Sep 9, 2020
Sometimes it's best to leave things unspoken and just enjoy each others company
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Sometimes it's best to leave things unspoken and just enjoy each others company
8.October.2020 - THE MOOD-SHADES OF A READER
Eighth of October and I only read like... six pages? I wasn't feeling it today, hmm? *sigh*
Sometimes the thoughts of reality are heavy, that not even a book can lighten them a bit. So what next? I have no idea.
Feels like I lost the key to my favorite place on earth. It opens up a world full of magic, surprises, adventure, emotions and so much more. I have to find it,... I will find it again. Please mood Nr°3 [overthinking mode] , have mercy and leave, so that mood Nr°1 [inner peace, happiness and love (especially self love)] can be reborn.
Ich möchte nicht mehr an dich denken.
Ich möchte gar nicht mehr denken.
Ich möchte nicht mehr fühlen.
Denn meine Gefühle tun gerade weh.
Ich möchte nie wieder fühlen.
Oder etwas wollen.
Oder denken.
Tot sein wäre perfekt gerade.
This.year.sucks.so.bad.
Like I couldn't be more stressed out this month then I find out that a very important piece of mail may have been lost and it isn't my fault and it wasn't my responsibility to make sure that didn't happened yet here I am. Having to clean this mess and pray to God everything dosen't get worse. Once this is all settled I'm probably going to be alot happier Right now I want to cease existing.
But mostly scream.
On a positive note here is a really awesome song this artist does some interesting anime music mostly very lewd I like this one alot. But I may be biased because I like Berserk and Guts is hot and Griffith is beautiful and Casca is a Queen. Okay rant over...
Not important- just letting thing out.
I've never once claimed to be perfect. I've never once said that I was better than anyone. There's only so many things you can say or do to show someone you're just looking out for what's best for them and they see it as attacking someone. When in fact your not "attacking" them you're pointing out the facts. I've seen what drugs do to someone's life. How much it ruins everything and everyone around. I've seen how the system lies, even if someone is still in the wrong, they still lied to get you. As much as I'd love to say "cops help so much" I can't. Because before they supposedly helped us, we had money,job somewhat of a life. By no means was it awesome or whatever, but we had what we needed to get by even if it wasn't all the right way of doing things. Fast forward, now I'm not underage anymore, I've got such bad social anxiety, depression and fear that I hate leaving the house much less getting out of bed. My mom, has no driver's license, has a part time job that doesn't provide for her much less all of us (her parents n me) **or pay for her driver's license back**. Her 81 year old father helps a farmer but that's seasonal and he's getting up there in age, he isn't going to be able to drive forever.
I remember lyin' there Eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling Got caught up in your affair Way to soon, now I'm fighting that feeling Of falling in love again Keep yourself closed While I wait around hopin' You stop treating me like a friend When you know you want more and my door's wide open
Ruuth - All About
Feeling hurt, drinking that shit down clink clink cunts 🥂