#this is infantilization

[this-is-infantilization]

infantilization is being repeatedly treated like an immature child because you want your family to admit when they are wrong and not just blame you and change events when things go wrong. all while being told you'd get more respect when you became an adult for so many years.

not being allowed to have age-appropriate autonomy and take age-appropriate risks made it to where i ended up doing some really harmful shit in order to try and make up for what i felt i "lacked". i don't feel my age, both because my autism means that I've had a lot of developmental and social delays, and because I'm never taken seriously or respected.

it reaaallllyy does not help that some people treat me like I'm 5 when i say I'm ace. yes i know what sex is and the mere mention of it will not scandalize me. i'm just not interested in engaging in it.

finally, the developmental and social milestones were not helped by the amount of.. neglect and emotional abuse going on. i spent a lot of my life online or curled up in my room; sometimes for most of the day, because it was the closest i could get (in a very not-soundproofed house) to some semblance of peace. it was all "oh you're so mature" until i had thoughts and ideas of my own and started advocating for myself more. as soon as i wasn't soaring through my classes anymore, i wasn't worth the trouble and treated as a nuisance. i was in survival mode for long enough that a *future* just didn't make sense to me.

and now? i really have this pit in my stomach about finally trying to muster the confidence to socialize again because of how much i was treated like glass or something to be avoided before. though dating isn't a priority, i have a theory that I'll be treated as "no fun" or "childish" because I'm ace, haven't been able to move out yet (money reasons), don't drink, and have a lot of sensory issues/personal space requirements that would make going to clubs impossible.

claiming my life back is so important to me after years of going through the motions but *god* is it one hell of a journey to get there.

the nice thing is that a good chunk of the friends I'm working on reconnecting with right now are also trans, so. relief that that conversation will likely go well.

i have been working on taking care of myself better and being able to finally start towards making my own money and driving more consistently. it took years and years and years, but I've been at peace with myself with so many fears that used to "eat me alive", so to speak. i'm in my 20s now. if you had asked teenage me that, they wouldn't have believed it. i've made it this far, dammit, and mostly because i was lucky enough to have the friends i did. recontextualizing what had happened to me and finally being able to believe that it wasn't okay after so many years of doubting myself felt like i could breathe again. I've been able to set some boundaries because of it and some have been pretty successful... though others are still incessantly challenged.

it's nice to see that the friends i have been able to contact so far have managed to live happy lives after all the hell they were given, too. gives me hope.

This is infantilization regarding autistic people and ace people (seems it's specific to alloace's but it's pretty general). Making it ableism (anti-autism specifically) and acephobia.

@thisis--ableism @this-is-anti-autism @this-is-acephobia

Also, anon, i'm really glad that you have hope and things are getting better for you situationally and mentally surrounding this!!

[this-is-neuropsych-ableism]

I hated being autistic in high school, I noticed people speak to be in a higher tone of voice to me than when they're around other people/their friends. People talked to me as if I was a toddler. Or when people speak bad about me a few inches away from me as if I can't notice what they're talking about 🙄

Oh and I wanted to add other stuff I hate about what people are saying about autism

- Butch Hartman(creator of fairly oddparents) thinking he can cure autism by "praying it away"

- People saying autism is caused by tynenol or vaccines

-"I wish I had autism", "Autism isn't a disability it's a different ability"

This is neuropsych ableism and infantilization. @this-is-infantilization

I had very similar experiences due to my own autism. It sucks.

Also, can people please let go of the "differability" thing. I'm sick of it. Disability is not a bad word.

[this-is-purity-culture]

Purity culture is acting like adults who look young or are disabled can’t consent, because they’re literally babies. They are not babies. They are adults. Talk to disabled people. We want to have sex just as much as you do.

This is purity culture. This is ableism and infantilization.

@this-is-infantilization

@thisis--ableism

(will untag if asked)

[this-is-infantilization]

Disabled people, particularly people with disabilities like down syndrome and autism, are often thought to be happy and kind all the time. I think this is directly because they associate these people with innocence and see them as children. They're always talked down to and nobody takes them seriously when they're not happy (for example, if you have one of these disabilities and are angry for any reason, you are seen as a toddler who is throwing a tantrum for no reason and treated as such.)

I'm autistic. I like being nice to people. I can also be horny, I can also swear, I could be an asshole if I wanted to. None of these things are mutually exclusive, and none of these things are because of my autism. I'm not a child, no matter how kind I try to be or how happy I can be, so don't treat me like one.

This is infantilization.

[this-is-infantilization]

Our dad constantly infantilizes us despite us about to turn 18 in two months. He told us using essas (emotional support stuffed animals, something our doctor supports) is too childish. He told us our religion (Hellenistic polytheism) is childish and described it as “worshipping rocks.” He’s told us many times he won’t treat us like an adult until we act like an adult, but how are we supposed to know what being an adult feels like if we’re constantly treated like a toddler?

a teacher has done the same thing. Complain to the class that we’re 17, and he treats us like babies, why don’t we react like adults? And I feel like this concept is so normalized, infantilizing teenagers but expecting them to be more mature than they are. It’s adultist (can you tag this-is-adultism pls?) and just. Gross. In what world does treating someone like they’re a baby mean they have to act like an adult? I wish teenagers were allowed to be seen as teenagers. Not children. Not adults. Teenagers.

the worst part is they’ll always complain about HAVING to treat us like babies. You can always just treat us like human beings? You could respect us? Teenagers aren’t horrid creatures who’ll kill on sight? There is NO obligation to infantilize teenagers. Like they always pull “Why can’t you act mature? I’m sick of babysitting you.” THEN DONT!!! We are not the bigger person, but we’re not the smallest either.

@the-apartment-complexxx

This is infantilization of teenagers/people who use essas/Hellenistic polytheistic people. And therefore anti-religion and ageist/adultist.

@this-is-anti-religion @this-is-adultism

[this-is-infantilization]

I think it's a bit infantilizing that so many autism resources are directed specifically at autistic children.

I was researching AAC apps and devices because I think one may be useful for me, and I noticed that just about every site I looked at said something or other about "AAC resources for children with autism". I am a minor, but I still think it's very infantilizing, probably especially to adults who need AAC too.

I feel like fidget toys are also seen as a kids' thing too and are also often marketed as being for autistic children, but adults can use fidgets too. I think the fact that these things are viewed as "childish" is definitely infantilization.

This is infantilization.

[this-is-infantilization]

Infantalization is holding back your clearly disabled child from dating at normal ages, and then people feeling uncomfortable giving them a chance when they finally hit the maturity to date. Shitty for people to have weird stigma's against dating disabled people and then also not giving people chances when they feel okay enough to try.

This is infantilization of disabled people fueled by amatonormativity and ableism. Also, specifically the part of "holding back your child", which implies it's a parent who does it to their child also makes it parental abuse.