Batman fighting his Rouges Gallery all at once (some big convoluted plan no one knows the full extent of) but some IDIOT touched a very ancient amulet when they were told SPECIFICALLY NOT TO and now Batman is looking after various partially homicidal toddlers.
You can tell a cat to keep their paws off, but really, is it all Selinas fault? Yes. Yes, absolutely it is, and the indignant wailing of a tiny baby girl in a cat onesie is proof. As Batman scoops baby Selina into his arms, he's gently shhing her, trying to avoid touching the weird necklace she dropped when smoke had filled the room.
Just as he was about to question where the other villains ran off to, the rest of the smoke in the warehouse dissipated, revealing... oh gods, that was a lot of upset babies.
A pudgy little boy was waving about a toy umbrella, babbling nonsense he nearly smacked another boy with a heavily scarred face and mismatched socks. Harvey looked ready to ball at any moment, while Cobblepot seemed to be taking pleasure in prodding Two Face with the umbrella toy. Before the pair could fight, Batman pulled them into his arms as well, Harvey clinging to a now calm Selina.
A few feet away, a little girl in a black and red tutu was giggling madly at the antics of a boy in a purple baby suit, the duo perhaps the only kids smiling at all. Every time the boy flailed and made noises, the girl cheered, clapping and wiggling her legs. Harley and Joker at least seemed content with the situation they were in, giving Batman time to assess everyone else before he called for help.
An itty bitty redheaded girl was playing mostly by herself, her little fists grabbing at the weeds that broke through the concrete warehouse floor, almost like she was trying to pet them. Unlucky for Pamela and the plants, she lacked any dexterity at all when reduced to this age, and the petting was more like pulling. Next to her, a boy in icy blue was crying his little head off, his toy gun in a half melted heap from the boy next to him, who seemed intent on keeping the flame alive. Who had given a baby a lighter would be a question he asked later, for now he had to separate Victor and Garfield, Batman using his foot to scoot Garfield as far away from the flaming toy as possible.
The call to Alfred went as horrible as he expected. A stifled laugh, a reassurance that help was on the way, and a mild tease on Batman tendency to pick up new wards later, and Batman had managed to at least wrangle the Toddler Terrors into the Batmobile without any major road blocks. His head in his hands, when Nightwing showed up to laugh some more, the absurdity of the situation finally caught up to him.
Catwoman, Penguin, Two Face, Harley Quinn, Joker, Poison Ivy, Mr Freeze, and Firefly all not only manged to mess up their very detailed plan to take over Gotham, but they also all turned themselves into babies trying. It was hilarious.
