Nov 19, 2020
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Singapore
I love the way you point to your lips when you want a kiss and then you grin when I laugh. I love how you snooze your alarm 5 times before getting out of bed and then rushing out the door to make it on time to church because we spent too long wrapped in eachother. (I can’t help it, these are my favorite mornings). I love the way you laugh differently when you’re up to no good. I love the way you walk around the kitchen with a spatula while you’re cooking and how hard you squint your eyes when you first wake up because you’re pretty damn blind. I love the way you open doors for me and smile so softly when we stare at eachother too long. I love the way you squeeze my hand at night and remind me to say my prayers. (your name was in every one of them). I love the way you turn your head when you know i’m changing and start smirking like you have something better planned. I love the way you touch me without your hands. I feel you from across the room. I love how you listen to me ramble about the smallest of things that happened during my average day. I love the way you talk to me about planes like I know what the fuck you’re saying. I love your broken pieces even though you hide them with the tough guy act, I promise I feel your hurt too. I love the way you give and never take. I love the way you keep me grounded. I love the way you keep me human. I love the way you make me soft {before you I was outlined in rough edges but you sanded me down}. I love the way you make me feel alive. I love the fact you can tell i’m smiling when my tone of voice changes through the phone. I love that you don’t mind my superstition of kissing in 3’s because I read somewhere that it makes for a life of luck and love. I don’t know, I just love the pieces of you that everyone else never noticed.
-LM
I would be okay with you leaving, I would bloom once again after all the ashes had cleared and embrace the love that is still left within me. I would go about my day and when I reached your side of the city I would admire it for what it once was and turn away {if my smile fades and the tears start to roll, I apologize for missing you a little more than I should}. If you ever called, I would wish you a life full of love and luck but I wouldn’t beg to be in it. If the day came where we bumped into eachother and another girl wore your hand in hers, I would only pray to God that you give her the love you both deserve because I had to live with the notion of never knowing. I would survive losing you. I have lived through the suffering of going on without you before and if I have to walk through life with clouded faith once more, away i’ll go. What I can’t make sense of is the mess we’re entangled in. You let me go and you draw me in. You write me off and then you scribble my name back in your life at your convenience. Your voice is the calmest thing I have ever known but it is also the most destructive storm flowing in and out of my ears. I shouldn’t have to fear you leaving when I am giving you every piece of me and praying for only a fragment of you in return. So leave me or be with me because I am too engulfed with love and life to let you drain me of all I am throwing at you.
// love or leave
LM