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Reporter: We’re here with fifteen year old Peter Parker, who fended off a kidnapper earlier today. How did you do it Peter?

Peter, trying not to out his secret identity:

#marvel #avengers #mcu #comics #peter parker #spider man #spiderman #john mulaney #the comeback kid #jj bittenbinder #the bittenbinder method #street smarts

OKAY LISTEN UP IF YOU LIKE SUPERNATURAL AND JOHN MULANEY THIS IS IMPORTANT

I have a theory

Hear me out

So first here is a little timeline.

J.J. Bittenbinder joined the Chicago P.D. in 1971.

John and Mary Winchester got married in 1975

Dean was then born on January 24th, 1979.

John Mulaney was born on August 26th, 1982 in Chicago.

A fun and possible theory is that John Winchester was in Chicago and met Ellen Muleney in July of 1982. He was in Chicago for work and I believe he was doing some everyday thing and ran into Ellen Muleney and saved her life by accident. She thanks him profusely and he spends the day with her, to make sure she was okay since she was 8 months pregnant. Now, since John Winchester was so nice, Ellen decides to name her son (to be born a month later) after her lifesaver. John then goes back to Kansas where Mary gets pregnant that August with Sam.

That is a side theory, here is the real one.

I own John Winchester’s Hunting Journal that I bought at a book sale. I was going through the dates of 1987, where Dean would have been in 3rd grade. On May 17th, 1987, John W. writes in his journal “Already, I’m trying to figure out what to do about school in the fall. I’m starting to figure out that you can move a kid from school to school every month”. However, later on January 24th, 1988, (Dean’s ninth birthday) John W. writes “He’s (Dean) been in three schools already this year. Who knows how many more?”. So, this means that Dean had been to three different schools between September 1987 and January 1988, a mere four months. However, in these four months, we don’t have any intel on where the Winchesters were.

I think I know.

We know that J.J. Bittenbinder gave his assembly about “Street Smarts” in the 1980s (every year) and according to John Muleney, he heard this speech when he was 7 years old, the second grade. An assembly is given to the entire school, not just one class so it was an elementary school. Dean was 8 in 1987 (third grade, elementary school). Therefore, I can say, with almost certainty, that Dean Winchester attended a J.J. Bittenbinder assembly about Street Smarts and absolutely loved it.

You cannot tell me that Dean would not worship a man who told him how to stay safe and who wore a cowboy hat.

So the Winchesters were in Chicago in September of 1987.

Now, here is a little more. Dean would come home and tell Sam all about the Bittenbinder method and Sam would love it. Love it so much that he wanted to grow up to be just like J.J. Bittenbinder. Now, Sam “abandoned” the Wichester family to attend Law school. Now, why would Sam Wincerster want to attend law school? I believe that it is because Sam wanted to become a police officer like J.J. Bittenbinder but it was too similar to the family business, so he did the next closest thing, Law school. I also believe that the Bittenbbinder method helped Sam on at LEAST 1 LSAT question.

#supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #john winchester #mary winchester #spn #spn season 15 #john mulaney #ellen mulaney #New Kid #street smarts #jj bittenbinder #the bittenbinder method #chicago #kid gorgeous #new in town

Peter Porker aka John “don’t fuck with me” Mulaney🐷💥🕸

((Video creds go to Spider-man Noir on Youtube))

#john mulaney #peter porker #spiderverse #spiderman #spider ham #motherfucker #the bittenbinder method #edit #dubbing #dubbed #edits #i couldn’t resist #this man is my hero #you got a problem with cartoons?

WWJJBD

What would J. J. Bittenbinder do?

#the bittenbinder method

Mad-Eye Moody is the J.J. Bittenbinder of the Harry Potter universe

S T R E E T S M A R T S!!!!!!!

#John Mulaney #Bittenbinder #The Bittenbinder Method #STREETSMARTS

Reporter in Oz: We're here today with Princess Ozma, who fended off the Nome King earlier today. How did you do it, Princess?

Ozma: Well, thank ya for askin'. I used the Bittenbinder Method. When I saw the Nome King approachin' in my Magic Mirror, I magicked dust into the tunnel his armies were digging. Now I've thrown him off his rhythm. Then I hide in my garden where I had planted a Fountain of Oblivion, and he drinks, and I go "Whoah! Who're you?" And he goes "I don't know. I never seen these armies before." I go "Boo-hoo, they're your's. You're a peaceful king and you must command them to march home." Now he's leavin'! Then I grabbed the magic belt and I wished all the Whimsies and Growleywogs and Phanfasms back to their homes. 'Cause as any citizen of Oz will tell ya, a Magic Belt doesn't leave bruises.