Monday, October 19th 2015
Last December, my company decided to throw a blow-out holiday party. Yay, right? Considering we are a show of 15 people, we needed to figure out how to make it bigger and better. “Let’s invite our clients!” Great idea. Even better, turns out, one of our clients brought his smokin’ hot friend with him as his guest. Open bar + cute boys = bad bad bad for a work event. I took notice around me, but it seemed as if everyone was hitting the bottle pretty hard so I realized this was my opportunity to make a fool of myself without anyone giving two shits. Readers – you don’t know me, but I pride myself in my ability to take advantage of an open bar. I will drink Don Julio and Kettle One until I’m blue in the face.
So, 4 vodkas and 2 beers later, I find myself at a bar table with the client, his friend, and my other young female co-worker. Now, as the client is a comedian (and drunk), we were all laughing and his friend got to get a good luck at how “fun and carefree I am! Look! I laugh!” Convo turned into “who was the last guy you texted and how did it go” (Let’s think real-life scenario of Aziz Ansari’s Modern Romance. We all remember the girl who kept going to Marquee, right? Poor thing. We here at thenwestoppedtalking can relate, boo.) I go first. I reluctantly share a conversation (of which, is NOT a blog entry, because me and this guy have never stopped talking…let’s call him Derek) but am actually a little excited to hear a male opinion on what the FUCK is going on in this hot-and-cold “relationship”. Also, so the hot friend knew that I did indeed get attention from men but just not in this current exact moment in time (cue for his moment to ask for my number).
Last message was sent on November 12th. It was currently December 5th. His advice? Send a random emoji! WHICH IS SO NOT ME TO DO. But I’m drunk and decide to let him take control of my phone like a fucking idiot. He sends the text, of which he choose the Santa emoji. We wait. And we wait. And we wait. I put my phone in my pocked with one hand on it as to not miss the very subtle buzz buzz from my suitor. However, 4 hours later, I was still a princess without her text message. And we are now back home and I am without hot friend’s number. *le sigh*
The next morning, I show up to work. My female coworker says “you’ll never guess what, (the client) texted me last night!” He had sent her an emoji Great, real witty. Plus their conversation was on fire. Good for her! Good for her that she got someone to like her that evening…yeah….I was so happy for her…
One hour later. She gets an email from the client. It says “Did that guy ever text (your coworker/me) back?” She replies “No…great advice on that emoji”. He responds with “Well, my friend will always text her back.” Her and I sit there looking at this email. Huh? The guy did not get my number, nor did he text me…then it dawns on us. The client gave his friend my CO-WORKERS NUMBER thinking it was MY NUMBER. That whole night, my coworker thought she was texting the client. The friend thought he was texting me. UNIVERSE! THE FUCK!
So he DID want to talk to me after all! My lucky stars have aligned!! I quickly (maybe too quickly) text the guy from my phone that he’s now got the real me. He texts back “hey its derek” HAHA and the jokes begin.i love my new boyfriend.
…& then we stopped talking.
UPDATE: I was at a party with a good girlfriend of mine who had just moved back from NYC. She’s talking about a job opportunity that got set up through her friend she new from out there. I hear his name. Errrrr…hold up. Is that….IT IS. MY FRIEND KNOWS HOT GUY. I tell her the story. She texts him (basically) that he’s an idiot if he doesn’t text me tonight to ask me out. He texts back that he is with girlfriend.
…& then we really stopped talking.
