Fandom: Bad Samaritan
Pairing: Sean x Cassi (OC - TGWBS’ verse)
Word Count: 1,3 k
Warning: Strong language, lots of death talk (kinda angsty), weed.
(Masterlist)
"Seaaaaan," I came home from work hoping to find him all sexy editing his photos in my bed, but he was sitting by the window. His eyes were red from crying while listening to music with his headphones.
I slowly approached him, not wanting to invade his privacy or scare him, and touched his shoulder gently. Sean immediately wiped his tears away and put on a smile, fumbling with his phone to pause the music.
"Hey, darlin', how was work?" he kissed the back of my hands. "Y'look so beautiful, I love this makeup..."
"Babe, don't pretend nothing happened, you're crying," I wrapped my arms tightly around him, unconsciously trying to mimic what he does to me when I'm not feeling great.
"Don't worry, Cassi, I'll be okay," he pulled me to bed with him.
"But honey, you're not okay," I stroked his cheek, kissing his forehead. "I love you so much, I don't wanna see you like this. Please, tell me what's wrong? You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"
"I know, I just don't wanna trigger you," he sighed with a frown. "I'm scared if I tell you, you'll get anxious."
"Oh..." for that moment I had to make a choice. I could either drown in my own fear and let Sean go through whatever was going on by himself, or I could try to help him, even if that causes me to be a little nervous at first. Of course I chose the second option, that's what I'd want him to do for me if I were in his place. "I can handle it, it's okay."
"Are you sure, love? I really don't wanna put any more weight on your shoulders, you already deal with so much every single day..."
"I'm sure, I'm your girlfriend, if you can't count on me then why am I even here?"
"You're here because I love you," Sean countered.
"Spit it out, you'll feel better once you tell someone..."
"Today it's the first anniversary of Derek's death," he murmured, tears gathering in his eyes once again and he buried his face in my chest.
"Aw, baby, I'm so sorry."
"It fuckin' sucks, I think of callin' him all the time, I wonder if I should drop by his house, I get excited t'tell him when somethin' good happens, but then I remember he's not here anymore," he sobbed quietly. "I feel so guilty for what happened, I don't even give a shit about what that sick bastard did t'me. He took my money, hacked into all of my social media and my electronics, broke into my house, got me fired, fucked up my car, fucked up my face, tried to blow me up... I wish he had only hurt me, I can take it."
"None of what happened was your fault, honey. You were trying to help someone, you were being the selfless person you are, it's not your fault."
"Y'say that, but if I weren't such a fuckin' pussy my parents wouldn't have lost their jobs, Riley wouldn't have been humiliated and attacked, and Derek would still be alive."
"What were you supposed to do? Stay there and wait to get caught? You ran away like every normal person would do, but you did everything you could to save Katie, she owes you her life. I owe you my life, because of you I'm safe today."
"One second, one second could've changed all that shit," Sean sighed, laying on his back.
"Why don't we get some flowers and bring them to Derek?"
"It's gonna hurt too much."
"I know, but you need to hurt. He was your best friend, grieving is just another way of loving. I would give anything to visit my mum, my dad never told me where she was, and I guess I'll never know... But my dream is to tell her that I'm safe, that I'm surviving even with all the struggle."
"She would be so proud, darlin'," he smiled timidly, brushing my hair away from my face. "Her beautiful, sweet, kind little girl. D'you know when she passed?"
"No, he never told me."
"Maybe we could grieve together. It has t'make things easier, right?" now it was Sean's turn to take me into his arms. "Every year, today, we can remember the people we lost."
"That would be nice," I felt tears rolling down my face as well. "But if you don't wanna visit him, that's okay."
"No, I do. Besides... I think he'd love meetin' you," Sean chuckled softly. "He would love you, but the minute you left he'd say: no way, she's way out of your league, dog, what the fuck you doin'?"
Yeah, from everything that I ever heard about Derek, he seemed like the sweetest and funniest guy ever. I would've loved to meet him and he could tell me all the embarrassing stories from Sean's past, maybe I'd set him up with Kylie and go on double dates... You know, like normal people our age do.
We chose some flowers on the way and drove to the cemetery. We were quiet for most of the way, I didn't exactly know what to say. I grew up learning not to create any connections with anyone, knowing I would eventually lose them. The only person I actually miss and long for is my mother and I don't even know her name, I have no memories of her.
I always thought that it was better this way, you can't miss what you never had, but seeing the way Sean smiled when he mentioned his friend, made me realize that it's better to love and lose than to never love at all.
"What are you doing?" I watched as he looked for something in every compartment of the car.
"I need a lighter."
"For what?"
"Derek and I always used to smoke together before work," he pulled a joint from his pocket. "I thought it would be a nice way to honor his memory."
"Give me the keys then, I'll drive back home when we're done."
It didn't take long for us to find his grave, even though his tombstone was quite discreet, it simply said "Derek Sandoval 1992 - 2018".
"I don't know how t'do this," Sean looked at me as if I knew.
"I guess you talk to him?"
"Okay, I can do that... Hey man," he put the flowers down and lit up the joint. "Brought someone I'd like you to meet, this is Cassiopeia, my girlfriend. Yes, I know she's way too hot for me and way too smart."
"Hey, Derek," I got down on my knees next to the grave. "It's really nice to meet you."
"We've been together for a while now, I got a new job as a commercial photographer, but I still do my own thing on the side... I'm still a tortured artist and it seems t'be workin' out for me, even though I'm still broke."
The words Sean didn't say were way louder than the ones he did say. Every supposedly trivial statement carried pain, grief, and longing. We ended up sitting there for almost an hour, we only left because the sun was starting to set and I'm not a huge fan of driving at night.
"Y'know, man..." Sean murmured before getting up. "I don't think I ever said that, but I love you. Wish I could've said it that while you were still here."
"I'm sure he's very happy to hear it now," I took his hand to get up.
"I hope so," he draped his arm around me on the way back to the car. "Thank you for bein' here with me, darlin’."
"Thank you for letting me be here."
"Maybe he was right, you are too good for me."
Tag List: @elliethesuperfruitlover @firstpersonnarrator @nightingale-rose @a-ghoulish-tale @seanfalco @badsext
“Are you alright?” he asks. While she sounds far away, her face is bright, nearly shimmering in the darkness of the kitchen. She looks ethereal, otherworldly. Perhaps that is what’s bothering her, he wonders.
“I don’t know,” she says after a moment. Remus can see her skin pinching at her fingertips, as if she’s grasping her neck tightly enough to bruise. “Remus. At this moment, I am trying very hard not to feel empty.”
from Part III, Chapter 8 of The ghosts we both see
“What you and Sirius have confuses me. The brother I grew up with was not capable of it.”
“People change,” Remus says.
“I know he’s told you about some of it,” Regulus says. “The only person I ever loved when I was alive was Sirius and he was the only one who loved me. There was no one else who cared.”
from Part III, Chapter 6 of The ghosts we both see
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 26/32
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes
Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Harry Potter, Marlene McKinnon, Mary Macdonald, Dorcas Meadowes, Regulus Black, Peter Pettigrew, Rubeus Hagrid, Petunia Evans Dursley, Vernon Dursley, Hope Lupin, Lyall Lupin
Additional Tags: i really don't know how to tag this fic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Remus Lupin Lives, Chronically Ill Remus Lupin, Cemetery, Sirius Black Lives, Falling In Love, Ghosts, Haunted Houses, Happy Ending, Marauders, wolfstar, Canonical Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Raise Harry Potter, eventually, Implied Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, Strangers to Lovers, Modern Era, Texting, Mutual Pining, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mild Sexual Content, Bittersweet Ending, Happy but Bittersweet, Living Together, Domestic Fluff, Grief/Mourning
Series: Part 1 of The ghosts and other hauntings
Summary:
Sometimes, he feels like he spends more time around dead people than he does live ones.
Or, Remus works in a cemetery, Sirius visits his best friend's grave.
Or, a story about life, death, healing, and all sorts of love.
Remus pauses, opens his mouth then closes it, before he tries again. “He’s staying with us indefinitely. The social worker assured us it could become permanent.”
Remus’s mother takes a pause too, and Remus can practically hear her turning his words over in her mind. She takes a breath before she speaks again.
“And is that something you want?” she asks, words careful. “For it to be permanent?”
“Yes,” Remus says, without any hesitation. “Yes, I do.”
“Oh, Remus,” she says. “You’re quite happy, aren’t you?”
