclusively for anti-endos. Systems of any kind can use it, regardless of syscourse stance or origin.

As for the median thing... Median is not an endogenic word? It's not exclusive to endogenics either in the slightest--and it's been around for a long time as well, it's not a new thing or a thing we popularized if that's what you're getting at by coming to us with this. I don't have info on its origin on me right now (and if anyone has info, let us know!) but I have its inclusion as something that counts as alterhuman on the coining post for "alterhuman" itself, 2014. It takes nothing away from those with P-DID or OSDD systems, much less would it "turn [them] invisible". It only means how your system is structured, it means nothing about your origin or if you're disordered or not, or even what your syscourse stance is. If the term applies to P-DID or OSDD systems, they can use it. If they don't want to, they don't have to. If the experiences really are so inherently different, how is "median" simply existing affecting CDD systems at all? Are you upset that CDD systems are using it? Wouldn't it apply to none of them at all and be "just another endo term" if it really was just a silly fake endo word?

Though, your point at the end there is interesting. "Make the difference between the CDDs and the plural term a lot more obvious or something". Ignoring that CDDs are very well included in the plural community... You know, this is just like how it's a little weird to use a term for all plurals (system) and mash it with another word (punk) and imply that only the side of discourse you personally agree with can use it. Maybe you should make the difference between anti-endo terms and the plural community's terms more obvious or something?

Regardless, I don't really need you to come into my inbox and tell me we might get harrassed. I get the sentiment, but we know. Especially being a CDD system who dares to be pro-endogenic, and posts in the CDD tags that are literally made for us on the regular. We know. This doesn't help.

[deltorandagger]

haii I noticed you onced tagged your shapeshifter/objectum post with "terrorpunk" can you help explain what that is for me?

Yeah no prob!

So, you know how a lot of harmless groups (particularly of oppressed folks) are often considered "scary", "freaky", "gross", (among other things), to bigots in society? The fearmongering of "the transgenders want to trans your kids, look out!!" or "the therians think they're animals and are making your kids do it too!!" or "disabled person kills 5 people!! he has psychosis!!!" or "theres this TERRIFYING disorder called DID and it makes you have EVIL PEOPLE in your brain!!!".

Terrorpunk is a reclamation of that. Like yeah, I'm the disgusting queer. I'm the freak with psychosis, I hallucinate, I don't facially emote. I'm the narcissist with no empathy at all. I'm the scary evil system who isn't afraid to talk about their identity. It's a big label of "You're calling me [thing]? okay, yep, that's me alright. Now what?", for anyone who feels they fit.

And personally, a good 99% of my identity falls into being terrorpunk for myself because I am completely happy to be "the freak" and the thing to worry about. So that post was tagged in relation to my objectum identity and my alterhumanity.

We have a carrd on it btw if you wanna take a look at that.

[irrealis-district]

I did it. I managed to get my driver's license and a raise/higher position at work.

Everyone keeps saying how proud I should be of myself because they know these are struggles.

For so long I could not drive due to medical issues but I also straight up did not want to it did, and to some degree still does, terrify me.

As for work, due to my mental health I can only manage part time and I feel like such a let down to my cowlrkers who pick up extra shifts and work 12 hour shifts, but my brain just cannot cope with that much work.

Despite all these struggles, I do not feel proud, I feel blah, I feel maybe even stress for my new found responsibilities. That I am now supposed to be reliable for so much more. Idk.

[alterhumanyaoigod]

I hope any art we make of our fictives who are in relationships with each other confuses at least someone. I hope someone sees some gay freaks in our brain presented as fanart and wonders if it's crack we smoke. Orthohumans cannot comprehend the crackship pairings we got going on in here. William Afton FNAF x Basil Omori. Bakugo MHA x Ranpo BSD. Tanjiro Demon Slayer x Denji Chainsaw Man. Alastor HH x Possessed!Hunter TOH. The sky is the limit and we're actually in outer fucking space.

[deltorandagger]

"Are you a boy or a girl" I am a red flag. Run.