To Fly, a Jack Abbot Story - CH.2
Description: You knew Dr. Jack Abbot when you were little, seeing as you had gotten into an accident (which isn't surprising seeing as you were quite the clumsy child growing up). You held a torch for him ever since, and even chose to follow in his footsteps, career-wise that is. Which leads you to intern at the Pitt, and even though you had thought that your big fat crush went away (which your own parents had hoped)- it did in fact not go away, especially when you set your wide eyes on him.
A/N: This chapter is going to be rather heavy, it uncludes suspected child abuse, death of patients, a panic attack/trauma, everything you can imagine with what happened as an aftermath of the PittFest massacre. I haven't had the time to tag everyone, so if I missed you- my bad
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
You were focused on updating your chart when one of your fellow interns stopped right beside you with a tap on the desk of the Hub to announce her presence- which wasn't necessary seeing as you felt her presence from even before that- what with the way you've felt her eyes on you for most of the day- always in interest and amusement as if you were there solely to entertain her.
Which you did not like in the slightest for it brought some type of animal instinct in you that you tried your hardest to ignore-
So you gathered that you would have the talk now then, whatever her look implied that is...
"Hey Wendy, quick question before we get to the most important one-" She started to offhandedly say, before you intervened.
"What's more important than updating one's chart- which you should be doing more of mind. And why are you calling me that, Santos, I wasn't aware we were close." You blankly asked which she blew an imaginary bubble at in false shock.
"Well that's your nickname right? What with you know some of the doctors here calling you by it, so there must be a story behind it and they obviously know you- so, you a nepo-baby or something?"
This took you aback before you shook your head in amusement with a laugh.
"Is that what you all think then? Well to put the record straight- no, I am not a 'nepo-baby' as you say, for I don't have that kind of a relationship with the doctors I'm familiar with here- who, might I add I knew from years ago, and not that long- that, and my parents aren't rich nor do they have such connections in the slightest, seeing as I'm the first of my family to be a doctor, which I, like any one of you worked my ass off, thank you very much. That enough 'tea' for you, Santos? Now, if you're done, I need to get back to my next case, which you should be doing as well." You then promptly told her, which she raised her eyebrows at, before she moved her hands in front of her as if it to say that you should calm your shit, even though you did in fact say it all without any emotion whatsoever, and in one breath- you might have been a rapper in an other life.
"Welp- easy girl, I was just trying to have a friendly chat with you, seeing as we're going to see each other more often from now on. But if don't want to be friends-" She then softly said, which you then softened your tightly held stance at, for you could see the sincerity in her eyes.
Shaking your head at that, you interrupted her, while you let out a breath in not quite frustration, but something of the like, that and - shame, for this wasn't you in the slightest.
"That's not true, sorry, I just don't know your angle, that , and I have trust issues, which is no excuse for my behavior- I'm not like this normally."You then admitted to her, which she laughed at with a nod and a grin.
"Don't worry about, I understand, for same here girl! And it's forgiven- if you answer one last question." She then said with a mischievous look, which you were wary of, before you slowly nodded to her in acquiescence.
Which you will regret a second later, especially after that suspicious twinkle entered her eyes, as if she's struck gold.
"Okay so, you and the silver-haired fox huh," She then slyly asked, which you immediately widened your eyes at in shock, before you felt your face heat up.
"Oh so there is something going on between the both of you- that, or it's one-sided, so am I right? I'm definitely right- right?"She then asked with a shit eating grin, which you stared at in horror.
"I am not going to deign that with an answer," You then sputtered, before you quickly took your tablet in hand and made a hasty escape towards the notice board which would give you your next patient to go to, all the while you avoided bumping into anyone.
Trinity of course immediately jogged towards you, with utter satisfaction painting her face, which you did your hardest to ignore.
"Don't avoid the question, you promised that you would answer it!"
"No, I didn't! Not verbally, I didn't- I only agreed that I would listen to it." You flung back, before you turned to walk towards one of the patient rooms.
"Hey that is so not fair, Wendy, such a cheapskate move, I don't know whether to be annoyed or impressed, but this conversation isn't over with! I'll get an answer from you sooner or later, mark my words!" Trinity then shouted behind you. Her shouting of course caught the attention of the nurses and doctors around you, which included Robby, McKay, Collins and Dana of course- the doctors and headnurse who you knew from before, them and your fellow interns and a handful of the nurses, two in particular that wore looks of intrigue and expectation, like some vultures that spotted a tasty morsel your mind then helpfully supplied, which you weren't thankful for in the slightest.
"Wait up!" You then heard McKay call out to you, before she made her way to join you, which then made you slow your strides your gaze immediately set on hers in expectation.
"Wow, I'm still not over the fact that you grew, and that you're a doctor nonetheless! Which I shouldn't be surprised by in the slightest, now that I think about it." She then spoke with a smile, which you tilted your head at, abashed and in curiosity.
"Really?"You asked with your gaze to the ground for a moment, which made her look at you with a warm gaze, which you felt very awkward by even though you had a positive bond with your own mother- older people just brought that feeling in you.
Especially a certain older man- and like record, that admission quickly got cut off.
"Of course, you were always the smart cookie- no pun intended, so no surprise there," She then answered before she bumped her shoulder gently to yours with a sly grin that spoke of many things, things you did not know of in the slightest- but some of her other colleagues definitely knew the answer of.
"So, who was it that inspired you to follow this career, for you must have been, even when the some of the sights you had seen all those years ago weren't that pretty." She then asked you in a confidential way which you widened your eyes at before you shook you head in a quick motion and answered her with a straight expression- to deflect from giving her your true answer .
"You and everyone here of course, doctor McKay," You kindly answered with a warm smile, which she found hard to find any deceit in, so she only shook her head at you with a chuckle.
"Alright then, very cute. Let's see about our patient then, shall we?"
"We shall, after you doctor,"You answered while you opened the door for her.
"Why, thank you, doctor."
You were told that the patient, a young girl, had minor injuries, but that the subject needed a doctor's evaluation nonetheless. And turning towards the patient with a ready smile- it faltered at the sight of the quiet girl sitting on the bed, while her father- a large man held a hand ready on her shoulder.
His stern gaze turning towards the both of you in greeting, which his child did not look towards, for she seemed to be in a world of her own. Her form tiny on the bed, and hands set tightly in her lap as if it was an automatic response- as if she had been taught to be unobtrusive.
This immediately set you on edge, even before the father could utter a single word towards the both of you- which wasn't in greeting, mind, but in annoyance.
"The nurses from before already checked, and treated her, I don't know why you are here, nor why this is taking so goddamned long," He grimaced at the both of you.
And from beside you, doctor McKay stood at attention at the man's words, but also at the sight of the young girl who couldn't be older than eight.
"That might be sir, but this is simply protocol- just in case." You politely told the man while you introduced yourself to the both of them.
"And this is doctor McKay, she will be overseeing me. Can you tell me what happened?" You then asked, and before the man could respond with negativity, you reminded him that you were only following protocol, which he then acquiesced to, unwillingly that is.
"What is there more to say- the kid fell, as you can see." He then pointedly told the both of you while he waved towards the state his daughter was in, which the child did not react to. For she was still quiet and frozen on the bed.
Turning towards doctor McKay, you watched as her own eyes sharpened upon the child with an emotion.
Kneeling in front of the girl, so you were at eye-level with her- slowly, and carefully, as to not spook her.
"Can you tell me where it hurts the most, Lena?" You softly asked her, all the while you tried to meet her gaze.
You then saw her fingers twitch for a moment, but nothing else.
But you didn't let it bother you, and waited patiently to hear what the child would say, for this situation needed to be handled delicately.
You then heard her father from her other side exhale with a huff,
"She's tired. We had a long day." he started to explain instead of the child, which you simply nodded to but your gaze was solely fixed on the small girl in front of you.
"That's okay, I understand." You gently told, but to the child, who then met your gaze at last. And looking into the girl's eyes, you felt a pang in your heart- for the eyes that stared at you should never have been on a young child's face.
For they seemed older than her physical age would state, and neither was she frightened, nor confused- just distant.
She then pointed towards where she felt hurt, which you carefully examined, telling her what you were about to do, all the while you asked her for permission to touch you on the mentioned spots- which the younger girl gave with surprise, before she then flinched at one particular spot when you pressed down upon it.
She didn't flinch away from your hand, no, she turned inward- as though she was bracing her for something else...which made your hand falter for a moment in realisation at the action, before you quickly forced yourself to continue, even more gently, which the girl seemed to appreciate by the way she let go of her tightly held stance, and leaned towards you like a skittish animal.
Holding onto her small hand in yours, you made a mental check: the injuries were superficial, simple bruises which were painful to touch for the child- but they weren't life-threatening, for her reactions did not point to any other conditions than what her physical state showed.
Which you relayed to the room, before you turned your gaze towards the child in front of you who kept her attention on you for the entirety of the examination- in a curious way.
That made you make your next decision, for you couldn't leave it here- you couldn't just let the child go, for your gut was shouting at you that something was wrong, and this was protocol for a reason, so you turned your gaze towards that of her annoyed father.
"Everything seems to be in order and can be helped with the medication and salves that we will write up for you, but before that, there is one last examination we have to do- we need a urine example to examine the full state of her condition, sir." You told him, which he frowned even more at, but before he could say anything about it, doctor McKay then interjected.
"That is very true, it'll only take just one moment, sweetheart are you up to go with the doctor to the bathroom to pee in this cup?" She then gently asked to the child, who then nodded to her, before she turned to you in expectation, and you gently smiled at her before you moved your hands towards her.
"Is it alright if I help you down, Lena?" You asked her, which she quickly nodded to in answer.
"That's okay, doctor."
You gently set her on the ground, before you gave her your hand, which she quickly put in yours.
"We'll be quick, sir." You then told the man, before you moved to walk out of the room, but not before nodding to doctor McKay with a look, which she understood and returned, before she turned her attention towards the father.
The urine sample was clear- there wasn't any blood in it, it was normal.
This should have made you happy, that the child did not have any hemorrhaging, that there was no sign of any internal injury, but-you still felt unsettled. Even after you carefully asked Lena if she experienced any harm at school or at home, which she denied.
And you left it at that, and made your way back to her father, even when everything was shouting at you that this was a mistake, that you should ask her more-
"What do we say to the nice doctors, Lena."You then heard her father ask in expectation.
"Thank you." She automatically answered, which you and doctor McKay nodded to, even when you felt your throat tighten.
"You're welcome, if you want- there's some cookies I baked that you can take with you, just ask for Dana, the headnurse to grab it for you- don't worry, they're allergy-friendly, and delicious." You softly told her before, which made smile at you in delight- the first child-like reaction she showed you for the entire time you've known her.
She then thanked you before you felt doctor McKay gently touch you on your shoulder to leave.
"You did everything right, "She told you outside of the room in reassurance, but you weren't sure if you believed her, for it didn't feel like it.
You felt as though you had failed- failed Lena.
The rest of the day blurred, and you moved on automatic mode, ready for whatever was thrown your way, all with muted precision for you could not falter- you would not falter, not now.
As you listened to the debrief, you listened and nodded accordingly next to Mel, whom you had supported when she became overwhelmed after having been made to share the news of Amber's condition to her younger sister.
For Amber had died. You tried to interject at the order, for you knew that it would be especially hard for her, but you had been denied. And here the both of you were- at the aftermath of it all, listening to Robby instruct you all on how to act accordingly for the honour-walk.
The hallway was quiet and reverent when the gurney that contained Amber's concealed body passed before the lined staff, who bowed in respect at the deceased.
And then it was over, for the world resumed, and with it your expected attention for the next patients.
Someone called for labs, while others called for a consult. A monitor beeping too loud all the while. And the day continued on in that exact way, uncaring for whatever you might have felt, and still feel.
And so you kept moving, seeing your attending nod to you, Robby watched you handle the patient in front of you, with the rest of your fellow interns standing beside you, ready to step in if necessary. Which you declined, for you could do this.
You had to.
And then hours later the Pitt-Fest casualties happened, bringing hell straight to the Pitt's doors.
You were ushered into expected motion, into triage.
The noise alone was overwhelming, making you feel like you were drowning from the inside, for you did not dare let it show on the outside.
For you forced yourself to be sharp and efficient- you became the tool you were meant to be.
You did not stop for hours, not even pausing to take a breather- that is until a familiar warm hand landed on your shoulder, grounding you, and bringing your attention to its owner in instinct.
"You did well, Wendy." Doctor Abbot gently told you when you turned towards him.
His seemed to read something in you which shattered his expression for a moment before it softened, the concern breaking through his carefully held composure.
"You alright? It's alright if you need to take a breather-"
You shook your head quickly at that, before you stepped away from him, which he immediately noticed with a frown.
"I'm fine."
You had been working with all of the doctors, which included him through most of it. You moved in tandem with him, as though this wasn't your first rodeo- fetching and doing what he needed before he even asked you, and positioning yourself where you were most useful- adapting without instruction as though it was second nature to you.
And with the day you were having- maybe it was.
He noticed it all when he could spare a second to glance around, where his gaze mostly then landed to watch you, to see how you were handling everything.
And you made him proud, but that made it worse- because he could see the cracks now.
Especially the way your hands lingered a fraction too long after the last patient. And the way he could see the way your eyes seemed unfocused now.
"The worst is over with, it'll be alright if you take a breather now- go, or I'll carry you out of here, and you bet I will, your choice, sweetheart." Jack then told you while he leaned closer to you, and stared straight into your eyes to make sure you understood that he wasn't joking.
And so you simply nodded, for you knew that he wouldn't budge, especially not this.
"Alright." You quietly answered, and you were then rewarded with a warm smile, which captivated you, and made your heart beat traitorously.
"Good choice."
You stared at your hands in the bathroom, after you changed your scrubs and refreshed yourself.
They were still red, even when nothing showed- you scrubbed at them, hard.
Over and over.
The water ran cold, and then hot from the way you rubbed at the skin harshly.
It burned.
You needed to get it out- your fingers trembled.
You felt like you were bathed in it- the blood.
You felt your throat close in a familiar way then, making the oxygen stay lodged there.
You couldn't breathe.
Taking water in your hands, you slapped your face with it- again, and again, making you gasp, and try to ground yourself throughout the shock of it all.
You then leaned against the sink afterwards, all the while you shook like a leaf at the mirror in front of you.
You took one last breath before you forced yourself to straighten up. Smoothing your scrubs, you then lifted your gaze and turned towards the door with a final nod.
You were alright.
And you will continue to be so.
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