#torn pcl

[satansfavoritefirecrotch]

Bandages are off, and a shower was had. 😌

[determinedrehab-blog]

I’m so happy. It probably wasn’t the smartest choice, but I played tonight!

I was gonna try and get my knee good enough so I could play next weekend. All of a sudden I decided I HAD to do it tonight. So I did!

I somehow managed to play with a completely severed acl and pcl as well as a torn mcl and meniscus. I didn’t even use the most restrictive brace so that I could have more movement.

I was able to run, defend, go into tackles and come out with the ball, and take solid shots. Definitely not as good as I am healthy, but it felt amazing to play. To do SOMETHING! 

It really reencouraged me for the rest of my recovery and coming out on the otherside. 

[determinedrehab-blog]

Update

Hello friends I have returned!

The day I found out about my injury (Thursday) was tough for a couple hours but I recovered soon enough. I just needed some time to chill and process.

So here’s how its working.

The knee has four main ligaments. One on the outside of the leg, one on the inside of the leg, and two crossing in the middle. 

I tore the inside of the leg ligament (mcl) and the two crossing inside (acl/pcl). The mcl was a partial tear. The acl and pcl tore clean from my tibia. 

The mcl can and will heal on its own though it wont be as tight. As for the acl and pcl: if i dont get surgery, I will lose both of those ligaments.

While I am confident I can play with only two ligaments, I would be nervous to do anything else active where I am not as intune with myself. Besides that, if anything were to happen to me (ie another knee injury), the chances are higher that I would tear my other two ligaments. Not to mention long term ramifications that can follow me into old age.

After some serious thinking, the answer is pretty obvious. I need to get the surgery.

That will happen as soon as the swelling goes does. It means lots of pre-rehab, surgery, and a lot more rehab. I wont be able to work for about 4 months. I was supposed to move out Saturday but cannot now that I won’t have income.

It is a difficult time, but I will survive. I’ve filled my time with drawing, reading, playing piano, and writing.

I started writing a fiction book. I’ve always wanted to and now I have all the time in the world. I am excited about that. It’s about Helen from Greek Mythology from her point of view. I feel in all mythology, she is only her beauty and a scapegoat-- a reason for Troy and Sparta to go to a war they already wanted to fight. I wanted to find her side of the story.

So that’s all for now! Thank you everyone for your support and kind messages. It truly does mean so much<3

~Hailey

[determinedrehab-blog]

Update

I just got back from my dr appointment. It’s worse than I thought. I tore my mcl, acl, pcl, and damaged my meniscus. Basically, I tore 3/4 ligaments that stabalize my knee. Not good. Plus my cartilage which could lead to early arthritis. 

Not a good appointment. My doctor is highly recommending surgery. Without it, he doesn’t seem to think I can be an athlete. With it, he thinks that recreational soccer is the best that I can do.

I didn’t really care to go pro, but I liked having the option. I’m good enough. That looks like that’s out the window now.

It’s a rough time right now. I’m pretty upset. I am going to take a few days to pout and think over my options. Surgery or no surgery. I have no clue. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

I probably wont be active while I take some time to cry and be sad. So the next couple of days. Thanks everyone for your support. Have a good weekend.

~Hailey

[propertiesofamethyst]

First bike ride of the year!

My dad and I decided to explore a new section of trail that's been added, started at our house and met up with the trail, for a total of 15.2 miles round trip. Best part: I got minimal complaints from my knee and ankle! My knee in particular has still been bothering me recently, but with everything taped and braced, the ride went pretty alright. Hopefully I'll continue to heal at a decent pace so I can possibly bike to work this summer!

[propertiesofamethyst]

God fucking dammit I can't keep doing this. I smile my way through practice then break down as soon as I get home because I'm in so much pain. But I can't sit out, I can't stay off my leg - I need guard and the show needs me. Spinning used to be my release, but now I have to fight my own body just to get through a few hours of practice. Fuck, why did this have to happen now?? It's my last year and I want this so badly, but I'm so scared I'm not going to make it through the season and I don't know what to do. Fucking ugh. Injuries are the worst.