Me wonders what bots are thinking when we eat candy/pasta that is shaped like wires to them
A/N: Me smells some tom-foolery. You didn't say which bots so I picked some...
☆ Tailgate: CONCERNED?! You immediately have to reassure him that its just spaghetti & that spaghetti is just pasta. 'Are you sure it's edible??? It looks pretty wirey to him. Wtf even is pasta???' You have to calmly explain to him the processes of pasta making & ingredients. Y'all go down a mini rabbit hole during this and end up watching satisfying pasta making videos (which helps calm him). Once he is satisfied that its edible he'll let you continue, but he's still mildly uncomfortable because it's the shape for him. The shape is just way to similar to wires & it worries him. So hope you like eating pasta in other shapes from now on lol.
☆ Ultra Magnus: Knows its not wires. You try to trick him by eating licorice in front of him, claiming 'you love to eat wires.' But he's 10 steps ahead of you. He researched human candies, and is familiar with licorice. He knows everything about licorice in fact. He can tell when, where and who invented it; as well as its popularity ranking & the ingredient list. Better luck next time. (And yes he knows what spaghetti is too so you better get creative.)
☆ Rodimus: He genuinely gets spooked for a second. 'OMG DON'T EAT WIRES! Wires aren't safe for humans!!!' .... 'Wait why are you giggling?' Once you explain that it's just a Cowtail Candy, he'll laugh with you. You really had him there for a second lol. He then has the great idea to take your little act on the road, because if it tricked him there are definitely others who would get tricked too. Loves using it as a party trick because watching others startled expressions is priceless. Laughs with you while the others panic, before explain it.
☆ Soundwave: The twins (Rumble & Frenzy) put you up to this. They're snickering in the corner while you do it, which kinda gives you away. Because if they are laughing Soundwave is expecting something to happen, but when you start eating squid ink pasta he is not prepared. He didnt know what was gonna happen, but you eating wires was not on his list. Why would the twins encourage you to eat wires?! They know that's not good! Rips it out of your hands. As soon as he touches it & examines it closer he realizes what's happening. Gives it back to you and gives the twins an ear full.
Imagine a liaison aboard the lost light who calls people 'love' and 'dear' in a very soft, delicate tone.
based on this post because this is just too tempting to not write about, we must sound like debutants making their first appearance in fashionable society speaking in skittish whispers and sighs all the time when in reality organics speak in different octaves and wavelengths. definitely self indulgent cause me and my friends do this.
Imagine a liaison aboard the lost light who calls people 'love' and 'dear' in a very soft, delicate tone. In a ship full of battle-weary, pessimistic, cybertronians desensitized to almost everything, that single drop of warmth coming from a human whose touches feel like silk — feather light and alien, would be enough to make them putty in your presence.
The last time Brainstorm received a — " How clever, Brainstorm, thank you for your help." He had nearly popped a circuit trying to come up with a reply, stunned silent for what Perceptor claimed was the first time he was without one of his usual snarky remarks. Then it was Swerve, who wouldn't shut up about how you had called him 'darling' — Skids was adamant to prove to him that it was just how you spoke to people, even if the theoretician himself had his chest puffed out from being called 'dear'.
Then there was the time that you had scolded Whirl for nearly stepping on you, voice still painfully tender in comparison to the mechanical lilt of metal vocalizers —" Ooop! Careful there, handsome!" You had jumped, swerving just in time before his pedes crushed you. And the watchmaker froze, with a single optic pinning you in place. Then Drift had to chase him down several hallways, yelling that he wasn't allowed to just pick you up and run off.
An intervention was needed when a group of mechs were sent down a Decepticon outpost and returned with injuries. Apparently, everyone wanted to be pat on the arm and have you crooned — " Oh, you poor, brave thing" to them. With your brows knitted in worry, lips pout and slightly parted as they tell you all the heroic things they did. ( Ultra Magnus wasn't too impressed when said intervention from Rodimus was just a plot for him to cut the line and show you his battle scars. Someone in the back of the line had yelled that he wasn't even scratched. Judging from the infighting brewing, it was most likely Whirl.)
Imagine being bent over Medic's operating table and getting the most devious backshots as he praises you for being such a good assistant. Meanwhile, someone is probably strapped down, chest open after being expermented on, staring at you two.
I have no more thoughts, there is only Mirage. I already posted a fic of him to my 18+ blog, but I love seeing this mech being a cute little nerd as well. Please enjoy this fic where reader wakes up at night for a drink and Mirage doesn't want to stop snuggling.
Fair warning there might be quite a lot of ROTB content incoming!
Unexpected thirst woke you from your deep sleep rather quickly, thrusting your bleary mind into an environment it didn't immediately recognize. Panic had no time to set in before you realized you were in your garage, with a thoroughly demolished couch below you and a very affectionate bot snoozing away at your back. The two of you must have fallen asleep after turning off the TV...
Mirage made a small sound at your back before curling more tightly around you, pulling the arm he had under your middle close to secure your back snugly against his front as he murmured something snarky in his dreams. Smiling at the adorableness, you realized rather swiftly that getting up for a drink without waking the sleeping bot would be a challenge. You weren't being held especially tightly, but the soldier was a light sleeper, and the smushed couch remains beneath you were rather noisy when disturbed. Were you not so thirsty, you'd have just settled back into his arms and gone to sleep.
Deciding to try your luck, you began scootching your way downwards to try and ease out of the mech's grip, moving slowly so as not to brush any part of him along the way. Mirage continued to twitch as he dreamt, snoring lightly as you tenderly pushed his arm away from your middle. Once you got free and began inching away from the warm little nest the two of you had created, it occurred to you that the mech had probably pulled you close after you'd fallen asleep but before doing so himself, as the last thing you remembered was resting your eyes while sitting on his lap.
The affection stirred by that thought compelled you to turn around for a look at him recharging in all his adorableness, and you smiled before continuing your crawl. It would be delightful to return to his arms after facing this cold open air...
A loud creak from the smushed springs and wood beneath your knees made you freeze, heart skipping as you looked back in a rush.
Mirage awoke with a start, optics onlining with a few quick blinks before he focused on you and calmed considerably, alarm fading to sleepy confusion. "Babe?"
"I'm just going to get some water, be back in a second." you explained gently, moving in to plant a quick kiss on his forehelm. To your surprise, the speedster pulled you in without a word, hugging you back against his chassis as if you were a cat. Sputtering in surprise, you allowed yourself to be smushed with only moderate flailing, so accustomed to being handled you no longer felt too off put even when caught off guard.
"Nooooo, don't go..." he whined softly, playfully tightening his grip on you as if he never intended to let go. The sleepy antics were quite in character, and you only rolled your eyes as he nuzzled his helm against yours, mussing up your hair in the process. You accepted the affection for a few moments before trying to pull yourself away once more, throat protesting yet again for a drink.
"I'm only going to the kitchen." you reminded him, the door to the room in question quite literally within sight. In just the time he'd taken for these antics you could have been halfway done with your task, thanks largely to the tiny size of the adjoining house, but logic rarely kept Mirage from doing much of anything. In fairness, you'd have been happy to go back to sleep were you not still so thirsty. The lovable bot was very good at cuddling.
"Hmmm, fine..." he conceded with dramatic disappointment, releasing you before crossing his arms and pouting. As soon as you crawled away he upped the ante, wrapping his arms about himself and shivering pathetically and putting on the most over the top puppy optics you'd ever seen. "Brrrr, so cold... hope I don't freeze out here all alone."
"You'll survive until I get back." you promised with a roll of your eyes. Certain he was pouting at the back of your head the entire way, you quickly crossed the furbished garage and slipped into the dark house, using the ample moonlight to guide you through the dark kitchen. After grabbing a much needed glass of water and finishing it with a few greedy gulps, you hurried back to the garage, eyes slightly more adjusted to the dark by the time you opened the door. You doubted the entire affair took more than two minutes.
"Oh, Y/N, is that you? It's been so long..." Mirage said with mock weakness from the far side. Curled up in a pitiful position he'd obviously posed for maximum effect, the speedster shivered as if he'd been left abandoned for hours, the mock pain in his optics barely covering the mischevious delight in their depths.
"I was gone for five minutes." you reminded him with a yawn, wanting nothing more than to curl up in the flattened couch once more. It was surprisingly comfortable for something multiple bots had reduced to a pile of stuffing, but the mech you shared it with probably had a lot to do with that.
"Nearly enough time for me to freeze to death. Now get back here, I need my little space heater." Mirage said, abandoning his act to beckon you over.
"Letting that go because I'm so tired..." you promised, rubbing your eyes as you crawled back onto the couch remains. The mech eagerly assisted you, helping to bring your back against his front just as you'd been before whilst he snagged a spare blanket to lay over your shoulders. Being pulled in close allowed you to feel the subtle warmth that radiated from his own frame, as well as the tender hum of his spark and the gentle caress of his EM field brightening at your presence. When he looped his arm around your front once more, you happily hugged it close, and his demeanor softened all around you.
"Mmm, much better." he purred, curling about you as the both of you settled in once more. Loosely holding his hand, you snuggled against him and began to drift off once more, smiling as he murmured a final goodnight after thinking you were already asleep. "Sweet dreams, bunkmate."
Those Bee hcs were 👀👌 GOOD STUFF. I would be forever in your debt if you did something for ES Elita-1, she's got nothing out there!!
Holy moly anon you're so right! Also thanks so much, that Bee post really helped me get back to writing!
Enjoy some saucy Reader x Elita One headcanons!
1. There are few things she loves more than fragging right after a workout. She can barely explain it herself, but there's just something about being all pumped up and then pounding you into a berth (or whatever surface the two of you can reach), and the harder she exercises the harder she'll want to pound. You can expect her to seek you out as soon as she finishes her routine, still covered in coolant and often steaming from the heat of exertion. A shower for you both almost always follows, and she loves when your tiny hands get to work scrubbing where she can't reach. She'll also clean you up if you're too spent to do it yourself.
2. That calm, collected coolness and natural sense of command doesn't stop at the bedroom door. If anything, she's all the more relaxed and in charge when she's being seductive. She knows just what to say to get your knees shaking, and you'll happily do whatever she says the second she lifts your chin to meet her gaze. One playful smirk is usually all it takes to get you to take your clothes off.
3. She's picked up a lot of techniques over the years, and not just with other bots, so you're not the first human she's had the pleasure of banging. As a result, she knows a number of creative ways to get you off, but she's eager to learn more. Where you like to be touched, how many of her digits you want, the best angle to please you... she wants to know you inside and out. Her considerable strength makes maneuvering you during all this a breeze, and she'll not hesitate to let you know just how much she loves playing with you. Expect lots of playful petting behind closed doors.
TFP Arcee, Optimus and Ultra Magnus reacting to a former Gladiator turned boisterous gang leader who basked in the glory of combat and always down to rumble, but when it all comes down, she would sacrifice herself for the Autobots and the Earth without a second thought?
TFP Optimus Prime
Optimus knows better than to make any assumptions about anyone regarding their background. Megatron was once a Gladiator, and was his dearest friend once upon a time. People do what they must to survive, so he can't fault them for the choices they've made. While he would prefer never having to fight again, he is ever grateful for their willingness to put their lives on the line for the sake of the Autobots and the Earth.
TFP Arcee
Despite different backgrounds, they likely have similar approaches to things. A willingness to fight at any given opportunity, but an equal willingness to put down their lives for the sake of those important to them. She does find herself rather curious about their past as a Gladiator and a gang leader, but would never press. Some things are just… best left in the past.
TFP Ultra Magnus
Ultra Magnus would have very mixed feelings about them, especially at first. Their ‘violent nature’ and want for battle would bother him, since he certainly doesn’t enjoy the war. However, he can’t deny the skills that would come from such a background, and that they have a good spark when it comes down to it. So they may butt heads, but they work well together in a pinch, and he will defend them with the same fervor with which they defend the Earth and their fellow Autobots.
