Author’s summary: Trapped in the confines of number twelve Grimmauld Place, Ron and Hermione find themselves plunged head-first into a sea of lust. Will they be able to fight the current, or get pulled down by the undertow?
Why everyone should read this: I was blown away the first time I read this fic. The author uses vivid and unusual imagery to depict the erotically charged situation Ron and Hermione find themselves in. The story is told from Hermione’s perspective, and begins with the piano scene from the Deathly Hallows film before exploring the possibilities that follow. It’s an intense journey through the “what ifs?” from their time at Grimmauld Place, and it sucks you in completely.
Excerpt:
My heart is a fist pounding on my ribcage as our lips are pulled together and meet in a dulcet, lingering kiss. His mouth folds over my bottom lip, and this slight pressure seems to tug at my soul. My body is a sponge, and I soak up the kiss, letting it fill every pore in my body with fire. The sensation is euphoric.
My knees unhinge.
But then Ron begins to pull away every so slightly, our lips part, and a small space is created between them that crackles with static. He breathes out slowly as he pulls his hand away from my face.
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May 2018 Jily Challenge - TV Show AUs @jilychallenge
@inakindofdaydream vs. @therozzy
Prompt: Phoebe/Mike Friends AU - i'm on a romantic break with my friends and new boyfriend after you broke my heart but wait "why are you here? wait why are you getting down on one knee? oh my gOD”
ao3
“James.”
“Uh, no, actually it’s Nigel.”
Her pompadoured boyfriend was in front of her -- down on one knee no less -- but her attention was caught entirely by the familiar face she could see walking towards her over Nigel’s blond pouf.
“No -- I mean -- yes, I know -- I mean...James,” she sputtered, “is standing right behind you.”
“Lily,” James said.
“What are you doing here?”
“I need to ask you a question.”
“Uh, actually, I was just about to ask her a question myself--” started Nigel, rising from the ground and fumbling back into his chair across from Lily.
____________
The Day Before
Marlene McKinnon to Sirius Black
MM: We’ve got a problem
Sirius
Sirius Black
Missed call to Sirius Black from Marlene McKinnon
YO, BITCH, THIS IS SOME SERIOUS BUSINESS
Missed call to Sirius Black from Marlene McKinnon
HEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY
SB: mckinnon
doll
sweetface
you do realize we are on a tropical vacation
and my sexywolfishmoonybf is here
who i was TRYING to seduce
btw
in case you were wondering
MM: Babbington is going to propose to Lily
SB: asdkjhfgkjdfgsadfkjfh
MM: She’s going to say yes
Sirius Black call to Marlene McKinnon
____________
“I haven’t seen you in months,” she said as James approached the table
“Alright, I guess I’ll just let you borrow her for a moment,” Nigel said sarcastically, “want to borrow my chair too?”
“Yeah, that’d be great,” said James, sliding into his chair and knocking Nigel out of it easily and in one motion, but his eyes never left Lily’s.
It was completely unfair, she thought. He had shattered her heart and left her alone and yet here he was, out of nowhere, looking like that. He was sharp lines and ruffled edges. His warm eyes were boring into her and she wanted to climb into their hazel depths. Underneath them were deep shadows which did nothing to dampen the bright hopefulness that overcame is face. It wasn’t fair, that he still have this much power over her.
It probably wasn’t fair to Nigel either, but that thought got buried far beneath the others.
“Lily,” he said again, “I still love you.”
She made a noise, or maybe it was Nigel; all her senses had gone pretty James-centric.
“I love you too,” she said, because she did.
A crash sounded from somewhere to her right that probably was Nigel.
“Don’t you dare!” and Sirius.
“These past few months have been horrible, miserable without you. And I know it’s my fault, but I thought that this was for the best, that I was giving you a chance for a better life.”
Lily knew this of course, she’d been there when they’d argued, then cried, then argued again, and then finally said goodbye. She knew that it’d taken Marlene days to get her to leave the apartment, that she’d finally said yes to going out again, that she’d run into an old flame at a bar and they’d been getting along well enough, that a few moments ago he’d been about to ask her an important question, and that he was currently being restrained by a giggling Sirius Black.
But goddammit, James Potter comes walking in and nothing else matters.
______________
Lily Evans to Marlene McKinnon
LE: Thanks for setting Pads on me
MM: np
LE: I know you guys think you’re helping, but this is good, I promise
MM: I bet you three pina coladas that that you can’t say he isn’t a boring blob of a human to my face
LE: I can buy you a piña colada without you shitting on my almost-fiance.
MM: SHIT. THE MAN STUDIES SHIT FOR A LIVING. THAT IS WHO YOU ARE SIGNING UP TO BE BURIED NEXT TO
LE: I’m getting engaged, not dying.
MM: the fact that you don’t see this as relevant proves that you are not thinking straight
LILY WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS FOR GODSSAKE
LE: I’m glad we’re doing this over text, I can save this conversation to show my kids
MM: I THINK I JUST VOMITED
LE: thanks
MM: Lily this whole rebound thing has gone too far, maybe you should talk to him
LE: Stop
Don’t you dare
He has nothing to do with this okay
You know me, I want to get married and have kids and do the whole domestic thing. So what else would a reasonable person do when a nice, good-looking guy comes along who’s willing to do all that?
MM: Lils
You deserve SO much better than ‘willing’
LE: Look Marly, I already found the love of my life. It just wasn’t meant to last the whole of my life. And that’s fine, right now I want someone who wants what I want.
MM: But you want more than 2.5 kids and a white picket fence
Besides, Babbington is not the only fool with a pompadour willing to get domestic with you
Honestly, what is it with you and guys who are into their hair
Hell, there are plenty of interesting POMPADOUR-LESS guys out there.
LE: Ha
MM: Lils, I love you. I don’t want to see you make a mistake.
LE: that’s the thing though, I do love him.
I love James
FUCK
NO
FUCK YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
BABBINGTON
FUCK
NIGEL
MM: I’m taking this as permission btw
LE: FUCK FOR WHAT MARLENE
MARLENE MCKINNON WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HEY
Missed call to Marlene McKinnon from Lily Evans
______________
“James…” she didn’t know what’d she meant to say, if anything.
“But then I realized, we are the best thing. Us, together. You have made me such a better person, and damn it all if it isn’t my goal in life to make you happy.”
“You make me better too.”
He grinned, “I like to think so, but you weren’t the one accidentally set that garden shed on fire.”
She smiled back, “But you weren’t the one who came up with your alibi.”
“MAKEOUT ALREADY!” yelled Marlene, reminding them they had an audience at the other table and probably, after Nigel’s scuffles and her outburst, the entire restaurant.
“Lily, what I mean to say is, what I came all the way out here to say is, well...” he was starting to ramble, “I think we should go at it together from now on --” Marlene whistled, “Life, I mean, we should go at Life together, and well, everything.”
____________
Sirius Black to Marlene McKinnon
SB: We could kidnap one of them
MM: Who?
SB: Lily, Babbleton
James
Though I think he’d just come
MM: Hmmmm
SB: Where are you? I’m waiting at the bar
MM: Look left
SB: YOU MINX
THIS IS UNJUST
REMUS GOT PISSED AT ME AND WENT TO JOIN THAT PING PONG TOURNAMENT
HOW ARE YOU EVEN HAVING THIS CONVERSATION AND STICKING YOUR TONGUE DOWN HER THROAT AT THE SAME TIME?
MM: like this
SB: Heartless
Get a room
MM: text james
SB: thank you my daring partner in crime this plotting session is adjourned you were most helpful im sure victory is within our grasp
or your grasp
GET A ROOM
________________
His gaze was piercing through the layers of pragmatism and apathy she’d hidden behind for weeks on end. Her face was warming and she might have been melting into the seat, but the rainstorm outside meant it had nothing to do with the tropical climate.
“Lily Evans,” he stood up and positioned himself in front of her, kneeling down,”Will you--SHIT!”
“What?” she said, shocked out of her reverie.
“Where is it?” he muttered to himself patting his various pockets frantically, like he was on fire, “I had it in my room out of the safe and then...oh FUCK.”
“James?”
“Dammit, Lils, I left the ring on my bed at home.”
“You sure you didn’t just forget it in your luggage?” she suggested.
“I don’t have any luggage, I just grabbed my passport and wallet and got on the plane.”
“You just got on the plane?” she asked.
_____________
Sirius Black to James Potter
SB: prongs this is it
JP: What?
SB: are you sitting down its important
JP: I’m walking out of the subway
SB: okay ill wait
JP: ah shit
Is someone hurt?
Is Lily okay?
Do you need a medevac or something I can call Mom because she knows people
SRIS BALCK IMRUNNNIN TEHSTREETTT
SB: prongsy
chill
just tell me when you’re home
JP: For FUCKS SAKE PADFOOT
I thought Lily was in trouble or something
I’m home now
SB: wow, glad to know how much you care about the rest of us
but actually lily is in trouble
JP: SIRIUS ORION BLACK I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU
SB: okay shes not in physical danger
although if you ask me any time spent with beeeblllton increases the risk of getting knocked out but that gelled solid hair pouf
JP: can you get to the point
SB: pompadoofus is going to propose to lily and shes going to say yes unless you get your ass down here and do something about it
prongs
james
are you there
do i need to call mia?
JP: I’ll see you in a few hours
_____________
“DAMMIT POTTER, YOU HAD ONE JOB!” Marlene exclaimed.
“Do you wanna borrow this one?” asked Sirius, wrenching a velvet box from Nigel’s hand.
“Hey!” he cried helplessly.
“I don’t think that glorified rhinestone is gonna help his case,” said Marlene.
James paid them little mind; he looked pitifully off his rhythm. Lily realized, for all his bravado, he was nervous. “I’m so sorry, Lily,” he said, “I tried to be spontaneous and romantic but I just messed up.”
“No, you haven’t,” she said, “Keep going.” If he could fly all the way to this island in the middle of a storm to ask her a question, she could meet him part of the way.
He looked up at her from his empty hands and smiled at the hopefulness he saw in her face. Without a ring to hold he took both her hands in his.
“Lily Evans, will you marry me?”
“Yes.”
_____________
Wedding Announcement, New York Times
Lily Evans, James Potter
Lily Evans, daughter of the late Steve and Peggy Evans, married James Potter, son of the late Fleamont and his surviving wife Euphemia Potter, this past Sunday, June 3rd, in a private ceremony in the Potter’s family penthouse overlooking Central Park.
The bride wore a classic white dress designed by a longtime friend of the couple, New York socialite and part-time designer, Sirius Black. Black, who was ordained under the Universal Life Church for the occasion, also officiated the ceremony. Ms. Evans was escorted down the aisle by Mrs. Potter, restaurant mogul and the couple’s only surviving parent.
Others in attendance included close friends Marlene McKinnon, who claimed responsibility for the event coming to fruition, and Remus Lupin, currently studying medicine at Cornell, who did not make any similar claims but expressed his best wishes for Ms. Evans and Mr. Potter. Mrs. Petunia Dursley nee Evans, the bride’s sister, also attended the ceremony.
The couple had been school sweethearts, only to briefly separate early this year. A romantic reunion earlier last month in the Bahamas preceded this week’s happy nuptials.
The new Mr and Mrs Potter, having recently been in the tropics, will honeymoon to the Scottish Highlands in the castle of an old friend.
____________
Obituary, New York Times
Nigel Babbington
Sanitation Reseacher
Nigel Babbington, formerly of New York City, died this past Tuesday, June 4th, in Minsk. He had recently moved from the City, where he worked as a Researcher for the Sanitation Department, to further his studies in Belarus.
Cause of death was as a result of multiple burn wounds and deep lacerations received from a dragon attack. Ignacio, the dragon in question, has diplomatic immunity and refused to comment.
Babbington has no surviving relatives. His estate will be auctioned off in coming weeks and its proceeds donated to the New York Landmarks Conservancy.
A/N: I hope you enjoy! I went for holiday humor + fluff. Apologies for any typos I wanted to get this in before the deadline!
James comes home with Lily for the holidays and he is endlessly fascinated by all things muggle.
Rating: K+
Word count: 4,344
—-
“I’m starting to think bringing you home to meet my family was a rather large mistake,” Lily Evans remarked to her newly minted and incredibly disheveled boyfriend. The aforementioned boyfriend, none other than James Potter, gave her a characteristic wink.
“You’re just starting to realize this now Evans? You were supposed to be the smart one in this relationship. I’ve got to start reconsidering everything now.”
“I’ve been reconsidering everything for the past few months,” Lily quipped.
“Nah you haven’t,” James replied with a grin.
“You could at least take off that ridiculous sweater,” she sighed.
“We haven’t been away from school for two hours and you’re already trying to get me out of my clothes,” James shook his head, “shame on you Evans. Some Head Girl you are!”
“James please,” Lily said on a more serious note. “My family already thinks I’m a freak as it is. The last thing I need is for you to be wearing that when my mum and dad come to pick us up from the train.”
James looked down at his sweater. He liked it. It was cherry red and decorated all over with miniature snowmen. Each snowman had a different facial expression covering the entire range of human emotion.
“Remus assured me that Christmas sweaters are perfectly normal,” James protested. Lily snorted.
“Yeah for fancy dress at the pub,” she shook her head. She really should have known better. Remus might appear level headed but he still had a mischievous streak that ran as wide and deep in him as it did in the rest of his friends. Clearly he still couldn’t resist the chance to play a prank or two on one of his mates.
“That’s too bad,” James really did look a bit forlorn at the idea of having to change. Lily felt an all too familiar surge of affection for her ridiculous boyfriend.
“Mum would actually love it,” she told him resting her head on his shoulder. “But I should warn you, Dad will make fun of you for weeks after you leave.”
“That I can work with,” James said happily.
“Pet will probably spend most of the time with her awful fiance anyway,” Lily shrugged.
“And will we have the privilege of meeting this awful fiance?”
“Not this time,” Lily tried to keep the sadness from her voice. The rift between her and Petunia had only grown with time. As far as Petunia’s future husband knew, Lily went to a private school and was never home. Petunia loathed magic and simply refused to introduce her fiance and her sister on principle. Eventually she was going to have to. She couldn’t exactly have a wedding without her sister there. Although, if she was being honest with herself, Lily wouldn’t be surprised if Petunia came up with an elaborate lie as to why Lily couldn’t make it.
Luckily, she was spared from having to discuss her sister further by the arrival of the train at King’s Cross station. As promised, both her mum and dad were waiting at the platform. Judging from the ebullient smiles on both of their faces, they were overjoyed that Lily was finally bringing a boy home. Her mother was even holding up a homemade welcome sign above her head.
“Lily dear it’s so good to see you!” she cried out running over to them.
“Hi Mum,” Lily gasped as her mother hugged her tightly around the middle.
“And you must be James,” her father said good naturedly.
“Yes sir, nice to meet you,” James replied shaking her father’s hand. Her father was eyeballing James’s spectacularly ugly sweater but much to Lily’s relief he clearly found it amusing.
“Oh my!” Mrs. Evans couldn’t help but exclaim. “It’s er lovely to meet you dear.” Lily had to give the woman credit, she recovered quickly. Naturally, James wasn’t bothered at all.
“The pleasure is all mine.” He was the perfect picture of polite manners. He might act like a downright marauder at school but the Potters had trained him well.
“Oh Lily you’ll be so pleased,” her mum wrapped an arm around Lily’s shoulder as they walked out to the car. “We waited for you to do the tree!”
“Mum you didn’t have to do that,” Lily was touched. She really did love decorating the tree for Christmas and she hadn’t gotten to do it for the past six years.
“Well it wasn’t for your sake silly,” her mother laughed. “When you said,” she looked furtively around and then whispered, “wizards don’t cut down their own trees we just knew we had to show James how it was done.”
“We get to cut down a tree?” There was no mistaking the look of child like glee on James’s face.
“My father will be the only one to touch the saw,” Lily said pointedly. James however, still looked thrilled. He was endlessly fascinated by all things muggle.
—
When they got to the tree farm, Lily was less than pleased to note that almost all of the good ones were taken already. She figured that was to be expected given it was so close to Christmas. Most normal families got their trees a long time ago. James however, didn’t seem to notice. He walked up and down the rows of pine trees with an absolutely delighted expression on his face.
“It’s best we get a small one anyway,” Lily heard her mum saying as ran ahead to catch up with her parents. “Easier to decorate.”
“Mum there’s no way all of our ornaments will fit on these small trees,” Lily pointed out.
“Yes well your sister has already claimed her half of the collection,” Mrs. Evans sighed. “She’s got them all boxed up and everything.”
Lily tried not to feel too disappointed. She should have known Petunia would have done something like this. When they were younger they used to decorate the tree together and fight over who was going to get what ornaments for their collection when they left home. Petunia hadn’t even officially moved out yet and she was already staking her claim.
“Lils what about this one here?” her father called out from two rows over. Lily and her mother shoved through the trees to find the most disfigured looking shrub Lily had ever seen.
“Are you serious?” she asked hesitantly.
“It’s great!” James insisted. Lily raised her eyebrows at him. He knew what Christmas trees were supposed to look like. Wizards had them too. The trees at Hogwarts, the ones in the Great Hall every year, were nearly twelve feet tall.
“So you are serious,” she sighed.
The tree was short and stout. It was healthy for the most part, save for a small patch at the bottom that looked a little bare. It was completely asymmetrical, even on some sides, completely dispersed on others. It was a little crooked too.
“It has character,” Lily’s father shrugged.
“Petunia will hate it,” Lily pointed out.
“She’s got her own with Vernon I’m sure,” Mrs. Evans reasoned.
“All the more reason to get it then!” Mr. Evans chirped happily. Without waiting for an answer, he adjusted his grip on the axe and began to chop. Instinctively, Lily stepped back and James’s eyes grew wide.
“This is how muggles get their trees?” he asked her in a whisper.
“We’re old fashioned this way,” Lily smiled as her dad hacked away at the trunk.
“James would you like to try?” her dad offered.
“Oh no!” Lily exclaimed at the same time as James said yes. Lily groaned as her dad handed the incredibly dangerous weapon over to her accident prone boyfriend. She closed her eyes as James seized the axe and swung.
“Oh don’t be dramatic darling,” Mrs. Evans laughed as Lily hid her face in her sleeve.
“If I don’t look, perhaps they won’t accidentally chop off each other’s limbs,” she peered out over her arm. Her father had taken the axe back and was showing James where to stand to catch the miniature tree. Lily breathed a sigh of relief. At least this one wasn’t tall enough or heavy enough to crush him if he misjudged the angle.
“How did you manage the bigger trees all those years?” James asked after they strapped it to the roof of the car. It took quite a lot of lifting and no small amount of bickering to get the thing securely tied.
“Pet and I used to catch them together,” Lily admitted. She tried to keep the sadness from her voice. She knew her parents worried about their daughters and the ever growing chasm between them.
James however, knew her too well to be fooled. He reached out across the back seat and squeezed her hand comfortingly. Lily shot him a small smile. She didn’t know what kind of welcome would be waiting for them back at home. Petunia always opted to stay behind when their parents came to pick Lily up from King’s Cross. She despised all things magical and Lily was honestly worried about her reaction to meeting James. Petunia loved the things in her life to be neat and orderly. James Potter was pretty much the exact opposite of that.
—
It turned out, Lily didn’t really have to worry about her sister’s reaction to James at all. She wasn’t home when they got back from getting the tree.
“Probably off with Vernon,” her mum said with a shrug. “I think you two can handle the tree just fine by yourselves.”
“Excellent,” James declared clapping his hands together excitedly. He’d never decorated a tree before which Lily thought was downright ridiculous. Surely he’d had trees with his parents over the years.
“Nope,” James told her as he dug through the box of ornaments. “We were always on holiday in France or Italy or some other place.” James admitted. Only James Potter could make taking nice trips sound like it was sad. Lily knew as an only child he’d been a bit lonely but still. Christmas in France. That had to have been nice.
“I’ve never been to France,” Lily mused as she strung some tinsel haphazardly along the edges of the tree. “The biggest holiday we could afford was going to the coast every summer.”
“Next Christmas you can come with us,” James said bending down to open the next box. “You’d love old Fleamont. You two could gossip about Potions and boring things all day.”
“I still can’t believe your father invented Sleekeazy’s and your hair still looks like that every day,” Lily snorted.
“Well I needed to rebel against my family somehow,” James said running a hand through his perpetually windswept hair.
“And your years worth of detentions at school weren’t enough?” Lily shot back sarcastically.
“Nope,” James shrugged. “Honestly I would say it amused my father more than anything else. The hair though, it always got on Mum’s nerves.”
“And here was I thinking you just did it for the attention,” Lily quipped.
“What in Merlin’s name am I supposed to do with these?” he asked suddenly holding up a strand of Christmas lights. Lily giggled at the incredulous look on his face. Of course James would have no idea what they were for. Wizards used magic to make their trees glow.
“We plug them into the wall and wrap them around the tree,” she tried to explain.
“Why would you wrap them around the tree?” James still looked bewildered. “And why would your tree need a net that plugs into a wall?”
“They’re not a net,” she laughed. “They’re lights.” Lily took the end of the cord and bent down. She plugged the end into the wall, flicked the switch, and the lights lit up in James’s hands. They twinkled in the reflection of his glasses.
“Nice trick,” he acknowledged.
Getting the tree done took longer than expected because James kept insisting on hanging the ornaments on her ears when she was looking the other way. Lily inevitably caught him trying to put a snowman on the cat.
“James!” she laughed as her cat hissed at him angrily. He almost fell over trying to get away from it’s claws.
“What?” he looked so innocent despite the snowman ornament dangling from his fingers. “Your cat wasn’t looking very festive.”
“Lily! James!” Mrs. Evans called from the kitchen. “I think your father needs some assistance outside.”
“That can’t be good,” Lily muttered.
The two of them donned winter coats and stepped outside into the frigid air. They were greeted by the sight of a ladder sprawled across the Evans’s front lawn.
“Oh no,” Lily sighed as her dad called out to them from on top of the roof.
“Lily up here!”
He looked entirely too pleased with himself for being stranded on top of a roof. He’d clearly come out to hang the last of their Christmas lights but had obviously had some sort of mishap with the ladder.
“How did he get up there?” James wondered, looking genuinely amazed. He smiled waved at her father who waved back.
“Did you honestly never bother to take Muggle Studies?” Lily asked incredulously as she went over to pick up the ladder. She brought it back over to the side of the house and straightened it out. “Here, help me hold this.”
“You know,” James mused coming over to help her stabilize the ladder, “Muggles really are very clever.” The ladder shook slightly in their hands while her dad climbed back down to safety. “I honestly don’t know what I would have done to get him down without magic.”
“I’m sure you would have figured something out,” Lily said thinking of a very clever bit of parchment James always seemed to have on his person.
Just as she was about to remind him of the map, the sound of gravel crunching on the driveway made her turn around. Lily’s pulse quickened as she recognized her sister’s car. Petunia was home. And she’d arrived just in time to see their father stuck up on a roof. Petunia wasn’t going to like that one bit.
“Daddy what on earth are you doing up on the roof?” Petunia asked after she got out of the car. Lily rolled her eyes. It was pretty obvious what he was doing on the roof. “Get down from there before you hurt yourself.”
Then, without a backwards glance or so much as a hello to her own sister, Petunia turned and walked into the house.
“Maybe she didn’t see us?” James offered.
“Right,” Lily muttered darkly.
As soon as her dad was safely back on the ground, James and Lily went back inside to finish decorating the tree. Petunia and her mother were in the kitchen discussing something in low voices. Lily debated going in to say hello but eventually decided against it. If her sister wanted to ignore her, then that was just fine.
Unfortunately, it didn’t look like Petunia was planning to ignore her at all. She came stalking out of the kitchen once she heard Mr. Evans close the front door.
“What have you done to the house? And that tree?!” she demanded with her hands on her hips. “It looks like someone threw up Christmas all over it.”
“That’s quite the image,” James whispered so only Lily could hear. Despite herself, Lily had to hold back a laugh.
“Pet this is James,” Lily said stepping forward to introduce the two of them.
Petunia’s eyes raked over James’s lanky form, perpetually disheveled hair, and square spectacles slightly atilt across the bridge of his nose. He smiled at her in his charming way but even the charisma of James Potter wasn’t enough to break Petunia’s icy demeanor. The disdain on her face was obvious and Lily felt herself growing angry on his behalf.
“Pleasure,” she said in a way that implied no pleasure at all. Petunia was far too polite to say anything outright but it was clear that she didn’t like James one bit. Lily silently fumed. She hadn’t even bothered to give him a chance.
“I’ve heard so much about you,” James started to say but Petunia crossed her arms and scoffed.
“Well I’ve heard nothing about you.”
Lily frowned at her. Petunia hated when Lily talked about anything at all related to school and magic. Of course she hadn’t mentioned James to her.
“Of course,” James actually nodded in understanding. “Lily doesn’t like to brag, but I currently hold the school record for most detentions in one month.”
“James!” Lily hissed at him. That was the last thing on this planet that would make Petunia like him. To Lily’s surprise though, she saw the ghost of a smile flicker across her sister’s face. It was gone though, disappearing as quickly as it had come.
“I shouldn’t be surprised,” Petunia wrinkled her nose and turned to Lily. “You finally bring home a boy and he’s a delinquent freak just like you.”
“Petunia!” Mrs. Evans scolded from the kitchen.
Lily clenched her hands into fists as her sides. She’d told James all about her strained relationship with her sister, had warned him that Petunia hated magic and almost hated her just as much. He knew about the name calling and the disdain but it was still embarrassing for him to be witnessing it all first hand.
“I’m going to Vernon’s,” Petunia ignored their mother’s scolding.
“But you were just there,” Mrs. Evans protested. “And Lily just got home!”
“I don’t really care,” Petunia sighed dramatically. She spared James and Lily one last look of disgust before walking out the door, keys twirling in her hands.
Lily closed her eyes and counted to ten. She hated how she always let Petunia get to her like this. She absolutely refused to cry. Not over this.
“Hey,” James said reaching out to take her hands.
“I’m sorry about all that,” Lily apologized.
“Forget about that. I know just what you need,” James said with a mischievous smile.
“And what is that exactly?” Lily asked.
“A drink at the pub with the lads,” he responded looking rather proud of himself. Lily couldn’t help laughing a bit. James had a point; those boys never failed to cheer her up.
“As nice as that would be,” Lily sighed, because it really would be nice. James’s mates had a way of putting you at ease without even trying. And she really could use a drink. “I don’t think we can make it happen tonight.”
“Ah but you’re forgetting that Sirius can apparate now,” James reminded her. “He can bring Remus side-along.”
“Oh I’m sure Remus will love that,” Lily snorted.
“Pete’s with his Mum so I don’t have a way to reach him tonight but I can get Sirius and Remus here in ten minutes or less.”
“You really don’t have to,” Lily began to say but James was already whipping out his two-way mirror.
“Oi Padfoot,” he practically bellowed into the thing.
“James!” Lily hushed him immediately. Her parents had a tendency to get over excited whenever something magical was happening around the house.
“Prongs!” Sirius’s cheerful voice called out through the mirror. “What can I do for you tonight?”
“Bring Remus over here,” James said into the mirror. “We’re going to the pub.”
“Say no more,” Sirius sounded delighted. “We’ll be there in less than five.”
“Better make that ten!” Remus’s voice interjected.
“Fine ten,” Sirius agreed.
—
Seven minutes later, a knock sounded on the Evans’s front door.
“I think that’s got to be record timing,” James said as Lily pulled open the door to reveal Sirius and Remus wearing their own versions of muggle Christmas sweaters. Lily laughed as she took in the giant black down lounging underneath a Christmas tree on Sirius’s and the dancing elves Remus was currently sporting.
“You two are going to be a big hit tonight,” she greeted them.
“Evans, I have been assured that these are the height of muggle fashion,” Sirius said as he wrapped her in a giant hug.
“Ugh let go of me you oaf,” Lily gasped.
“Hi Lily,” Remus said helping her escape from Sirius and his enthusiasm.
“I’m actually a bit upset with you at the moment Remus,” Lily told him.
“I can’t imagine why,” he said innocently.
“You let James greet my parents wearing smiling snowmen!”
“Sorry,” he didn’t look sorry at all, “couldn’t resist.”
“I am in way over my head with you three,” Lily sighed.
“And you love it,” Sirius winked at her.
“I can’t really argue with you there,” Lily admitted as James snaked an arm around her shoulder.
“Ready to get sloshed?” Sirius asked.
“Am I ever,” Lily replied.
—
“I’m never going to the pub with you lot ever again,” Lily declared an hour later.
Take three charismatic young men and put them in ugly Christmas sweaters and you get the most popular people of the night. They were never alone for more than five minutes and Lily didn’t think any of them paid for a single drink they consumed. She was more intoxicated than she’d ever been in her entire life. Although, that wasn’t really saying much.
While Sirius and Remus spent most of their time talking with various girls, Lily was endeavoring to teach James more about muggles. It wasn’t going very well so far.
“If you have moving people in your telly visions how come your pictures don’t move?” he wanted to know.
“Television,” Lily told him for what felt like the tenth time. “And televisions take electricity go work. Our pictures are just paper. No electricity in paper.”
“Elektrickcity,” James experimented with the word.
“Close enough,” Lily decided. A sober wizard would have a hard enough time with that word, let alone a drunk one. “It’s what makes our Christmas lights work.”
“I love Christmas lights,” James sighed happily. Lily laughed into her drink.
Everyone was in such a good mood that at one point, Sirius started leading the pub through rounds of Christmas Carols. It was complicated by the fact of course, that Sirius had no idea what the words to muggle Christmas songs were.
“He sees you when you’re sleeping?” James asked outraged.
“He knows when you’re awake!” the rest of the pub chorused.
“What kind of dirty muggle songs are these?” James inquired.
“They’re not dirty!” Lily insisted through her laughter. “They’re festive!”
“He’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice!” Everyone sang.
“That is just objectively dirty,” James pointed out. Lily giggled.
“I honestly never thought about it that way,” she confessed. “Leave it to you to ruin my favorite Christmas song.”
“Now you’ll have to think of me every time you sing it,” he said cheerfully.
—
They were all in such high spirits that they caroled all the way back to Lily’s house. Santa Claus was indeed coming to town.
“Oh my god!” a shrill voice called out from above, “You need to stop your drunken caroling outside my window!” Petunia hollered. She’d opened her window and was leaning halfway out of it. “It’s bloody two in the morning!”
“Oops,” Lily started giggling uncontrollably. She’d been having such a good time that she’d completely forgotten about Petunia!
“Oh do they have to?” her father called out from his own window. “I sort of liked it.”
“I think the neighbors might appreciate if we took this conversation inside,” Mrs. Evans yelled, joining in on the fun.
“Who is making all that noise?” another disembodied voice joined in. Lily’s mouth fell open in surprise. They’d woken up her neighbors.
“It’s Santa! Nothing to see here. Go back to sleep!” her dad shouted back.
Lily threw her head back and laughed a full bodied laugh. She might not be close with Petunia anymore but she still had her wonderfully ridiculous Mum and Dad. And she had James and even Sirius, Remus, and Peter. They were her family too now. Lily threw one arm around James and the other around Sirius. She grinned at them and their hideous sweaters.
“Thank you for coming home with me for Christmas,” she told them all, but especially James.
“Anytime,” Sirius swept into a bow. “Moony are you ready to be off?”
“What no?!” Remus looked incredulous. “You can’t apparate in this state, you’ll get us both splinched!”
“There’s plenty of room on the couch,” Lily said.
They didn’t need to be told twice. The two boys disappeared into the house.
“I really do mean it,” Lily said turning to face James. “Thank you. Thank you for giving up what was probably going to be an amazing holiday in France and coming here to my little muggle town and dealing with my crazy family and making what would have been a very lonely Christmas into one of the best. Just thank you for being here.”
He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” he replied. Lily opened her mouth to shoot back a clever retort, something along the lines of he was only saying so due to the insane amount of whiskey they’d just consumed, but he’d leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead. “I mean it Lily. I love you and your wacky family even Petunia your evil cat.”
Despite the cold winter air, Lily felt a blush creep into her cheeks. She still couldn’t believe how she’d ended up in love with James Potter of all people but life was funny like that.
“I love you too,” she whispered back.
“I know,” James grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief behind his glasses.
“You’re impossible,” Lily shook her head but he planted another kiss on her forehead and she melted.
“Merry Christmas Lily,” James said as she rested her head on his shoulder. Light snowflakes were beginning to fall and Lily knew they should go inside soon but she wanted to enjoy the moment for just a minute or two longer.
“Merry Christmas,” she agreed watching the snowflakes dance around them. Finally out there in the cold with the softly falling snow and James by her side, Lily finally felt content.
