You know, I've been thinking
The whole "Death gives Life meaning" thing. That "Dying gives us size". That our life becomes a story others can look back upon from the start to finish.
It really drives me crazy.
Maybe there's something else beyond the end of the tunnel; a great big fluffy cloud kingdom ruled by a pretentious prick like most Monothiestic religions nowday preach.
Or an underground ruled by a grouchy dickhead who got screwed over by his brother like in Greek Mythology.
Or our Souls could return to whatever group they came from like in Yoruban Myths.
Or we just get a short reprive and then our Souls/Consciousness or whatever gets shoved back in the saddle for another round.
Or maybe there's just blissful nothingness. No thoughts, no nothing.
Or our souls could end up being eaten by some Lovecraftian monstrosity like in Fallen London.
Or maybe we're literally just The Universe trying to make sense of itself like some scientists claim which sounds sweet and fucking hilarious.
Lovecraft once said: "the oldest and greatest emotion known to man, is fear. And the oldest and greats fear known to man is fear of the unknown."
I think Death encapsulates that perfectly. We don't know what's on the other side of that boundary and we can't exactly peer past it because we don't have a full understanding of Death, Life and Consciousness and how they all work.
We don't even know where Consciousness comes from. Our sense of self, that thing that lets us look around and process and understand the world around us.
All we know is that it's there and then at one point it seemingly goes and there's no way of knowing if it's actually gone or if it goes somewhere or if it can even be reassembled.
But, I do understand why people say "Death gives us size and scope."
I tihnk it's largely coping with the fact that unless we find a way to control Death, we're fucked. Like, we're all gonna die.
But on the other hand; without Death, if Life just kept going and going and going with no end.
It fills me with dread.
Now, I'm not one for existential dread.
The idea of just being a tiny, tiny flickering ember in an incomprehensibly vast and uncaring Universe does not bother me one fucking bit.
And the idea of living forever is one I am quite fond of.
But anytime I stop to think about all that time. All that endless time that immortality would give.
It's a lot. It's overwhelming to think about in a way that reminds me of when i think about death.
But, honestly?
My Life has been hectic since I was six years old, it's been almost one mess to the next, especially after COVID, I haven't really had a year where I could just go "okay, time to relax for a year. Time to just worry about normal shit."
And sometimes I wanna go "Fuck it, I give up."
But if you were to give me the choice between Life and Death? I'd pick Life. I'd pick eternal life anyday.
Life is awesome.
Because, despite the fact there's these small groups of us who were either so dumb they're a threat to everyone around them and themselves or are so evil that they are a threat to everything in existence.
Humans are awesome. We're basically a Singuarlity: we stepped onto the board and the game of existence changed forever and it keeps changing because of us.
We maybe the first but even if we go exitinct (which i hope we don't), we sure as fuck will not be the last.
I know things are bad. But we've been fighting. ever since we were in those caves, allthrough out climate tragedies, plagues, wars. Whatever has been thrown at us,
WE HAVE SURVIVED IT.
And don't get me wrong, even those of us who are good have flaws. We've got a lot of unconsicous biases to unpack, a lot of traumas to work through.
But we can pull through this. We can win and we can create a future where none of us have to worry about stuff like that.
Where maybe Death just becomes a scary old story we tell our kids or is just a treatable disease that we can turn on a machine and "boom, you're back to life."
Where a system is in place that serves us in a way where we all benefit instead of a small group.
Where, yeah we have our differences and don't always get on, but it doesn't mean we're at risk of killing one another over them or being killed by someone over it.
Where we don't have to worry about being victimized.
Yeah as of right now, Death is irreviersble and there's no way of stopping it.
Azreal's gonna pop up with his poison dripping blade and his thousands of eyes and tongues and escort us to wherever the fuck we're supposed to go.
But call me crazy. Call me desperate. Call me a fucking moron. Call me naive.
I'm definitely some of if not all of those things.
But we've changed the rules multiple times before. We have.
People used to die of diseases that are now pretty treatable nowadays.
Used to take fucking weeks for two people on different ends of a country to talk to one another now we can do it instantiously.
It used to be that knowledge could only be obtained from certain places by certain people. Now any mad bastard can look up how to create a fucking bomb.
Like, we split the goddamn atom and released the power of the sun. Yeah, American then procceeded to drop said split atom on a city, twice.
But still.
if we can do all that with what amounts to a crudely made bonk stick, a blindfold and no idea what the fuck we're doing or why we're even here.
Then maybe, just maybe, as we advance more and more and understand this universe more and more, we could make Death reversible.
We could win the war against Entropy.
We can get that happily ever after.
Maybe we're an accident; the nilihist in me thinks so. I think there's not really a divine or cosmic plan for us.
I think we should literally become our own gods and look out for each other if possible.
Because the Throne of Creation is empty and looking to be filled and it may as well be us that fills it. Together.
