I fucking hate the fact that I ain't got friends. I buitl my inner world separately from anyone, but there also could be the reason that I couldn't find a "right" person to have near me, in a way. As everybody said, true friends don't exist. But how do some guys find friends? I know one who's got a person to talk with. Buys are more simple. They don't judge and they probably ain't got any interest out of this. Got crazy ideas? Mad thoughts? Need advice? Money? Problems? Whatever? They talk. But I can not find a good person for me.... Don't think the usual girls would fit my personality. I'm kind of introverted and got weird interests for a girl. I cannot talk with the usual girls on their usual topics. I don't know anything about clothes, make-up, boys... I'm not into these topics. I don't give a f*ck about that. And the girls - will there ever be any guarantees that she will not betray you? Or talk about you at your back?
I have no one to talk to, only one person, and they are probably overwhelmed by me. My relatives are telling me to not be that close to them. I have no-one else! There are thing I can't tell my mom, or aunt, or.... Wait! I don't have anyone!!! What shall I do? Go insain?! Because my thoughts are way more powerful than me. I can not, or better said I can, but not that much. I'm scared that they could take over my life. They're really depressing and I would get into real trouble. This is why, I need to talk with somebody. I somehow ask for "help", even thought I don't know with what exactly that person shall help me. I know it's bad for a person to know all those things about me, that they could hurt me with all that information and with my actions, but I need to express. I... I'm tired of keeping it into myself. Socially awkward, can't connect 2 words in a different community. Idiot.