#timediverge

[timedenied-archived-blog]

@timediverge | meme 

 “That’s-!” 

  God, this hurts. What were they even fighting about? Kurisu wanted to scream at him. She wanted so badly to just tell him he was on his own and walk back to her old life. She wanted to disconnect and give him whatever the hell he thought she would do. Why the hell did he have to mess up her life so much? He just showed up out of nowhere and... Well, it is pretty complicated. Even if she doesn’t remember the time they shared before... It still stays with her. Parts of her heart she can’t even understand. 

She didn’t know him. They had barely known each other at all. Three weeks that were erased? A brief encounter after he saved her? A few days in the USA? A few days after that? But the more she learned about Okabe. The REAL him, not his fake personality... The more she felt her heart give. Now she knows him? 

Okabe acts like an egomaniac. But he’s so damaged. He blames himself so quickly. With his overloads and his fights with her... With everything. It can be so hard to tolerate. It’s so stressful just to deal with him. Her life would be a million times easier if she just forgot about him and moved on like she should have. Before she tried to know him. Now she knows him? She knows he’s a self-defeating pain in the ass. How can he be so full of self-loathing and also so full of himself? Isn’t she the same way though? What an ugly thought. 

 She feels her eyes start to sting. She has NEVER cried as much in her life as she has since she met him. What does he expect? Okabe seems like a part of him just expects this to all end. Her to leave and go back to her old life. Why? Because it’s hard? Because he’s difficult? For someone that LOVES her... Does he really think she’ll leave now? She KNOWS him. But there’s so much more she wants to learn. Even so, would it be better for them both to move on? Would her leaving stop his overloads quicker? 

 The idea of him thinking she’ll ditch him now hurts worse than the idea of how difficult this all is. She shouldn’t take it personally. Okabe has issues with himself. Guilt. A tendency to blame himself for every little thing. Her response to push him away... To run from weakness or emotion. It’s so strong that she almost leaves without a word. But instead, that idea feels like a knife in her heart. Not because it would hurt her because... It would hurt HIM. Is that love? The last thing she wants is for him to suffer. It would be easier if she left and moved on but... That’s harder than she could ever imagine. She loves him, right? A world without Okabe.... She doesn’t want that. Especially after she has seen him. The REAL him. The him he doesn’t show. Just like he knows her, maybe better than she knows herself. 

 Instead of following her instincts, she gets closer. She grabs his coat in her hands and blinks away her tears. He’s not like her father. He won’t leave her. Right? He wouldn’t hurt her, would he? She blinks away her tears. Why is she shaking? Damn, Okabe really does make her emotional... how annoying. 

 “So...? Do you think I’m going to leave?” Her voice trembles a little. She doesn’t want to cry. Not now. Showing this much weakness.... This is something she never pictured but somehow... With Okabe... It isn’t so scary anymore. 

 “I don’t want... To go back to a world where you don’t exist...” She says quietly. “I don’t know about love but... I do know you Okabe... I don’t... want to lose you again. So don’t... don’t give up on yourself or... us...” 

[labmems-blog1]

timediverge replied to your post: //Irons bought the ff xiv expansions for me, and I...

//Pray, take a break to prevent thine burnout, Warrior of Light. Mayhap a stint of thy creative outlet will offer sufficient succor for your plight. \

[timedenied-archived-blog]

Pull away the world from me, I don't mind. As long as they don't separate you from me, I'll be fine.

                                                            Indie Okabe Rintaro & Makise Kurisu of                                                                                                                                       Steins;Gate. By Irons and Topaz. 

[timedenied-archived-blog]

╔═══════════════════════════════════════╗   »»————- save you 　 .　　 . ⊹  @timediverge  ————-«« ╚═══════════════════════════════════════╝

↫ ↫ ↫

  Theories painted a clear picture to her. She knew using the time leap machine would be... unpleasant. However, just like how reading the effects of a medication is very different than feeling them yourself... This was far worse than she expected. 

  Whatever was happening moments prior seems like it’s centuries away. Her phone ringing and her, being annoyed for a reason she would later lament as petty, she answered it without thought. As the person that created the time leap machine, she should have been more careful perhaps. Regardless, this was important. 

  Her phone falls to the ground right before she does. She lands on her knees, hard. The pain of that is hardly noticeable compared to her head. It feels like her brain is splitting open. Like reality has been pulled away from her and her sense of self has vanished. For a moment, she can’t even remember her own name. Who she is. Anything. But the sensation fades. Her eyes finally focus on the now. Or rather... whatever time now really is. 

  She’s on the sidewalk. Only a few bystanders watch her before moving on to their own business. She feels her cheeks warm up. Why did she have to fall down in public? Wait... was she really worried about that now...? It’s like her mind is trying to catch up still. It’s daylight outside... Unlike earlier.

  If she remembered correctly, Okabe teasing her had led to her marching outside to get some air. She had been frustrated because of how easily she got flustered. He was way too good at pushing her buttons. It was so annoying...!

 And then it returns. Okabe on the floor of the lab... His blood staining his clothes. Coloring the floor. All she could see was red. Red. Red. Anger. Grief. Blood. Fear. Disbelief. Denial. Blood. Okabe’s blood on Mayuri's dress. Soaking his lab coat. Spilling onto the floor. Red. Despite all this research into time travel... For the first time in her life, it felt like time stopped. The few moments dragged on... for what felt like hours. It felt unreal. Like she’d wake up on the couch or in her hotel room. Like... it didn’t happen. Couldn’t happen. 

  And then she came back here. Just like then, it feels like she’s suddenly disconnected from her own consciousness. She blinks and she’s on her feet. Blinks again and she’s pushing the door to the lab open rather forcefully. For a moment, she expects to see him on the floor. With that fearful yet empty stare. With all that RED. 

  But instead, she’s met with a totally different confused look. She did just barge in after leaving in what, in retrospect, seemed like a temper tantrum. Her heart is still beating as fast as it was when that gunshot tore through the air. Her throat tightens. The LAST thing she wants to do is cry... And yet, her eyes are burning. She blinks away the tears before they become obvious. 

  “Okabe...” She says as if it will truly convince her that he’s REAL. That this isn’t some sort of dissociative episode. She used the time leap machine but... It feels like all of that was just a nightmare. Was it? Could she hope?

  “I... You’re...” Her voice shakes. She sounds weak but... for once she just doesn’t have the strength to care. 

[timedenied-archived-blog]

@timediverge said:  “Even I’m not crazy enough to believe that distortion of reality.” (x)

  “You really are arrogant.” it takes a special sort of person to be like Okabe Rintaro and STILL put other beliefs down. She doesn’t disagree with him, per se. But she still can’t believe the fact that he--

Wait did he say he was crazy? By god, some self awareness. Where the hell did that come from? She’s almost proud of him. Actually, it’s a little worrying. Is he feeling okay? Did something happen? 

  “Where did this self-awareness come from anyway? At least you finally are admitting you’re crazy...” 

[timedenied-archived-blog]

Kurisu hoping she doesn’t know Okabe in the Persona verse. But she probably does. 

[notevenjupiter]

@timediverge​ - continued from here!

“Berlin... Berlin...”

A flood of thoughts rushed through her. Phi had never been to Berlin, at least not that she could recall. But... her memories had been tampered with before, and by the head of an organization. And, ‘another’ Phi did indeed grow up in Germany, engaging in activities that this Phi didn’t have any memory of. Worse still, he was talking about some kind of imposter...

She was running the very real risk at taking him completely at his word, but, in an instant, she was saved from embarrassment. Her eye had caught a glimpse of his phone screen over his shoulder. His home screen. He wasn’t calling anyone.

By the time he made eye contact with her again, she was grinning.

“Yes, Berlin! Thank you, that’s exactly right. You’ll have to excuse my memory, it’s been nearly three decades now, hasn’t it? We were having Himbeergeist on the banks of the Landwehrkanal, toasting to the collapse of the Sozialistische Einheitspartei...”

Two could play at this game.

[labmems-blog1]

@timediverge ╚» ♥ «╝

 • ₊° ᵒ˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗ “Er... Kyouma?”  ˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗

• ₊° ᵒ˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗ They had been doing nothing together, but suddenly... Kyouma flinched and made a noise. She didn’t think much of it, but it seemed like she was being ignored. She’s tried to say three different things to him. All of which, apparently, fell on deaf ears.  ˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗

• ₊° ᵒ˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗ She grabs his shoulder and forces him to face her. She’s worried, sure. Mostly about him losing interest in her. She had always been lonely and well... Kyouma was pretty much the only person in her life at this point.   ˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗

• ₊° ᵒ˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗ “What wrong? Is it a psychic attack from the Organization?” Her voice is full of concern. Mostly fake but she did still worry about him.   ˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗