Wait. The Waterboy is supposed to be one of Adam Sandler’s good movies? Am I missing something? This film isn’t good. It’s annoying, repetitive, and sloppy.
31-year-old soft-spoken, H20-obsessed manchild Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler) speaks with a stutter and is smothered by his excessively sheltering mother (Kathy Bates). He's a loser by every definition until a sudden burst of rage catches the eye of the University of Louisiana's coach (Henry Winkler). Suddenly, the Cougars' waterboy becomes their star player.
The second you hear Bobby speak, you’ll know if this film is for you. There are underdogs, then there are losers who are still waterboys into their 30s, then there’s this guy. Director Frank Coraci lays it on so thick you can’t categorize him as anything but annoying even before you consider his speech mannerisms. It’s nails on a chalkboard, cats screeching at each other, and boiling water in your ear! You're supposed to like this underdog but there's no way you can. He’s socially inept to the point of being a cartoon… until he isn’t. We’re asked to cheer for someone who doesn’t train to become a better athlete, who charms the girl who fawns over him (Fairuza Balk as Vicki) through magic in every way but name, who can’t even stand up to the people who bully him except by demolishing them through violent means. Only this contortionist of a plot could make this candidate for a one-way trip to the sun a "hero".
Get ready for the typical Sandler-isms! Jokes at the expense of people who look different? There’s a buffet of them as we’re asked to laugh at people who are cross-eyed, speak with Cajun accents, or have bad teeth. Does Bobby scream at, or hit people for comedic effect? Over and over! Are there a lot of cameos from his usual posse of buddies and sports figures? You know it! It’s nothing but cheap jokes one after another until we reach the end - cue the cheap sentimentality dumped on you as mercilessly as a ton of bricks.
While I don't consider myself a fan of Adam Sandler, I tried to have a good time. I made the effort to write down every genuinely funny joke I could find so I could review it fairly. Out of my list, six were shot down by the crowd I was watching it with, which leaves us with 12 laughs. Only 12? In a 90-minute comedy, that’s pathetic. Particularly when it felt so much longer than an hour-and-a-half.
Poorly written, with performances that could curdle milk, The Waterboy offers little to those who are not indoctrinated in the Church of Sandler. I laughed here and then, but these few moments do not cancel out each time the film was grating, predictable, low-brow, lazily-written, and phony. (March 3, 2017)