#tgd-posts

[tgd-sideblog]

Buck's new apartment is one Ravi owns and Eddie is filled with irrational jealously bc wdym Buck broke up the (landlord) relationship with him for a new (landlord) relationship with Ravi. What does Ravi offer that Eddie doesn't? A bedroom? Why does Buck suddenly need a bedroom? An open plan loft is basically the same as sleeping in a living room, why is Buck suddenly being picky about having walls now?

[tgd-sideblog]

I need a version of the aquarium conversion when Shane slips and stresses his line like "now you want to get me pregnant too" and Hayden picks up on it and is like "wait - who else wants to get you pregnant???" and Shane is so flustered he ends up blurting out "Rozanov" so now Hayden 'knows' except also Hayden has in no way been given enough information to prevent further comedic misunderstandings

[tgd-sideblog]

i think one of the big hard to swallow pills is that buck no longer feeling like he has a secure or permanent place in eddie's family isn't just silly baseless insecurity on his part but is a direct reaction to how eddie approached the whole texas thing. i think buck DID feel pretty secure in his (unspoken, undefined, but still very real) place in the diaz family before the texas move, but at this point, at least from his perspective, eddie has made it clear that he doesn't actually have that.

and the interesting part is that i think eddie expects them to effortlessly slide back into the old dynamic now that he and chris are back; he doesn't yet realize that anything on buck's side of things has changed

I think it's very telling that when Buck first finds out about Eddie's plan to move to Texas he has a moment of shock but very swiftly pivots to offerring Eddie his support and joining him on the realtor call -- if moving to Texas is what Eddie needs Buck is prepared throw himself into them arranging that together. The tipping point for Buck overtly struggling with the situation is when Eddie reveals to Buck that he's picked out a house and made the downpayment without having so much as mentioned it to Buck let alone accepted his assistance. There is a whole seperate line of analysis about why Eddie does it like that, but that approach is an implicit rejection of Buck's attempt to involve himself and turns the move from something Buck is a supportive part of into something Eddie has locked him out of.

And I absolutely agree that Eddie believes they can effortlessly slide back into their old dynamic, I think we already see signs of it in how once he's in Texas Eddie is happy to reinvolve Buck in the minutaea of his life and lean on him for support as if nothing has changed, and this continues through the way he's expecting Buck to be emotionally in sync with him in the aftermath of Bobby. It aligns with the behavior we've seen before with Eddie in S3 and S5, his first choice for resolution just moving past the hard stuff and getting back to normal, and from his point of view there's no reason for that not to happen: Buck was upset about the move but then he accepted it, and now Eddie is back anyway so they are back to how they were before like nothing happened between them. To Eddie any issue with the scenario that Buck is part of Eddie's life except for this one specific situation is resolved by that specific situation being over, whereas on Buck's side he's now been shown that his place in Eddie's life comes with exceptions and he couldn't predict or mitigate that.

And of course when talking about Buck's relation to the Diaz family unit there's the Chris of it all. There's no indiciation he was maintaining contact with Buck while in Texas but then he's brought back by Eddie and there's also no indication of any conflict there. But he's been so underwritten in S8 that there's barely even anything to work with on theorising where his head is at so it's pretty much free reign to imagine whatever. I'll embrace any narratively satisfying interpretation of Chris, but in lieu of decent foundations for a theory I just lean into he's at that stage in adolescence where he isn't really thinking about the thoughts and feelings of the adults around him unless they directly impact him, so in his mind the relationship with Buck was something that was there and he didn't really think about while distracted with his own stuff while in Texas and doesn't really think about enough to consider going back to LA wouldn't be picking up right where he left off.

[tgd-sideblog]

The thing about the Buck and Eddie relationship is that Christopher is Eddie's son, that relationship might come under strain but there's a fundamental connection there that can't be taken away from him. And that means Eddie can play almost not quite never putting a label on it partners with Buck in the security that whatever happens there he has a family that is all his and can't be taken away from him.

But Buck only has the almost, and Buck wants a partner and a family and the security of it being real. Being involved with Eddie and Chris makes him happy but the unlabelled nature of it means it can't fully meet his need for something that is definitively his. None of his previous relationships have really challenged the limbo of being almost part of the Diaz family, though Tommy noticed that he was competing for space, but Buck can't have his own family for real when at the same time being an unofficial part of Eddie's.

So Eddie could happily go on just as they always have been, but Buck has just had his nose rubbed in the fact that when it comes to the important stuff he'll be left alone and that their comfortable status quo isn't permanent which means that something has to change.

[tgd-sideblog]

Still not watching 9-1-1 but from what I've picked up from my dash: Connor and Kameron blame Buck's genes for the fact their toddler is challenging? a) has someone explained how toddlers work to them, b) those two were such messy bitches, Connor was like hey I want sperm from this guy I claim to really like and respect but also haven't stayed in touch with for years and then I'm going to freak out about my wife's pregnancy and bail on her for an extended period and Kameron went along with all that and also invited her heavily pregnant self to move into Buck's apartment because she apparently had no friends of her own, so if the kid is hard work frankly I think we need to consider that nurture has something to do with it

[tgd-sideblog]

So @glorious-spoon expressed interest in the tags in more of my thoughts on why Eddie shuts Buck out of the house purchasing decision as referenced in this post and far be it from me to deny myself an opportunity to ramble about 9-1-1.

Eddie is clearly happy and relieved when Buck initial responds to the news of the move supportively, it’s a weight off his shoulders that he doesn’t have to worry about leaving straining their friendship, and he welcomes Buck joining him on the realtor call. So why is it that the next time Eddie talks about the move it’s to announce he’s done it all without even mentioning to Buck that he’s found a house he might like?

A mortgage and housing downpayment are not instant processes and Buck and Eddie see each other several times a week, for Buck not to know means Eddie has been making big steps that it would be natural to mention as they happen but has instead kept quiet.

And I think it circles back to Eddie’s ongoing issues with self-denial and noble suffering, in two clusters.

(It's hard to lean too much on analysis of the financial aspects because I don't have familiarity with the housing markets and pay-to-housing cost ratios of LA and El Paso and even if I did TV logic would take precedence, but…) if Eddie could afford to rent a nice enough house in LA on a firefighter's salary (& at the point of planning the move he expects to be able to get an equivalent job in El Paso), it seems reasonable to think he could rent at least an equivalent home there. Instead he buys a house that needs so much work it's uncomfortable for Eddie to live in and Helena suggests in the PS5 conversation has multiple issues that make it ill-suited for Chris to visit. I think Eddie's choice of house suggests he's still punishing himself. Eddie's perception of the root cause of his issues with Christopher was that it was caused by Eddie indulging his wants, ergo the opposite of that is to not think of his own comfort at all. Also I think some part of Eddie wants to be seen to be righteously suffering, that if Christopher sees Eddie is willing to live in a terrible house to be closer to him that will show Chris how much Eddie loves him. It also implies a degree of pessimism about what will happen in El Paso, Eddie has no hope that Chris will be quick to want to visit or stay with him, he’s expecting any resolution to take long enough that Eddie will have time to fix up the house before Chris will want to be in it. Buck’s light-hearted framing of him joining the realtor call is because some of the houses Eddie has looked at are ‘tragic’ and Buck wants to help him pick a nice one – involving Buck would mean pushback on that. It’s not necessarily conscious, but I think Eddie is aware enough that Buck might try to talk him into something nicer or ask him to explain the choice to buy a wreck of a house. Eddie is at the point in time feeling pretty insecure about his ability to withstand temptation (Kim) and some inner conflict and shame about the fact in his heart he is not 100% fine with doing whatever it takes to fix things with Chris (he’s picking Chris but he’s clearly reluctant to give up his life in LA) and I think he knows that his determination to make this drastic decision is only going to waver more if Buck starts poking well-intentioned holes in it so the solution to that is to ensure it’s a done deal without Buck getting any opportunity to sway him.

Eddie tying himself down to buying a house is in part a gesture of the seriousness of Eddie’s commitment to putting Chris before everything else, and so it has to come from Eddie. He tried getting Buck to help with Chris in the immediate aftermath of the Kim situation and Chris wasn’t receptive at all. Letting Buck contribute to the move in ways that make the process meaningfully easier would undermine Eddie’s sense of responsibility and willingness to put himself through this for Chris as punishment for his actions, if he lets Buck make things easier that’s cheating. Of course, Buck ends up being a major help anyway by subletting, but by that point Eddie has already thrown himself into the decision, Buck isn’t building him a bridge he’s just offering Eddie a line so he doesn’t sink while doing what he has already committed himself to, but Eddie’s met his own expectation that he will throw himself fully into making this sacrifice in order to repair things with Chris.

[tgd-sideblog]

There's something about the fact that when Buck had his lightning NDE there was so much emphasis on his father+son relationship with Bobby and characters talking about how Bobby can't lose another child (Buck), to the point the impact on Bobby is framed as the most significant even more than Maddie, and Bobby being dead in the coma world is one of the major reasons Buck becomes determined to get back and that the real world is better even though the coma world is the one where Daniel is alive and Buck's relationship with his parents his better etc. But when Bobby dies they did a whole funeral/reactions episode and Buck is just sort of in the background and not acknowledged as having a relationship with Bobby any more significant than some random 118 background firefighter.

[tgd-sideblog]

Okay I know Bobby submitted Buck and Eddie together for the games etc etc but have we considered a world where Eddie did get the job at the El Paso FD and then they decided the firefighter games would be a good bonding experience for their new teammate and submitted him as one of them and so Buck and Eddie reunite after a year apart as opponents in the games and they're both trying very hard to act like this is a normal friendly competition and Buck isn't about to start biting Eddie's replacement team and Eddie isn't aching to see what he's still quietly missing dangled in front of him.