A fic where Jo has a miscarriage pre-16x16 and Alex comes back to pick up the pieces
Was this supposed to be only two chapter? Yes... we’re not going to talk about that though...
TW: Miscarriage
The next few days consisted of more of the same. Jo and Alex walked on eggshells around each other, neither of them wanting to break the silence looming heavily in the loft, which was only interrupted by the occasional sound from the television or the clanging of a dish in the kitchen. Maybe that's why it was so shocking when they heard a knock at the door.
"Hey evil spawn, hairball, open up!'"
Alex walked up to the door and pulled it open. He scrunched his face in confusion, "Yang? What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?"
"I get mail you moron. I’ve seen the return address,” Cristina invited herself into the loft. She scanned the place the Karevs called home and her eyes landed on Jo’s blank face. “Altman and Pierce called me a couple days ago to help them out with an experimental surgery that's only ever been done a handful of times around the world, my hospital and my hands being one of them. I'm performing and teaching the residents all about the procedure. Surgery is tomorrow. I was at Mer's house visiting with the kids and I heard that you might be here," Sensing the tension in the room, Cristina turned her attention to Alex. "How about you and I go outside and talk for a bit?"
Alex looked at Cristina and quickly realized that she wouldn't give him the option of saying no. He glanced back at Jo before looking back at Cristina, "Okay, I'll go."
The moment they walked outside, Cristina slapped Alex upside the head.
"Ow! What was that for?" Alex rubbed his head.
"That's for being a dumbass," they walked for a few more minutes before Cristina spoke up again. "Are you an idiot? Are you mentally challenged?"
"Mer told you, didn't she?" Alex grumbled.
"She didn't have to," Cristina shook her head in disbelief. "You fell off the face of the earth for weeks. I know we don't talk that much, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. She had a miscarriage and instead of you comforting her like you're supposed to, you looked terrified that something will set her off. Do you know how crappy it feels to miscarry? I wasn't planning on even continuing my pregnancy and I was still a wreck when Addison had to go in and remove my fallopian tube. And on top of that, you cheated on her?"
"I didn't know she was pregnant when I slept with Izzie," Alex tried defending himself. "Jo didn't even know until she miscarried."
"And that’s supposed to make it okay?” Cristina punched him in the side. “You slept with Izzie? Of all people? Come on Alex, I knew you were stupid but I didn’t think you were stupid enough to sleep with the one person who consistently used you and never really cared about your well-being unless if it was of some sort of benefit to her. Where’s your self-respect?”
Alex grunted, “I don’t know.”
“That’s why you feel like shit now,” Cristina stated. “You should feel like shit. You should be crying bitch baby tears. What possessed you to make such a colossal mistake. And don’t go say something about how you still love Izzie because we both know that’s not true. You fell out of love with Izzie a long time ago. You fell out of love with her before you ever fell in love with Jo. And Jo… I wish someone loved me the way you love her. Which is what makes this situation so much worse.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Alex released a breath. “I don’t know how to fix this.”
“I don’t think it’s about fixing anything,” Cristina stopped to get a good look at him. “It’s about owning up to your mistake and figuring out if you’re able to move forward. You can’t take it back and you can’t make it better. You’ve got to regain her trust.”
“Easier said than done,” Alex muttered under his breath.
“Go to the hospital and cut into some kids or something,” Cristina waved her hand. “Get out of here. Let me talk to your wife.”
“I don’t know Yang,” Alex frowned uncertainly. “You’re not exactly the warmest person.”
“Shut up,” Cristina scowled at him. “I can be sensitive. Now seriously, go. Give me some time before I change my mind.”
+++
“Wilson! Get up from the bed. It’s time to take a shower and put on a different shirt,” Cristina bellowed as she walked back into the loft. She walked around towards the bed and pulled the covers off of Jo. “Come on. It’s already past noon. You’ve got to at least pretend like you care about personal hygiene.”
“Leave me alone,” Jo groaned and pulled the pillow over her head, muffling her speech. “And it’s Karev, not Wilson.”
“Is it?” Cristina raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t sure if it still would be you know after everything.”
Jo pulled the pillow off of her face and looked at Cristina waringly, “It’s still Karev. I want to be a Karev.”
“So you’re not planning on leaving evil spawn any time soon?” Cristina sat on the edge of the bed, waiting expectantly for Jo to respond.
Jo appeared lost in thought, “I don’t know. I don’t want to. But I can’t live like this either.”
“Live like what exactly?”
“Live in fear that one day, Alex is going to grow tired of his life with me and leave me for a simpler one that includes an ex-wife and a couple of kids in Kansas,” Jo depanned.
“Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now?” Cristina snorted. “Alex would rather cut off his hands than leave you and Seattle. Do you know how many opportunities he’s had to up and leave this place and he’s stayed? If you’re here, it doesn’t give him much motivation to leave.”
“I don’t think I’m his priority anymore,” Jo chewed on her lip. “He has kids now.”
“How sure are we that those are his kids anyway?” Cristina tilted her head in thought. “Don’t get me wrong. I love Izzie, she was my friend at one point. But she doesn’t exactly have the best moral compass. Sure, she loved Alex, but she loved more what he could do for her. I wouldn’t put it past her to try to pass those kids off as his in an effort to get him back.”
“That’s crazy,” Jo sat up. “No sane person would do something like that.”
“Exactly.”
Whether it was the absurdity of the whole situation or the fact that Cristina was so serious, Jo burst out in laughter, “Oh God.”
Jo’s laughter rang through the loft, “My husband cheated on me with his ex-wife and they have kids together all while I was here having a miscarriage. I had a miscarriage… I had a miscarriage and I was alone. Alex wasn’t there. He cheated on me. Alex cheated on me. Isn’t that the most outrageous thing you’ve ever heard?”
Slowly, Jo’s laughs morphed into heavy sobs. They wracked her body for quite some time as she finally allowed herself to break for the first time since coming home. She hadn’t wanted to do it in front of Alex. Despite partially being the reason for her pain, Jo didn’t want to make him feel any worse than he already felt. Because if there was one thing Jo knew, it was that as much as she would struggle to forgive him, Alex would probably never forgive himself.
Once her cries died down, Cristina rubbed a hand on Jo’s shoulder gently, “Come on. It’s time to shower. You smell bad.”
Jo let out a watery laugh, “Okay I’m getting up.” She stood up from the bed and turned to look at Cristina. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Cristina nodded. “I’ll be here when you get out.”
True to her word, Cristina was waiting for Jo when she stepped out of the shower, “I don’t cook. Or clean. You know this. We’ve lived together before. But I toasted some bagels if you want one.”
Jo made her way over to the table and grabbed a bagel, spreading a generous amount of cream cheese on it, “Why are you still here?”
“Because I told you I would be,” Cristina shoved a handful of cereal into her mouth.
“Come on Yang, we’re not friends. You don’t owe me anything. Why are you here?” Jo asked, waiting patiently for a response from the woman standing across from her.
Cristina sighed and put down the box of cereal, “Because I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there before.”
“What?” Jo’s face scrunched in confusion.
“It was my intern year. I was sleeping with my attending and I got pregnant,” Cristina started. “I don’t want kids. I never wanted them. But for some reason I struggled a lot with the decision I was going to have to make in the coming weeks. I had finally decided to tell my attending and attempt some semblance of a relationship with him. I hoped it might give me some clarity.” She paused for a moment and looked at Jo. “When I approached him, he broke up with me. Never even got a chance to tell him that I was pregnant. So, I made an appointment. I told Meredith that I was planning to get an abortion and she promised to be there to take me home.”
“I never made it there, though,” Cristina shook her head. “I was observing a surgery that he was performing when I passed out on the OR floor. They paged Addison Montgomery and I was rushed into surgery. Turns out the pregnancy had been ectopic and my Fallopian tube burst. They ended up removing it and I lost the baby… I don’t want kids. I didn’t want to be pregnant or raise a kid. It didn’t fit into my plans. I had planned to terminate. I was sure that it was right for me. But it didn’t make the loss any easier. It didn’t make the fact that I miscarried any less painful. I grieved. I was a wreck. They had to sedate me.” Cristina huffed a laugh. “That’s why I’m here. Because I get it.”
In all honesty, Jo had no idea what to say after Cristina’s story. She never would have imagined sitting across the room with Cristina Yang talking about miscarriages. They weren’t close, not at all. They never spoke for more than a few minutes about things that weren’t work related. Seeing Yang open up to her in this way was foreign.
“I’m sorry,” Jo finally said. “I don’t wish it on anyone.”
“Neither do I,” Cristina grew quiet. She reached over the table and put a comforting hand on Jo’s shoulder. “You're going to get through this. I know you will because you’re stronger than I ever will be. We’ve been through some hard things, but we survived. You’ll survive this and you’ll be happy again someday. And maybe you’ll be a mom again, if that’s what you choose. Whether it’s through birth or being a stepmom to Alex’s kids or both. You have choices. They’re yours to make. No one else’s.”
“Thank you,” Jo swallowed back some tears. “For that reminder. It’s my choice. I’ve been trying so hard to figure out what someone else would do in my shoes that I forgot that I don’t need to depend on the approval of others. It comes down to what I’m willing to lose.”
Jo looked up at Cristina, “I want to get out of this house. Even if it’s just for a few hours.”
“Okay, where do you want to go?”
“I don’t know… anywhere that isn’t here,” Jo shrugged.
“Have you ever been to the space needle? I haven’t and I lived here for seven years. I almost did once, never made it though,” Cristina mentioned.
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been to the space needle,” Jo replied.
the one where they met in med school - part twenty-three
i think you all can tell by the gif what’s coming in this fic...
this one is one our favorites enjoy! - @iamtrebleclefstories @doc-pickles & Nat
if you haven’t read parts 1-22, you can find them here
Also... this has some M rated content. Read at your own discretion ;)
(March 2009 cont.)
Jo was exhausted, more so than she’d ever thought she had been before. Her day had been shitty, she’d been barfed on twice, and she hadn’t seen Alex since she rolled out of bed that morning. The moment that Shepherd came up to her and let her know that she could leave for the day, she jumped at the opportunity and rushed to change out of her scrubs as quickly as possible. All she wanted at the moment was to get into the loft, take off her shoes, and drink a bottle of wine while her and Alex snuggled on the couch.
Of course, why would anything work out for her? The door was jammed, something that it had a habit of doing in the winter months that drove her insane. Despite her upper body strength, she was never quite able to pry the heavy metal door open without Alex’s help. A groan left her as she began to dig through her purse in search of her phone. She didn’t think Alex was home, meaning she would have to call him and then wait for him to get there before she could get in.
Frustrated tears welled in her eyes as she struggled to find her phone, the emotions she’d been holding back all day coming to a head when she realized she would be stuck in the hallway until Alex came home. The small inconvenience was the tipping point for her as she slid down the door and began to cry loudly.
“Jo? What are you doing?” the door opened suddenly, Jo falling backwards as Alex pulled it back. She looked up from her place on the floor, eyes staring up at Alex in confusion. “Why are you crying? What’s wrong?”
“I couldn’t open the door,” Jo made no effort to move from her spot laid out on the floor as she cried. “And then I couldn’t find my phone and I got puked on today and I just want some wine.”
Alex kneeled down next to her, a small smile on his lips as he brushed her hair out of her face, “I have wine inside, you gotta get up though.”
Jo took Alex’s outstretched hand, standing up and following him into their apartment. The living room was dark, the lights off but the room illuminated by dozens of candles that laid out everywhere. Jo turned around to look at Alex, who wore a crooked grin on his face as she looked up at him, “Wh—how? How’d you do all this?”
“Bailey let me go early,” Alex shrugged, wrapping his arms around Jo’s waist. “I wanted to surprise you.”
Jo blinked once, twice, a third time before a gasp escaped her and her brain caught up with what was happening. The candles, the button up shirt her boyfriend was wearing, the stupid grin on Alex’s face… It all made sense now, “You let me lay on the floor? You’re planning on proposing and you let me lay on the damn floor?!”
“I got you to stand up! If I had known you were gonna lay on the floor I would have stopped you,” Alex laughed, kissing Jo sweetly before pulling back. “Now there’s something I’ve gotta do. It’s a little cheesy, but…”
Jo watched in shock and awe as Alex kneeled down in front of her, grasping her hands in his as he looked up at her with a stupid grin, “Before you, I was just some stupid selfish kid riding through life without a care in the world. And then I met you and something in my stupid brain told me that you were different, you were worth it. And for some reason I decided to listen to that little part of my brain and… it was the best decision I could’ve made. Before I met you I always wanted to run, but I couldn’t run from you, not when you feel so much like home. Not when you’re the only person who’s loved me for exactly who I am… You’re so screwed up that you make me make sense. You and me, we just fit. And I want it all with you, everything else that happens from here on out I want you there with me, Jo. So…”
Alex reached into his pocket, Jo’s breath hitching in her throat as she watched in slow motion as he opened the velvet box in his hands. The stupid cheesy grin on his face seemed to grow tenfold as he stared up at her with teary, hopeful eyes, “Josephine Wilson, will you please do me the immense honor of becoming my wife?”
“Yes! Hell yes, a million times yes,” Jo leaned down and pressed her hands against Alex’s cheeks, kissing him soundly as she struggled to hold back her tears. “This makes up for all the barf and the laying on the floor.”
Alex laughed as he let a few tears escape his eyes. He stood up and slid the ring he’d spent the past two weeks obsessing over on Jo’s finger, marveling at the sight of it finally on her hand. He stared at her for a couple seconds, in awe of the woman in front of him. This was real. Jo had actually agreed to marry him.
Jo must’ve noticed his amused expression because she looked at him weirdly, “What?”
“Nothing,” Alex shrugged, a light chuckle escaping. “It’s just… out of everything in the history of my life, nothing has surprised me more than getting you to agree to marry me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Jo brought her hand up to his face again. “I love you. I love you more than I ever thought possible. You make me feel safe and at home. You are my heart. Why wouldn’t I want to marry you?”
At that moment, Alex didn’t really think there were words that could articulate everything he wanted to say to Jo. So, he did what he did best. He decided to show her.
Leaning in for another kiss, Alex wrapped his arms around Jo, pulling her close to him. Jo buried her hands in his hair, kissing him back as if he was the very air she needed to breathe. When they finally parted, Alex allowed his lips to trail down the column of her throat. He let Jo’s soft gasps and whimpers be his guide as he led them over to the couch just a few feet away.
Jo giggled as they fell back onto the couch cushions, “Really? The couch. We just got engaged and you want to have sex on the couch? The bed is right there.”
“I’m impatient,” Alex’s hands found their way underneath her shirt and teased her exposed skin, causing Jo to shiver. “And I really don’t think you want me to stop, so I’m going to keep going. Besides, I told Shepherd we weren’t coming in tomorrow, so we’ve got all night to celebrate.”
“All night?” Jo raised her eyebrows. “Is that a promise?”
“Oh, definitely,” Alex’s lips curved into a smug grin. “You aren’t gonna know what hit you.”
“Well then why are you still talking? Get to work,” Jo ordered as she stripped off her shirt and began to unbutton Alex’s.
“Yes, ma’am,” Alex laughed as he helped her undress him and bent down to press light kisses along the edge of her bra. He played with the straps before reaching behind her to unhook it. He grinned as Jo’s breasts were finally exposed and leaned forward to kiss between her cleavage. “God, you are so beautiful. I love you so damn much.”
“You just love my boobs,” Jo teased. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
“I do. I really do love your boobs,” Alex confirmed, not even looking the slightest bit embarrassed at having said it. “But I don’t hear you complaining about the attention I give them.”
“Oh no, by all means, please continue,” Jo grinned brightly as she watched him excitedly return to kissing her breasts.
Alex took his time giving each breast an equal amount of attention, taking each nipple in his mouth and swelling with pride as he saw Jo’s chest rise and fall and her back arch in response to his ministrations. Her chest and cheeks were flushed and her breaths were becoming more shallow, signaling that she was highly aroused and well on her way to what he was sure would be an intense climax.
He loved that he could do this for her. He loved that he could make her feel this much pleasure. He loved that he could make her feel desired and cherished. It was humbling and thrilling all at the same time. The fact that they were engaged now, only made the thought that much more incredible. For the rest of their lives, he’d be the only one who would get to see her this way.
“Alex,” Jo breathed out softly, pulling him from his thoughts. “No more teasing. I need you, right now.”
With an understanding nod, Alex let his hands slide down to Jo’s hips, unbuttoning her jeans and quickly pulling them off. He stood to remove his own pants, heart swelling at the look Jo fixed him with, “What's that look for?”
“Nothing, I just really love you,” Jo grinned as she rose up on her knees and reached for Alex, bringing him down into a searing kiss. “And I really can’t wait to take your last name.”
Alex paused and looked at her strangely, “You want to take my last name?”
“I mean, yeah if it’s alright with you,” Jo shrugged shyly. “I know it isn’t common for female surgeons to do that anymore, but I just… I’d really like to take your last name, because I’ve never had the last name of anyone who’s ever loved me.”
“I love you so much, future Dr. Karev,” a chuckle left Alex as Jo pushed him down onto the couch, legs straddling his waist as she brought their lips together again. Her hot core was grinding down onto his throbbing erection, a groan coming from Alex as he wrapped his arms around Jo’s waist, “God, I’ve been thinking about this all damn day.”
“Well I’m glad I can finally give you what you want, Dr. Karev,” a smirk crossed Jo’s face as she sunk down onto Alex in one swift move, both of them letting a groan of relief out. Alex buried his face into Jo’s neck, his tongue darting out to tease at the hot skin as she began to move at a tortuously slow rate above him. “This makes my whole day worth it.”
The pace Jo set was good, she felt perfect around him, but Alex needed more. Watching her moan and writhe above him had set something off within him and he wanted to savor the moment. With a x quick flip in position, Alex laid Jo down on the couch, pressing his hips into hers and eliciting a loud moan from her as she adjusted to the new position.
Alex watched in fascination as Jo’s back arched off the couch with each long thrust he made, her mouth agape as she let her moans fill the hot air between them. Bracing his hands on both sides of her head, Alex leaned down to bite at Jo’s neck again, his teeth marking her skin as he let the pace of his thrusts quicken.
“Alex… oh my god,” Jo’s voice was impossibly high pitched as she let her nails dig into Alex’s back, spurring him on to keep his wild pace up as she began to move her hips in time with them. He’d wanted to take things slow, to cherish Jo and worship her body after she had agreed to become his wife, but she’d had other plans and he knew as soon as she’d sat astride his lap earlier that he’d be a goner, succumbing to whatever it was that she wanted from him. “More, please more.”
Wasting no time in heeding Jo’s request Alex grabbed one of her legs and brought it up to wrap around his hips, letting him hit her at a deeper angle as he increased the speed of his thrusts. He could feel the way that he bottomed out with each movement of his hips, disjointed moans coming from Jo as her nails raked down his arms and grasped at the burning skin.
Alex and Jo had had sex hundreds of times before this, they’d used every available flat surface they could find to get in each other’s pants. But this, this desperate and hot session on their couch was something that Alex didn’t think he would ever be able to forget. Jo’s breathy moans and the way she called his name as she neared her release imprinted themselves into his brain, his mind tucking away the image of her letting out a slow and throaty moan as she came, her eyes flitting up to meet Alex’s in a love drunk haze.
“You look gorgeous,” his words were low, almost a growl as his thrusts began to turn sloppy. Pressing his forehead against Jo’s, Alex let their lips ghost over each other as his own orgasm crept up inside of him. “I love you… I love you so much.”
Alex dipped his head down to Jo’s neck as he finally let himself go, spilling inside of her as she let out a desperate moan. The two laid still for a moment as they came to, letting themselves catch their breath and relish in the moment. When he finally did move, Alex laid himself out on the couch and brought Jo into his chest.
“I can’t believe you proposed to me,” Jo giggled, holding her hand up to inspect the ring that now graced her left hand. “I mean I knew you would eventually, but I’m still shocked. I didn’t think I’d ever get a happy ending.”
“You deserve everything good in this life, Jo. And I will do everything in my power to make sure we have a very happy life together,” Alex said, while Jo cuddled into his chest, his arm around her body.
“What is this? Are we exchanging vows now?” Jo chuckled.
“No, but I wanted you to know that this is what I’ve been preparing for. I am ready to make sure we have a life full of all that crap we see on those stupid romantic movies you make me watch,” he grunted, pretending to be mad, but not being able to hide the sweetness and happiness in his voice.
“I am sure we will have a very happy life together,” she smiled at him brightly and let out a dreamy sigh as she stared at her ring. “I can’t wait to be a Karev.”
“Jo Karev does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t?” Alex nodded and placed a kiss to her forehead.
“It sure does,” Jo grinned widely.
“I love you,” he pecked her lips.
“I love you too, fiancé.”
AHHHHHH!! It finally happened. What did you guys think? What do you want to see next?
As a part of the Tales from the Peninsula universe. [Brackets mean the name might change and currently corresponds to the maps posted earlier].
From left to right:
Ivan Karev (FC: Alexander Skarsgard), ~45, King of [Temlia] - A benevolent king, caring father and a deeply unhappy man. When Ivan turned 20, his father died, leaving the throne to Ivan, who took the crown with pride, vowing to be a just and good king, one that his people would love. A few years later, during a diplomatic trip to the Northern Realms, he met an [Essan] woman named Alisa, and fell madly in love with her. At first, everything was fine between them -- they had 3 daughters, and Ivan was very happy. But then one day Alisa vanished into thin air, leaving him with their children -- the youngest was only two weeks old. Ivan was confused, heartbroken, fell into despair, and yet, all these years have passed and the only thing he knows are vague rumors that his wife has been seen somewhere in her homeland. Despite his heartbreak he didn’t lose sight of his duties, being present in his daughter’s lives rather than simply handing them off to wet nurses and tutors, which has turned him into a rather protective, sometimes even overbearing father. He’s good. You could say he is too good for his own good, always putting the needs of others before him, which now, when his daughters are all grown up, has worn him out and sent him into melancholy, which only gets worse as the years pass.
Vera Kareva (FC:Ginta Lapiņa), ~20, the eldest of the three princesses, she takes the most after her father. When she was about 6 years old, her mother vanished without a trace, and over the years she has grown bitter and resentful towards her, not wanting to know what happened to her. She takes after her father, being diplomatic and level-headed, and her biggest fear is that people will think of her as just some pretty face and that they’ll try to take advantage of her, try and use her as a puppet for their political games. And she has no clue how gay she is.
Nadezhda Kareva (FC: Kerli Kõiv), ~18, the second daughter of Ivan and Alisa, she takes after her mother -- a free spirit, drawn to the wilds. She dislikes living in the busy city and nothing makes her happier than to get away to the Royal countryside estates. If she could have it her way, she, too, would dissapear into the wilds, go to her Northern roots and participate in their polytheistic, polyamorous pagan lifestyle, but her father would never allow it. Not that she thinks that her father is much of an authority, really. She loves him, but she’s far too stubborn to live as boring of a life as he’d like her to.
Lyubov Kareva (FC: Polina Gagarina), ~16, the youngest of three, abandoned by her mother at just two weeks of age, Lyuba is Ivan’s problem child, but also his favorite. Don’t be fooled by her angelic looks, she’s as stubborn as a mule and a temper like no other. Things seem to catch on fire around her at random. She seems to have an endless source of energy, yet it can rarely be directed into something productive, if she doesn’t find it interesting, so sitting through royal events and being tutored on etiquette is The Worst(tm). She’d much rather be outside with the boys, practicing her swordsmanship skills and/or flirting with everyone her age, no matter peasant or noble.
Nikolai Karev (FC:Tom Hardy), ~41, Ivan’s brother. He used to be the black sheep of the family, getting into all kinds of unprincely behavior (getting blackout wasted every night for a week straight on more than one occasion) when he was younger, but over the years he seems to have mellowed out, especially after Ivan delegated a province under his rule. The Brooding Gay Lumberjack Type, but make it Royal.
@laurennausiello on Instagram : so uh yeah my absolute favorite show @greysabc , the characters Alex karev (@officialjustinchambers) and jo karev ( @camillaluddington ) sent this to me from my famous uncle @michaelausiello 😩😩😩😍😍😍.
Jo correcting everyone that she’s now Karev? Cleared my skin. Jo wearing dark blue scrubs? Watered my crops. Alex having a picture from their wedding on his desk in his new office? Cured my depression
