Hey lazy, how not to be angry at the injustice and stupidity of the world? I've read enough history to know it's basically always been like this, and have enough intellectual knowledge of Buddha Dharma and psychology to understand its caused by the three poisons that we're all subject to, even me. Yet I see the stupidity and cruelty around the world and in the US and it has me metaphorically kicking Mister Rogers and Keanu Reeves out of my head in favor of Johns Wick and Rambo. Regardless of how much of a pacifist I am it feels like the only way we're going to get people to do the right thing at this point is force and it's heart breaking and infuriating.
Sometimes you just have to be heartbroken.
The problem is that we never learned how.
Too many people have tried to change the world because of hurt feelings and reactive anger. They are still doing it. In the end, regardless of how noble it may appear, it is in fact essentially selfish. Because their actions are undertaken in order to relieve themselves of their own suffering.
It is true that sometimes you just gotta channel John Wick and crack some skulls. But this problem will not be solved by doing the same shit as before. Like you say, you know enough history to understand how that plays out.
So please understand that in no way am I advocating doing nothing for those who are suffering in this world. But first you need to be sure that you are doing it for them and not just to make yourself feel better. Otherwise your plans may work to relieve you of that suffering but may never touch the needs of those people.
Have you noticed that when most people are hurt by something, their first reaction is anger?
There are many reasons as to why this happens but it essentially comes down to the fact that when our heart hurts, we feel confusion, vulnerability, fear, mortality, and helplessness. And we don't like it!
Ever since we were children, crying over something said or done to us, we were scolded to stop. Many of us, myself included, never learned how to actually experience challenging emotions without being overcome by them. Instead, we learn how to distance ourselves from those feelings, suppress them, and be indifferent. Men especially.
So the options are either to be overwhelmed by sadness, despair, heartache, etc, or to be indifferent. Not great, right?
Spiritual teachings are helpful but in order to make their wisdom your own direct experience, there are practices to help you. They aren't easy but they are immensely beneficial.
True spiritual freedom, which is a facet of enlightenment, never requires any limit to the human experience. In other words, there is room for heartbreak just as there is room for anger. To be free from heartbreak, you have to be willing to let your heart break open.
A book I endlessly recommend on this stuff is appropriately titled The Places That Scare You and it's by Pema Chodron. There are many things this book teaches but one fundamental life and spiritual skill I learned from it was how to stay with the feelings that make us squeamish.
Tonglen is a really good place to start.
[To summarize for anyone else reading this, tonglen is the practice of inhaling the pain and suffering of others and exhaling peace, freedom, happiness, and loving-kindness to them.
You can do it for something specific, like a friend who is heartbroken because their cat or dog died. Or you can do it for someone in general who you know is suffering; after all, everyone is suffering in one way or another.
You sit, meditate, then imagine your friend and visualize inhaling their suffering from them and exhaling all the good stuff into them. In the session, you end by broadening to breathe in the suffering of anyone who has lost a pet.
At first you practice this for people you love or like. Then you learn to practice it for strangers, people for whom you feel neutral. And lastly you do it for people who you hate, people who are enemies.]
This is just one example of a technique that evolves us into a broader vision of our hearts and minds beyond good people, neutral people, bad people. You can also practice tonglen for yourself. When you are feeling like something is unfair, that you are hurt or sad, you learn to stay with the unpleasant feelings, breathe them in like a sacred incense, and exhale spaciousness loving-kindness.
All of this is hard! It is so much easier said than done. The Places That Scare You is a very short book and yet it took me a very long time to read because it kept triggering shitty feelings and fears in me.
Additionally, everything is made harder by our own imprints, judgments, triggers, and embodied trauma that has accumulated throughout our life. Anything by Judith Blackstone will be helpful in digesting and freeing yourself from those shackles as well.
You don't have to stop being angry and heartbroken, you need to learn how to be angry and heartbroken without being distorted by them. You need to learn how to stay with the thoughts and feelings that make us squeamish. And you need to free yourself from your own traumas and shitty feelings. As you make progress, you will be more capable of helping others from a truly self-less place. In other words, you will be more insightful and attentive to their needs rather than your distorted perception of their situation.
