i just wanna say i was absolutely not prepared for the end of season 3 of the good place to be that heart breaking. i thought i had another season before it was gonna make me cry and i was wrong and i can’t start season 4 for like a couple days because i don’t think i can handle it but anyway if you haven’t watched this show i 100% endorse it, so far it is wonderful.
Spoilers for The Good Place, Season 3 in general and specifically the finale below.
"You send kids to the Bad Place!?!?"
Eleanor was staring at the blonde kid sitting on the couch, his eyes closed in serenity, still drifting through the fog of the afterlife. Blissfully unaware of the literal hell he’d been sentenced to. Lucky for him he wouldn't wake up until she pressed a button in Michael's--in her office.
This was a kid! Like!! a teenager!!!!
Michael shifted his footing nervously, leaning against the wall and trying and failing to be casual. "Well, uh, I did’t do it, the System did.It’s not--not under my control, now, just remember that. And the System doesn't...really care how old you are. There's no age limit for being held accountable for your actions. As far as its concerned, all humans should be punished for being bad people. And...well........since the system has determined that all humans are bad people.......well....."
Eleanor’s brain stopped functioning for a few seconds.
“Michael,” She said slowly, staring at him in horror, “Please tell me there aren’t babies in the Bad Place.”
Michael’s face twisted into a grimace of guilt and anxiety. “Th--there aren’t any babies in the Bad Place.” He said, completely unconvincingly.
Eleanor raised her eyebrows. “Michael.” She said, “Are you lying to me?”
He pouted. “No, I’m simply...telling you what you want to hear. That’s--I’m making you happy, that’s a good thing!”
She facepalmed with a groan. “You know what--you know what? I’m just. I’m just going to pretend we didn’t have this conversation. I’m just going to pretend I don’t know that babies go to the Bad Place.”
He clapped his hands together and pushed away from the wall. “Right! Yep! Let’s do that! I’d rather not contemplate the idea either! In fact, what idea? I have NO idea what we were just talking about! Anyways! Back on track!”
He picked up the file he’d sat down on the bookshelf, and flicked it open and started to read, as Eleanor began to pace worriedly.
“Uh--Okay, we got the file for this k--this young man earlier, his name’s Adrien Agreste and he--oh wow, yeah. Uh. Wow, this is a lot. Okay I really think we need to get back to the Judge with these restrictions because I feel like the bad guys are cheating. Like, a lot. This kid is way worse than anything you guys did. It says he--okay now that’s just NOT fair.”
“What? WHAT?” Eleanor demanded, shaking her hands, “What did he do? Oh my god was he a murderer? Don’t tell me he was a murder--actually no DO tell me he was a murderer because that’s DEFINITELY against the rules! The judge would HAVE To let us switch him out for someone else! Go on! He was a murderer, right!?”
Michael was still staring down at the file, looking a mix of confusion and anger. “Uh...” His eyes scanned over the pages and he flipped a few, before shaking his head with a sigh of relief, “Okay, no, he wasn’t a murderer--”
“FORK!”
“--But he...also sort of was.”
“Okay--what does that even forking mean????”
“It means he was--oh, crap I don’t know if you were still alive when it started, what year did you die? No wait it doesn’t matter. Okay. Uh. He’s not a murderer but he also sort of kind of is because he allowed a couple thousand people to die by his direct inaction after he swore to save them, but it’s...not really--but sort of okay, because they were all brought back to life afterwards using magic.”
Eleanor stared at him.
And continued to stare at him.
And continued to stare at him.
“What.” she said.
Michael stared at her.
Then he jolted. “Oh, crap, you didn’t know about magic--oh somehow I forgot you’re from the US, they don’t like to...well, they try to keep it--” He shook his head and threw the file over his shoulder so that all the papers fluttered out. “It doesn’t matter! Newsflash, Eleanor, magic has been a thing the entire time! You just didn’t know about it because this particular brand of magic is very finicky and people tend to forget about it when it’s not in front of them! Anyways! Long story short, this kid has done way worse stuff than any of you guys combined, BUT only technically, because it all got fixed by magic afterward.”
He bent down and grabbed one of the fallen papers, twisting it in his hands until it was right side up, squinting at it.
“Well. Most of it was fixed. Uh. The file also said he’s a--what you call a Nice Guy--he was...oh boy.” He spun the paper so that he was reading the back, “He sexually harassed his superhero partner--I did mention he was a superhero, right? I think I forgot that part--for over a year, and assaulted her multiple times, oh my, he really hit like, all the boxes for being an abuser, didn’t he. Aside from the aforementioned sexual harassment and assault, he also punished her for rejecting him, manipulated her, and in general...was an absolute creep.
Which is totally against the rules, by the way but--well, his worst misdeeds were all fixed by magic, and I guess...somehow the systems considers that to be canceling them out. Which. Isn’t how this is supposed to work. But apparently this particular brand of magic is. Tied into the very fabric of the universe so. It cheats. Which is just not fair. Um. And it says here he died because...oh boy, he teamed up with the supervillain he pledged to fight, and damaged the conduit through which the reality-fixing magic flowed, thus..............preventing its wielder from bringing him back or fixing the damage he caused. Wow. Talk about irony.”
Eleanor was clutching her face in her hands.
The boy continued to sit on the couch, eyes closed, expression peaceful. Unaware of the literal hell he’d been sentenced to.
Eleanor was still clutching her head. “We’re doomed.” She moaned.
Rules for the blog - send a short prompt - send a long prompt
