Jameson and Avery are technically not related. Heavy emphasis on technically because only DNA is saving their ass
Like Jameson is dating his ex girlfriend's brother's situationship's daughter, who inherited his grandfather's entire fortune. Oh also his mom and her dad were sleeping together trying for a baby... A BABY. And the ex girlfriend's brother is his adoptive uncle who also signed Avery's birth certificate and calls her his daughter <3
Edit:- His older brother is married to her older sister
Now imagine them trying to explain this to their kids
the most gut wrenching part about toby and hannah's story is that you KNOW how it ends, there is no way for them to ever get their happy ending, no matter how many cute scenes from their past we read or how many novellas are released... toby hates himself for what he did on hawthorne island and hannah's dead and thats just the way it is ☹️
its like u read the most romantic, giggling kicking your feet scene and also the most deep and soul crushing epic-once-in-a-lifetime love scene of them, and youre like "aw! they're so cute! cant wait to keep reading!" ... then you remember 🙂
You know you're traumatized when on a random Friday, at 2:20, you start thinking about and tearing up over The Same Backward as Forward and the fact that Toby "kept watch" over Avery all those years because he loved Hannah and wanted to care for her daughter, the last remaining piece of her.
So I did end up pushing this fic back, but it's only been .. a lot of days. I'm well aware it's a Tuesday, but honestly who cares. I'm dying for the Same Backward as Forward to come out, because I desperately need to know how Toby felt when he held Avery for the first time. But I guess we'll js fanfic our way out. I put a link to this story on Ao3 if you're into that. The Vault just showed back up, which means this place will stop being empty. YAY.
This fic stars our favorite father-daughter pair throughout the couple of years we see Avery in TIG. Therefore, in this fic, Hannah (Sarah) isn't alive. So back out anytime, this is HEAVY ON ANGST. HEAVY. SO DAMN HEAVY. There's a few time skips, but that's when we canonically see Toby, so it's fine, just read THL, TFG, or GU if you miss him. TRIGGER WARNING - Eve (that asshole) shows up for a bit.
If you're on dark mode, pls switch it rq, I'm sorry this blue is so painful. I'm on dark mode, too, but apparently light mode is more common. The rest of the fic is normal colored soo....
Read and have fun!
Hannah ... the Same Backward as Forward ... it's been a while. About 18 years.
I should've visited you earlier, I just couldn't.
If you were here, you would've told me to not avoid it.
Well, I stopped avoiding it.
Toby kept an eye on everyone: the Hawthornes, Jackson Currie, and even the Laughlins.
So of course he kept an eye on Hannah.
Sarah. He reminded himself. She’s Sarah now.
Toby didn’t like it, but he wasn’t going to refer to her otherwise, in fear of compromising her identity.
And then he started seeing medical documents.
For her.
It all happened so quickly, he couldn’t even say goodbye.
Cancer? The Hannah Rooney, his Hannah Rooney, so bold and brilliant and brave, dead because of cancer?
To the rest of the world, it was just another day, and yet, Toby felt his heart crack.
That was how he found himself in the park near New Castle the day after she died.
Hannah had left the earth, but she had left behind the one gift Toby had managed to give her.
And Toby needed to make sure that she was okay.
Well, I didn't avoid one thing. I finally did it. A while ago actually.
I me your daughter.
Toby felt a crowd surrounding him, but he kept his eyes firmly shut, until he felt a gentle touch to his shoulder.
He opened his eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the light-
And he blinked again.
“Can you play chess?” A familiar voice surrounded him, and he could’ve almost cried, because she sounded like a younger Hannah.
Avery.
She played just like Hannah as well. Toby’s head hurt. She had been buried the day before, and yet it was like she had never left.
“Checkmate.” He trapped Avery’s king with a bishop.
Her eyes widened, and Toby almost laughed. She probably never lost.
“Who are you?”
Toby raised an eyebrow. “Win tomorrow, and then you’ll find out.”
Avery’s eyes lit up. “Alright, old man. Thanks for the game.” She shook his hand, and he watched as she left.
We played chess together three times a week for almost a year, Hannah.
She's a brilliant chess player, she plays better than you. She plays better than me.
She's incredible, so incredible.
But I wasn't the only one who thought that.
From an objective viewpoint, and even a biased one, Avery was definitely one of the best chess players Toby had ever met. He had only ever been beaten by his father, and on occasion, Hannah.
But Avery had won so many times, and his heart filled with joy each time.
Though it quickly soured when she insisted on wasting money for his breakfast.
Generous. And definitely much less pissed about it than Hannah.
But one day, she didn’t show up to play, or the next.
Toby was suspicious, but tried to convince himself her sister Libby had finally put a stop to playing chess with random strangers thing.
He went to Hannah’s old diner, where he knew Avery worked after she died.
The manager had tried to kick him out, but he surprised her by pulling out a wad of old bills, enough for a meal and tip with money to spare.
“Tobias Hawthorne's death shocked the world earlier this month-“
Toby turned to the TV. He knew his father had died, but he wasn’t aware any recent news had come out regarding it.
“Mr. Hawthorne was a revolutionary name in oil, and he is one of the richest men to have graced this planet, with over 46.2 billion dollars to his name. His will was read earlier this week, and his family released a press statement today.” A picture of the Hawthorne family before Tobias’ death was shown on screen.
Toby had left his old life behind, but he still kept tabs on Skye and Zara. He harbored (very little, but just enough) love towards his siblings; they had helped him live a happy life, and he wished they were all equal in opportunity, for he might have stayed longer.
He had no other reason to watch; his father was dead, and hadn’t found him before his death, and his mother had died long before. If Toby was in the will, he would’ve been found by now, and if he hadn’t been found, the will likely would’ve been void.
“Tobias Hawthorne shocked the world when he left all of his wealth to who the public has given the moniker ‘The Hawthorne Heiress.’”
Toby raised an eyebrow. He had expected it to be split equally among the Hawthornes, or for Tobias to have had some sort of elaborate formula determining the division. Or even to go majorly to one Hawthorne specifically.
Toby didn’t remember any female grandchildren, and a quick assessment of the photo proved him right; all of Skye’s sons would’ve been heirs.
Bear with me, Hannah. I'm so, so sorry this had to happen.
I didn't want it, and neither did you, but does my father care? Does he listen?
Unless …
Toby felt a sinking feeling in his gut. Tobias Hawthorne I was capable of everything and anything, and he wouldn’t have put it past his father to have found Avery’s birth certificate.
With my original signature.
Or had it been before that? Had he put a satellite on the lighthouse, found Hannah?
“We’re fortunate enough to have her on today as a guest,” the newscaster continued. “Please welcome the Hawthorne Heiress, Avery Kylie Grambs!”
Toby grimaced and he watched, as Avery, with different hair and makeup, but undeniably Avery, showed up on the screen.
Something inside him shattered, and he felt himself fade away in pain. He had promised Hannah that his distance would keep the Hawthorne’s away from them, and yet, here he was, watching the consequences as he failed again.
He sat back numbly, and called a waiter over, asking for a drink.
Whiskey in hand, he watched the interview.
O Hannah, My Hannah, the Same Backward as Forward, how I have failed you.
I’m so sorry.
My father chose her to inherit his fortune.
I shouldn't have signed her birth certificate, but I did.
Maybe this happened because I signed it. Maybe that's why he went for her. I should've stayed.
I would've fought against it.
She's been through too much. She's gotten kidnapped, almost blown up, placed in too many dangerous situations.
I'm a Hawthorne. I like danger. I don't like my daughter being put in danger.
She's my daughter. It's what you wanted for her and me.
I wish I hadn't been so gallant that day. I wish I hadn't been away for her whole life.
A lot could happen in a year.
Within a year, Toby had gotten addicted to drugs, set an island on fire, killed two people, gotten barbecued, gotten off drugs, gotten back on drugs, gotten un-barbecued, back off drugs, fallen in love and run away once more.
Within a year, Avery had gone from nobody to the richest teenager in the world, gotten put in a coma, kidnapped, watched a man get murdered, and out-maneuvered William Blake. And also fallen in love. (Not necessarily in that order.)
That makes us very similar, I suppose. And yet so different.
Toby had delivered Avery. He had given her her name, and signed her birth certificate. But she wasn’t his biologically.
He hadn’t seen Hannah for over three years when she’d gotten pregnant. And he kept avoiding her afterward. It was pure chance that brought him to the apartment that day, and it resulted in him helping her bless the world with a beautiful baby girl.
But he hadn’t even known Eve existed until she was almost fully grown. Remorse had engulfed him when he found out, and he made an attempt to reach out- desperate to not repeat past mistakes.
Look where that got you.
Eve was a manipulative, cruel girl, but she was his daughter, his flesh and blood. He had 50% of the blame for her existence, and despite all of her actions, he had a little shred of love in his heart for her, and it prevented him from trying to set the whole place on fire.
By an incredibly small margin.
Vincent Blake’s health began deteriorating, and his condition began getting worse and worse to the point where he couldn’t move for days.
Toby watched as Eve’s panic rose enough to send Blake to a hospital, and she grew more stressed as she began taking on the duties of money and society.
“Help me, you useless old man!” she had yelled. “You’re my father, and you’re stuck in this house!”
Toby had never been in greater pain in his life, but he forced himself up, lit a cigarette, and began filing taxes at an absurdly slow pace, fighting the urge to set the papers on fire.
He’d dug his own grave long ago, and now he was forcing himself to lay in it.
But his punishment was for him and him only.
So when he saw Eve repeatedly dial Grayson, and leave the house with Slater, he took note.
After she had been gone for three days, he picked up his phone and dialed.
Nothing I touch ever comes out well.
Look at Eve. She's part-me, and I'm not proud of what she's done.
Look at Avery. She got into this mess because of me, and she's been near gunshots, bombs, the paparazzi...
Look at you. You're ... not here anymore.
Avery’s phone rarely ever rang; only a few people had her number, and she lived with almost every single one of them.
Jameson gave her her phone. “Unknown number, and three missed calls.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Do you know this number?”
He shook his head. “Are you going to pick up?”
“Alisa would say no … so-“
She picked up.
“Go for Avery Grambs.”
“Oh, you horrible girl.” Toby’s voice cracked slightly with emotion.
Avery almost dropped the phone. “Toby?” She saw Jameson’s eyebrows fly into his hair, and he left the room, giving her a little bit of privacy.
“I am he, nice of you to notice.”
She could’ve cried, and she could tell that he wanted to as well. “I’m doing as good as I can be, how about you?” she asked, answering his earlier question.
“As well as I can be, given the whole … situation.”
Avery clutched the phone. “What situation? Do you need help? Are you in danger?”
“I’m always in danger, I’m supposed to be dead as of twenty years ago.”
“Toby.” When he didn’t respond, she tried again. “Toby. Harry!”
That garnered a reaction. “Your mother gave me that name, did you know that?”
“What?”
“She didn’t want anything to do with Hawthornes and my amnesiac self didn’t know my own name. She called me Harry, I called her Hannah, and now she’s Sarah, and I’m Toby again. Life is funny sometimes.”
Jameson had left the room earlier, and she was wishing he didn’t; it sounded like Hawthorne code, and Avery was not privy to this one. “Please tell me you’re not dying.”
“Horrible girl.” Avery’s heart beamed with the sentiment. “I’m fine, and so is a certain Blake, though a certain Hawthorne may not be.”
Avery’s happy mood soured. “Jameson?”
“Grayson.”
Avery let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding in- and then she processed the statement. “Grayson?” she asked incredulously. “Explain.”
And he did. “Eve called him a few times earlier this week, and she's trying to convince him to forgive her, I think."
Avery scoffed, and she heard Toby chuckle through the phone. "I don't think he's that susceptible to her anymore."
"Neither did I. But she left the house a few days ago, and -" she heard some keys clicking and some shuffling as Toby opened a computer. "-she came back a few hours ago, she's driving here right now. I think she went to visit Grayson."
Avery nodded, and then remembered he couldn't see her through the phone. "Grayson's in the house right now. He looked fine earlier, but I honestly cannot tell with him." Her breath caught in her throat as she remembered what Toby had said earlier. "Wait, is Eve okay?"
Toby sighed. "Eve is fine. Maybe a little stressed, but she's doing okay."
And if she's fine, and Toby isn't lying about being alive ... then ...
"What about Blake ... Vincent?"
"Right on the money, princess." Avery smiled. "He has some heart problems, and unfortunately for him and me, they aren't bad enough to send him to my father yet. He entered surgery yesterday- they performed a double bypass, and he's set to make a full recovery."
"Good for him." Avery gritted out. "Hopefully a woman led that surgery."
"The main surgeon and two assistants were women."
Avery laughed, but sobered when she heard Toby talk. "Eve is going to be back in five minutes."
"What would you rate the chances of her being okay with us talking?"
"From 1-10 ... a very risky gamble."
Avery could hear his proud smile through the phone, and she grinned. "Jameson would take that bet."
"Hmm." Both of them were avoiding the goodbye and they both knew it. "When it could put your life at risk? Check again."
She sighed. If Eve got angry enough, she would try to harm Avery, money or not. "Will I ever-"
"We run in the same circles, I would be more surprised if I don't see you in person."
She could've cried. She hated saying goodbye to Toby, especially when each time it came closer to being the last time she ever said it. She opened her mouth to say something and heard a door slam on his side of the call. her phone beeped, signifying the end of the call, and Avery stood for a few seconds, her phone still pressed to her ear.
I'll see you next time, Toby, she thought. And maybe then you'll stay.
I don't know if I'll see her again, Hannah. I could die before that. Knowing the Blakes, I will die before she does.
But I've seen you now and for that I'm eternally grateful.
There was a before you, but there was never really an 'after you.'
There was just ... you.
You started my story. You created a better person than I ever could have been.
I met you when all I knew was pain, and now that you're not here, I only know pain.
But you showed me love.
I owe you my life.
Toby knelt in front of the gravestone, and leaned his head against the cold stone.
Thank you, Hannah the Same Backward as Forward.
fin.
ENDING NOTES
That was the saddest thing I've ever written. There is a reason I specialize in angst. Sad characters are somehow easier to write than happy ones. There will probably not be a single fic I write where someone isn't drinking or smoking. AHem not true
Thanks for reading - please like, reblog and leave feedback in the notes. Or just throw blackberries at me. Anything works.
This fic is BLUE! Because blue is sad, and so is this fic. It's an eyesore in dark mode, so it should be good in light mode.
in honor of the vault reopening, and GR having a Grayson POV, am I writing part two of Partners in Wine?
(Genuinely I have no idea if I can even finish it, let's see)
Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, which is always open and taking new additions at all times of day.
