thistle's parents were likely no better and no worse than anyone else. they could have been wealthy or poor, married or not. maybe they only knew each other for a single night. thistle was told by his traffickers that he was abandoned - he internalized that deeply and believes it. and maybe he was abandoned or sold, or maybe he was kidnapped and they were lying to him so he’d give up hope.
his traffickers took him to the eastern continent, about a year or so passes between the ship journey and getting ‘settled in’, and then he’s sold to the troupe master who had connections with them. this is framed as an act of charity by the troupe master who tells thistle that the original group was going to throw him away so he should be grateful for this favor. controlling his reality so he’s easier to control
from the times before, he only remembers the feeling of being held in someone’s arms when he was very small, and he remembers yellow walls with a twirly design painted on the trim, and he remembers a specific bird call. there are also bad memories, but they’re all mixed up with the after so he’s not sure when they happened
he was probably from the southern central continent, which is not under the jurisdiction of the north elven kingdom, and had more open contact with other nations.
so we only know as much as thistle does, which is barely anything. keeping that ambiguity is important to me since his perception of the truth has more weight than what actually happened bc he will never know What Actually Happened
☆ [ bit more of a serious post today but i just need to get it off my chest, not anything online recently but more irl ]
I've made so many amazing friends so far being back in the rpc and it makes me happy to reach out and make new connections, I love being social but I always fear I'm gonna mess it up somehow, but that's not what I'm talking about.
As some of you may know from my little crashout post back when phoenix was suggesting very terrible things that Inuyasha and Roy should do, we were unfortunately trafficked most- if not all of our life til around 18 or so. We still sometimes have to eat with the guy at our dinner table so I fear something may be going on behind the scenes, but I can't really report something if I have no proof, so we try to just ignore it.
Our guardian and us have been getting in lots of horrible fights lately, we've been fighting our whole life due to us not cooperating or just simply "not being an a+ child" in school (she tried raising us asian, we're literally black/british) and so we've lost a lot of our sense of self, not just identity wise but emotionally, mentally, physically.. anything really. We've latched onto people and we still do, scared that they're gonna hurt us but we crave that deep emotional connection because of being stuck in an "all white school" where you've been ostracized and abused, basically BEGGING to be taken out of it and your guardian simply turns her head because "it's a blue ribbon school, you'll thank me later."
So, in an attempt to break that, it's led us to get attached to the wrong people, but also the right people. We love all of my friends now, especially after weeding out the horrible people in my life, and we've experienced some semblance of peace online (besides the ocassional), but again it's not what I'm talking about. Guardian and us have been fighting a lot, and we're slowly losing our sense of self again due to them, she keeps ostracizing our weight, screaming at us about how we're horrible, etc. Last night we had a huge fight because she believes we ruined her dinner because she left a bowl with her food in the sink, right under the faucet (it looked like there was water in there already so I thought it was okay) and ran a little to put some in my food. She had completely lost her lid and I think that's still not the worst she's been since this year, but's still affected us pretty badly.
She always tells us how we break things, how we're so clumsy that nobody would like us, how we're too loud and too independent AND dependent, how we're too passionate about the wrong things (shes an aibro with us going to marine biology), hell she screams at us until we submit to agreeing with whatever she has to say, despite saying we need to have our own "opinions". I won't say this is the peak of the abuse, considering how she used to abuse us when we were a minor, but I guess since we're an adult now she won't put her hands on us like before because we can fight back or call the cops.
I'm trying to work things out with a few friends and hopefully move out, but that won't be until the next year or so. After that, we're gonna try to focus on my husband and getting him his greencard here, so he can move in with us. Unfortunately where I'm moving, there will be a massive timejump so my responses can be untimed or such as, and if anyone really wants to keep in touch, I can always lend our discord and our tumblr messages are always gonna be open. This isn't gonna be an IMMEDIATE effect, since we'll be travelling to the uk soon, but I figured I'd put something now in case everyone notices we just suddenly drop off the face of the earth.
I actually need to say this in a separate post but I am absolutely concerned by how removed from humanity some people are. Like, beyond the calling other people NPCs or whatever, it seems like people will watch actual, real human tragedy unfold and will treat it like a tv show moment. Cheering on people fighting for their lives with fucking asinine shit like “Yas queen” or “Wow, she was so fierce when she acted in self defense against the man who KILLED HER FRIENDS and tried to kill her.”
This was absolutely on show for the most recent anti-LGBT murders at Club Q but I’ve also seen it for like... court cases where teenage girls killed their traffickers. Or cases like Lorena Bobbitt.
Where you’re treating this like a cathartic character moment in a book where like ~finally they got revenge, now they can move on. Instead of like a fucking traumatic moment that will linger with these people for the rest of their lives, even if maybe there was some satisfaction or freedom or whatever else gained in that moment.
Richard Fierro, the man who initially took down the Club Q shooter, has already spoken about the trauma and guilt for what he had to do--
“I don’t want to ever do this,” Fierro said of using his combat skills. “It lives in you. If you actually do this stuff, it’s in you … I’m not a GI Joe; I’m just a normal guy.”
Like... I know on some level, when you are seeing nonsensical, extreme violence, there is a relief in knowing that that there are people capable of fighting back. And maybe it finally feels like a ~win.
But you cannot forget the cost of it.
This isn’t like when you mash some buttons and defeat the final boss of a video game and then go leave to make yourself a snack.
This is longlasting trauma. These people need support and empathy (and likely lots of fucking privacy), not weird cheers you’d just as likely unleash on a RPDR contestant or your MurderWife From the TV Show.
new muse alert !! and this is what i got for him !! triggering content to follow ( i will try my best to tag accordingly ) .
name’s YINGYUN . . . that’s not his real name . he has no idea what his name is . he can’t remember it at all . just like his hazy and clouded mind , an overcast . . . dark clouds hanging above his head , obscuring things , he was given the name YINGYUN
his amnesia was INDUCED . . . unwillingly . dosed with a high potency black market drug called NEPENTHE ( the greek mythological drug of forgetfulness ) , yingyun’s mind had been wiped clean of any previous memories of his life . . .
> he’s also constantly dosed under the pretense of supplements and other medication
> constant dosing was to ensure that yingyun doesn’t recall things as he wasn’t permanently wiped ( any higher could cause brain damage despite the desired permanent amnesia )
yingyun is currently a favorite of a local crime lord ( will be discovered to be the reason why yingyun can’t remember anything and the one who is constantly dosing him )
> when yingyun WOKE from his coma , he was told that crime lord saved him and now he’s indebted to said crime lord
> rumored to be crime lord’s pretty piece . . . and bodyguard
> yingyun has no recollection as to WHY nor HOW he knows martial arts
more under the cut because this is LONG and i talk too much
yingyun doesn’t know why he’s missing a leg . . . he was told it’s because of the accident his boss ( ?? ) saved him from
> because yingyun remembers absolutely nothing and the only person that seemed to show an ounce of kindness is his supposed savior . . . he’s fiercely loyal and listens to orders with utmost obedience
> doesn’t question anything because he doesn’t know
> even if it goes against his instinct and morals ( does he even have any? ) , he’ll do it
> he’s a PUPPET , a DOLL . . . does what he’s told
> no one has a fully understanding of what yingyun’s role is . rumor has it that , aside from bodyguarding , he’s also serviced the boss and been lent out .
suffers from headaches and dizzy spells often due to the drug ; has flashbacks but before he can delve into it more , he’s dosed again
> doesn’t question why he’s being given medications ; told it’s for his own good .
> does also sometimes suffer bouts of nausea , vomiting , lack of appetite and heavy fatigue
following detail is not blatantly obvious , may require plotting , may come up as threads progress
YINGYUN was born TANG HUIAN , a skilled multi-martial arts competitor who’s known for his sportsmanship , friendly nature , and passion to improve
> thinks the best of people until he’s proven wrong , very protective of his friends and family
> a dedicated and disciplined practitioner of his sport
> versed in taekwondo , aikido , and a bit of judo
used to being in the spotlight , he attracted all sort of attention . . . unfortunately for him , he’s also attracted the bad kind
> he unknowingly had crossed the crime boss , becoming the new obsession of said boss because of his looks and skill
Huian had denied all advances and became victim to dirty play
> losing streak due to dirty tactics
> being stalked
> his family being threatened and injured
> cops turning a blind eye when asked for help
> ultimately forced to submit to the crime boss : his life for his friends and family
Huian had attempted to escape multiple times :
> his second to last attempt had resulted in the loss of his left leg ( originally caused a really bad limp that made running hard to do )
> his last attempt resulted in drug-induced amnesia and his leg amputated and replaced with a high tech prosthetic
Huian is currently a MISSING PERSON
> hair dyed , minor plastic surgery had been done to change how huian looked to avoid detection ( just enough that facial recognition wouldn’t recognize YINGYUN as HUIAN , but not completely destroying yingyun’s visage )
things about NEPENTHE ( the drug )
in small quantities , one can achieve a LOW from it ( thinking sleeping drugs ) ; meant as a sedative
originally a drug researched with means of controlling trauma and addiction ; banned due to large amount of side effects , potentiality of addiction and drug divergence
ended up in the black market as a drug meant to be used in human trafficking ( controlling products ) and sold recreationally
mostly found in injectable forms but recent development of tablets and oral liquids have been made
What's the worse they can do? If a Jesters can't fill others with laughter, they themselves will flop like a deflated balloon, you know?
"Well among the worst I can think of would be. . .well, obviously death is no good. But if a certain one were to actually find you amusing or. . .'valuable' would be a better word for what runs through his head, I assume you would prefer to keep your freedom rather than be sold off as a commodity.
"And then there's another one who would forcefully impregnate you--regardless of your anatomical capacity for such a thing--if he were to take a liking to you. . . .
“. . .so if you’d like to fill others with laughter, I think it would be best if you stuck to, well, more normal people for lack of better words. . . .”
Cut because of mentions of slavery, trafficking and potential assault.
So when Suvia was a slave, when she reached her teenage years, the slavers did try to sell her into prostitution. But every time someone was sent into Suvia’s room, they died. She effortlessly used the Force to instantly kill them with a Force crush without laying a hand on them. And there was absolutely no way to prove it was her, either: no marks, no signs of struggle, nothing. They just went into her room and died.
The overseers started referring to her as Death and they gave her some other work. Every now and then someone would try to force ‘Death’ to be a prostitute again, and the same would happen - lots of deaths. Anyone who tried to harass her also ended up mysteriously dead. Eventually one of them suspected she was using the Force and decided to send her to Korriban for that reason.
