Discover Top Posts Tagged with #toxic entitlement

Sometimes, a person will try to control the narrative surrounding their presence in your life.

For example, if someone is doing wrong by you, i.e., they continue to violate boundaries that you have set, they refuse to respect your wishes, and they continuously go against everything you have asked of them, then they will try to get out ahead of your decision-making by asking you leading questions surrounding the relationship.

They will try their best to make themselves out to be the victim. They will tell you that you're only taking advantage of them and their kindness by not having any goals set for your connection with them. They will tell you that you are just wasting their time by not giving them any indication of where they stand in your life. They will make it seem as if you should be caving to whatever deadline that they have set for themselves because, for them, "time is ticking".

Every way that you try to grow and improve with them will become an argument or a battle. They will push back against all potential ways that the relationship could thrive, thus holding you back. You are more than justified in being cautious with how you proceed with them.

Not once will they pause to consider that you may be valid in not wanting to take things much further with them because of what you've observed. They will not take stock of their behavior and realize that it is very much a determining factor in how far the two of you go. No, leading them on is not what you intend to do. If you have to prepare yourself for loss, that's okay.

It's a difficult position to be in, but if you have communicated to them what you will and will not tolerate and have expressed to them why you prefer to operate a certain way in life and they can't get with the program but continue to try to get you to live beneath where you've grown to so that they can be accommodated, then they do not deserve to come along.

#toxic entitlement #entitlement #life #living #relationships #toxic relationships #toxic people #DARVO #reactive abuse #manipulation #emotional manipulation #disrespect #boundaries #boundary setting #boundary violation #blame-shifting #accountability

Ever since I started engaging with people involved in fandoms online, it's been a bizzaro world to me as countless people form these dedicated “nerd subcultures”, very few of which are decent, and they just can't move on after being disappointed with art or getting frustrated with whichever company they support for their entertainment.

And in the “tragic” wake of their deep disappointments, they actively choose to make “hate-engagement”, with the media which they don't like, a key part of their identity and worsen other people’s, and possibly their own, lives over fictional content ... of all the things. (The so-called “relatability” shtick a lot of people drum-up as being this must-have ingredient in the narrative, and its absence a failing on the author’s part, is a shining cornerstone of these dejected fools’ “fan persona”; many authors, male and female, have been harassed, bullied, and threatened off various social media sites precisely because these people didn’t find the content “relatable”.)

And over time, this behavior has become abnormally normalized (which has lead to added aggression from these subcultures that their “Fix-it Fan-Fiction” works ought to be considered literature, held in the same regard as they’re also “art”; and any denial of this ludicrous demand is met with a bullish and an ugly hostility from these people, who leave no stone unturned to attack classic literature and its lovers in droves; words like “pretentious”, “purple prose”, and “gatekeeping”, along with “authors that are too far up their own ass”, are their go-to weapons to attack people, as they know that they’ve got the backing of many like-minded cretins to authenticate their “vision”); there’s this ... antagonistic aggression, a mode of hateful rhetoric disguised as “criticism”, over very trivial things; and certain artists and companies seem to attract elevated and irrational levels of this hate and aggression. (Since I post for Naruto, Kishimoto is a good case in point.)

It’s a messed up combination of typical entitlement and a toxic fear of missing out, and these people, who engage with these media, feel emboldened that their narratives as they "ought to be" are being denied to them. They just can't seem to accept that that mangaka, triple A game company, or film director of today is not catering only to them; and whilst this isn’t a fault of any of the aforementioned creators, a part of this “Transformative Fandom Culture” can absolutely be attributed to the “nerd” hobbyist identity that was granted a free reign in the early 2000s.

We’re just living through the aftermath of that venture. Why aren’t there any laws in place to punish these vultures, who hide behind their computer-screens and spew bile unchecked in groups? When are we going to hold these people accountable and not shrug this off as “fandom things”? None of this is normal, ethical, and proper behavior; and it needs to be treated as such.

#kishimoto #nerd culture #toxic entitlement #fomo #transformative fandom #criticism