hello? loscar set to the tune of sombr's back to friends ✨✨✨✨ ???
#obviousangst ??? 😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
BACK TO STRANGERS; LOSCAR
uhhh when the horrifying act of harboring feelings for your best friend after a one night stand blows up in your face
"It doesn't—,” Logan knows what the following words are as he pulls the shirt over his head. The cotton slips over his shoulders, covering the litany of teeth-shaped bruises. His back aches and his thighs are sore as he bends down to slip on his shorts. He catches sight of himself on the hanging mirror Oscar has: his hair is ruffled, light bruises that'll darken as the day progresses littered on his neck. Shame curls in his gut, it's a bit humiliating as he shoves his feet into his socks.
Logan shrugs, "I know, stress relief." He doesn't spare Oscar a glance as he slips his shoes on, his internal clock letting him know it's early enough in the morning for him to sneak back to his own hotel.
"Logan," Oscar starts, voice soft and it's the exact tone that got him in this mess in the first place, tone edged with the liquid courage of an enthusiastically shared gin and tonic from a smashed Max Verstappen.
He turns around; expression smoothed into something detached. It wasn't Oscar's fault that he was so easy for him, always willing to do what Oscar wanted, bending to his every whim.
"Osc, its fine." He says, eyes moving around the room to try and find his phone, "We knew what is was."
Oscar stays quiet and Logan finally turns to look at him. He finds him how he had fallen asleep, hair just as messy as Logan's, chest littered with bites as the covers pool around his waist.
Logan stands by the bed, hands on his waist and an eyebrow raised in his direction. His expression is clear, hazel eyes soft and droopy. There's something close to satisfaction on his face as Logan turns away, finally finding his phone peeking out from under the bed.
"See you." Logan says, patting his pockets before heading to the door, "Get home safe."
"You too, Loges."
Alex doesn't ask him where he had been when they bump into each other in the elevator when they're checking out, but concern floods them when he spots the bites. All Logan can do is shrug, eyes fluttering close as he leans against the cool wall of the elevator.
He made a mistake, one that will slowly kill him, but he would make it again and again if it meant Oscar looked at him like that one more time.
;;;
Oscar is standing next to him in Monaco, shoulder brushing against his as the truck ambles around the track. His heart speeds up when Oscar looks at him, laughter etched into the crinkles of his eyes, cheeks flushed and bunny teeth on display. His skin thrums with the memory of them pressed into his skin, deep enough to mark, to claim.
He looks away and hopes the flush of his skin is due to the sun and not of a memory he should have forgotten. He ignores Alex's heavy gaze as it bounces between him and Oscar, head tilted as Logan nudges Oscar back, his own smile on his face.
;;;
It takes a while for Oscar to pin Logan down, not physically, no matter how much his traitorous brain wants him to. Logan hadn't exactly been avoiding Oscar, but the season seems to continue to try and end him, so excuse him if he's not really open on his availability.
"You're ignoring me." Oscar states, arms crossed against his chest and an annoyed expression on his face.
"Not on purpose." Logan mutters, looking over Oscar's shoulder and at the wall. He doesn't want to have this conversation, let alone here, let alone at all. He’s already worried about his career that he doesn’t have time to think about that night no matter how much it haunts him.
Oscar had been as willing as him, had been the one to kiss him in the hidden corner of the club, had snuck his hands under Logan’s shirt. It was his hotel room they went back to, pressed against each other until Logan had wondered if they were ever to separate.
It was him that had laid his head on Logan’s chest, his silver chain twisted in between his fingertips as they laid there. Logan has always had Oscar, but never like this, and he will never have him again.
Logan may love Oscar, but he won’t sacrifice his already stretched thin patience for him—not when he already has so much on the line.
“You’ve been weird,” Oscar presses, stepping closer as if Logan will unravel just because and if Logan was weaker, if Oscar had pressed him just a few weeks earlier, he would’ve spilled everything, “You’ve been weird since that night.”
“I’ve been busy.” Logan says, tone even but that’s a struggle on its own. Why is he not as affected as him? Did it truly mean nothing to Oscar? It’s not like Logan had convinced himself that Oscar was head over heels for him.
“With what?” Oscar asks, hazel eyes dark and lips turned down in a way that makes Logan want to reach out and smooth them out. Faintly, Logan remembers the words whispered into his skin, the four lettered word that stayed with him even when he returned to the darkness of his own hotel room.
Mine, mine, mine
But none of it was true, not in the way it mattered.
“I don’t know if you noticed or not Oscar, but my career is quite literally falling apart at the seams so I’m sorry that it seems that I’m ignoring you when you didn’t seem to mind ignoring me a few months ago.” Logan snaps, frustration building behind his ribs, tightening around his heart.
Oscar flinches, a barely visible thing but Logan knows him, intimately or not, he knows Oscar.
“I wasn’t ignoring you.”
“Sure fucking felt like it.” Logan snarls, it’s unfair maybe, that he’s taking all his frustration out on Oscar, but he’s part of it, isn’t he?
“You don’t talk to me for weeks, you hang out with Lando fucken Norris and Charles Leclerc and Max Verstappen, and me?” It’s him that’s moves closer, standing close enough so see the flecks of green and gold.
“You find me in a corner of a club and decide, what, that I’m easy? That you can’t sleep with any of them, but I was worth blurring the lines of our friendship?” It’s almost hissed out, Oscar’s eyes darkening as he shoves Logan back.
“You wanted it as much as I did, Logan,” Oscar yells, “You fucken begged for it.”
“At least I didn’t say it was for ‘stress-relief’,” Logan snarls, shoving Oscar back, “At least I knew what I wanted and didn’t chose you as an excuse to get my dick wet!”
“You caught feelings.” Oscar says in almost disbelief and Logan laughs, harsh and enough to make Oscar take a step back.
“You can’t catch something you already have, asshole.” Logan says, the fight leaving him so suddenly he has to lean against the wall, “I love you, but you know that, everyone knows it, and you’re a lot of things Oscar Piastri, but you’re not stupid.”
Logan sighs, running a hand over his face and through his hair, “You acted like nothing happened, like you didn’t leave your teeth in me, like you didn’t claim me as yours. Do you know what that does to a person?”
Oscar stays quiet, hands clenched by his sides and Logan lets out a weak laugh, suddenly so tired at this mess, at the inevitable end to his career and who he was as a person, at the loss of friendship that should’ve lasted a lifetime.
“It doesn’t even matter,” He murmures, shaking his head, his throat tightens, his eyes burn with tears as he continues, “I won’t be here by the end of the year, probably won’t be here by the end of the week. So all this, between you and me, what happened right now, is at the bottom of my list of concerns.”
Maybe Logan blew everything out of proportion, maybe, eventually, he would have suppressed it, would’ve gotten over it. Maybe he wouldn’t, but it’s too late to wonder about it as he pushes off the wall.
“You’re such an asshole,” Oscar spits, “Why couldn’t you—”
“Literally doesn’t matter anymore, Oscar.” Logan says quietly, “What happened, happened, I’m not sure we could’ve gone back to being friends anyway, at least not like before.”
He turns towards the hall, “Good luck on the rest of your season, Piastri, try not to damage bridges with other people off of false pretenses.”
When the announcement comes of Logan being dropped, a few days later, Oscar thinks of that night where for just a few hours, he had Logan exactly where he wanted him.
