#overthinking it

[marginallyfandom]

Ok look. I am aware the canon's suggestion of not thinking too hard about things is baked into the expected suspension of disbelief required to buy in to the Fallout universe as a whole.

It is entirely my own brand of crazy that is obsessing over and asking questions about very specific things that 100% fall under "because canon says so".

But also I love details and have such a heart for them and as one of very few people who not only care but care very deeply about the Vault plotlines through not only the show but all of the games... I just have to think about them, okay?

This ramble brought to by the entirely too many hours I've spent thinking about food in the vaults.

[jilllianalexiss]

42, 62 & 65!

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

I love making out so sooo much & if it’s new I thiiiink I could just kiss all night. but if I realllly really wantt it maybe 30 minutes 🥺🤭

I would love to time how long I could last

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

oh god so so many things so hard to only pick one

make me feel safe, make me feel comfortable & taken care of, teach me new things, be considerate, make me laugh, be thoughtful, listen & remember intimate details, go out of your way to make my day better/easier, kiss parts of me no one else has, cook for me, wash/play with my hair, have rules for me, know how to take control when I need it (always) & make all my decisions for me ❣️ (half kidding)

did that answer ur question??? could truly go on for 6 more paragraphs

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

mmm not having a routine. taking as long as possible, messy kissing and lots of eye contact & grabbing & pushing & tons and tons of talking & teasing 🫠🥵

[hellomynameiswhatmynameiswho]

sometimes i remember chell may be a shortened version of michelle, name meaning "who is like god" and then wonder if she ever asked and obviously answered her own question. i know chell was pissed, but she had to be scared too. did she have a religion before aperture? does she have one after she escapes the facility? can anybody agree that sometimes the game did seem to have religious undertones or is it just me. also, caroline means "free woman", yet she is not free. gladys (the name that glados sounds like) means ruler but also a welsh form of claudia which means enclosure

goddammit valve just release another game please i beg of you im picking at breadcrumbs

[slainshadowsoul1823]

It's that

time where you're trying to do something so simple you should know how to do but suddenly can't remember how to do it. Despite doing it many times before. Feeling really stupid. Fuck Brainfog & Overthinking.

[wanderingmind867]

I don't feel bad admitting I have depression of a sort. I just don't want anyone thinking I'm ever suicidal or chronically depressed to the point of feeling completely unhappy. That's never how I feel. It doesn't ever get that bad. It can get bad, but you know...I resent any sort of aspersions that might be cast towards my personal stability in any way beyond that. Due to my dad and my therapist and my interests and stuff, I have an ability to avoid that complete darkness of depression.

But, with my hyperfixation on comics stagnating (if it's not ending, it's definitely stagnating), that means I'm definitely just going through a lot of stuff. And the lack of a super strong hyperfixation means I'm kind of stuck in this weird limbo where the merest things can set my mood spiralling. That's how I sometimes feel, at least. The weather being really dark and rainy out has probably contributed to the strengthening of these emotions. I'm fine, but I do feel mildly existential and sad. Still, expressing these feelings can really be quite helpful.

PS: I was picking at dead skin on my head while I wrote this, and I almost gave myself tears from it (I think). I also might've gotten sad because I felt guilty about never telling my therapist I had an account on here. There's more to it than just that, but you know...that's a part of it.

[kunstmull]

Death of the Reader

Forgive me, I need to have a moan about something that is so endemic in fandom culture these days that this is not about the person, it's about an ignorant mindset that really winds me up. Identities obscured so please do not take this to the person if you recognise the post. Just consider it more of an 'if you do this kind of thing, please reconsider' type of thing.

THE CHARACTER IS NOT THE AUTHOR. THE AUTHOR IS NOT THE AUTHOR. Come on, this is like basic reading comprehension that even Americans are supposed to get taught in about Grade 6.

If a character says something repeatedly, maybe the author is trying to tell you something about that character, about the narrator, about the situation, the world, etc. This goes double in Sci-fi where language is a huge part of the worldbuilding.

There are literally a couple of clues in the paragraph that has been screengrabbed here. First, the narrator (Doll) states that the obvious profanity is in a language that they don't even recognise. Hence why Doll refers to it as 'Kyokutou profanity' - they don't even know enough about Imai or the native language he lapses into to identify it beyond 'East Asian'.

Second, it is in italics. This is another clue that Imai is speaking a different language. (Most of their conversation is in Galactech, one of two international business Pidgins in this universe, the other being Interlang.)

Doll does not know what the exact swear is, but recognises it as profantiy. So Doll swaps in a similar word from their own native language: balls.

Ironically, this is actually foreshadowing, if you're paying attention. Balls / baws / bollocks is a common British swear. At this point in the story, Doll actually has amnesia and doesn't know their own origin or nationality. But the fact that Doll reaches for a British slang term to translate Imai's Nihongo profanity is giving you a big clue about who Doll is, and where they come from.

It's just annoying. I spent quite a lot of time working on worldbuilding, and the language, even down to the swearwords, was something I wrote so specifically. 'Galactech' is supposed to be a pidgin of Japanese and Chinese technological language - which is why Galactech has no word for 'soul'. Interlang, on the other hand, is supposed to be internet English projected thousands of years into the future. Imai speaks perfect Galactech in addition to Nihongo because he trained at the Galactech Centre, but his Interlang is rudimentary because he was a rube who grew up on a trash planet in the backwaters of the Gunma System. The fact that Doll initially greets Imai in Interlang before switching to Galachtech is also significant.

In a spacefaring civilisation based on East Asian culture, what would the swears be? It's a fun thing to think about - without Christianity, what would replace the casual 'Jeez!' or 'Christ' that American characters would throw about? I went with 'Stars' (a Becky Chambers-ism) for casual amazement, and 'balls' for more earthy profanities. The only person who uses 'Jesus Christ!' as an exclamation is the lone Brit, Watts. Once Doll recovers their full memory, a careful reader might notice them start to use 'Christ' instead of 'stars'.

I don't actually know enough conversational Japanese to come up with the specific Nihongo term that Imai would be using, that Doll interprets as 'balls'. I like to think it's actually possible that future sci-fi Imai is as much of an anglophile as the original, in which case balls / baws / bollocks would be a good guess as to what the actual profanity is!

[delunfiltered]

I Am Embarrassing and That’s Okay

Deciding to stop caring about you, your mum, or your grandma thinking I’m cringe…

Cringe Is a Universal Experience (Congrats, You're Normal)

Ever laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about that one thing you said years ago and cringing so hard you want to delete yourself from existence?

Same.

If that sounds like you, welcome. Keep reading.

We All Have “Negative Aura” Moments

My best friend and I once made a collection of our most embarrassing stories in our notes app to show each-other, our “negative aura moments”.

We laughed so hard reading through them. Like, tears streaming, snorting, hard to breathe laughing.

What hit me the most? The fact that in the moment, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me… but looking back? It’s just funny. So stupidly human and funny.

Spoiler: Everyone Is Embarrassing

Every single person on this planet has done something cringe. Yes, even your crush. Even your favourite celebrity. Even that one perfect Instagram girl who looks like she doesn’t even fart.

We are all embarrassing. And the sooner you accept that, the freer you’ll feel.

Exhibit A: The Wave Incident

Just the other day, I thought someone was waving at me, so I waved back enthusiastically... Only to realise they were waving at the person behind me.

Cue me immediately texting Yasmin like, “I just waved at a stranger for no reason?? They probably think I’m so weird.”

And maybe they do. But are they going to remember it forever? Are they going to be 87 years old in a care home thinking, “Haha, remember when that random girl waved at me that one time in Tesco?”

Absolutely not.

Fear of Being Embarrassing Is Holding Us Back

So many of us stop ourselves from doing things; fun things, creative things, gutsy things, because we’re afraid of being seen as “cringe.”

“I can’t post that TikTok, what if people think I’m weird?” “I want to wear this outfit but what if someone laughs?” “I want to say something but what if I sound dumb?”

I’ve been there. A lot. But lately? I’ve stopped caring.

We get one life. And if you’re not doing something because you’re afraid of people judging you, you’re going to miss out on so much good stuff.

Cringe ≠ Insecurity (But It Feels Similar)

Here’s the thing: Insecurity is about how you see yourself. Cringe is about how you think others see you.

Insecurity takes time to work through. It takes self-love, self-reflection, growth. But embarrassment? You can decide right now to stop giving it power.

Let them think you’re a bit weird. Let them roll their eyes. Let them gossip, cringe, or even laugh.

You’ll survive.

Better yet, you’ll live.

Be Cringe and Free

So here’s your permission slip to be the main character. Be weird. Be messy. Be too much. Be cringe.

Because you know what’s way more embarrassing than being embarrassing?

Letting the fear of it stop you from living.

So yeah, I’m embarrassing. But at least I didn’t fall down the stairs on a double decker bus and flash my Gudetama underpants at a group of pensioners and a labrador… wait. No. That was me...