when it comes to felix, dorian holds what can be considered the purest, most uncomplicated love for him. agape, you could say. a love that isn’t mired in war or strife or guilt or any of those things. it is one of the most selfless relationships that dorian has ever had in his entire life, and he treasures and holds felix well above essentially everyone else in all of thedas.
too much? i don’t think so. dorian describes felix as “the best of us” and admits that he is a far better man then him ( though perhaps not as good-looking ) and that, if more people were like him, the world would be a far better place. i have talked at length about how dorian mourns felix’s death, as well as his response to an inquisitor who chooses to kill him in the bad future and his response to an inquisitor going to the templars first and foremost and it all is truly summed up in this : dorian loves him, wholeheartedly.
romantically? platonically? both, at times.
in the game, when confronted with the idea of having had a romantic relationship with felix, dorian responds with confusion and even appears vaguely offended. he says that he would have never undermined alexius in such a way, so as to seduce his son. in my opinion, this is layers and layers and layers of internalized homophobia talking —— he doesn’t address upfront the idea of never having feelings for felix, but rather the fact that he would have never betrayed alexius in such a way so as to sully the alexius family’s standing in such a way. to lure his only son into such sin? inconceivable, he is not that sort of man.
if dorian’s relationship with his own sexuality weren’t so heavily entrenched in self-hatred and paranoia, i fully believe that he would have accepted the fact that, in some aspect, he was at least a little in love with felix. but their friendship !! you may cry. this isn’t all to say that their friendship is eclipsed by the idea of dorian likely having feelings for felix at some point in their 12 years of friendship. it isn’t.
consider this : felix was dorian’s first friend. he was the first person nearby his age who was genuinely kind and good and open to him, in spite of his frankly prickly personality and how aggressive dorian tended to be. alexius was dorian’s savior, the man who pulled him out of the lowest moments of his life, and felix was the man who saw him at his lowest points and chose to be close to him all the same ( meanwhile, dear livia alexius was a force to be reckoned with, incredibly protective of him, and endless in how much she loved. ) so i don’t think it’s out of the realms of reality for him to have fluctuated between platonic and romantic feelings occasionally, but he just didn’t acknowledge it. especially because their friendship goes beyond mere friendship and they are more than brothers : they are something nebulous and without true definition.
in the end, dorian loves felix. that is a given. in what way doesn’t truly matter, because it simply is. but i just wanted to discuss it, i suppose.
