October 12, 2020
I made it home. Many steps hiking and 2 Epsom baths a day kept the pain down.
I had a blast.
No one bitched at me. I might be lonely but sometimes people make me so miserable. I am trying to work out of my people please ways.
I hiked in the rain. I hiked in the cold.
I cherished this time to myself.
It was amazing.
I crossed this creek on stones. My non-agile ass. I didn't fall! I survived! I scrambled over rocks and boulders. And squeezed between trees at times!! Omg. An epic day.
The end was a bit weird. I tried to talk to my diet buddy friends about potentially seeing that guy. And this one gal freaks out on me.....because she just broke up with me ex-wife. Gotdamn it! I spent 12 years getting blamed for her shit. We broke up 10 fucking years ago. No fucking way should I be blamed for her shit anymore.
And she was saying she wanted to date me. WTF. You just broke up with my ex! And damn! I thought we were friends, which I desperately need.
I don't think of her like that anymore. It sucks bit it is true. But I cherish our friendship.
I once thought of dating her.... before she spent 4 years with my ex. But I realized she is, at times, super critical of me. And that makes it a NO GO situation.
Also, body dysmorphia sucks. The older I get the more everything sags and hangs. I don't want to get naked in front of the guy I have adored for 23 years.
