I see people online talk about “AFAB only housing” but as a trans person who is currently at risk of homelessness right now who is trying to look for housing for me (transandrogynous intersex multigender/genderfluid) and my partner (nonbinary genderfluid/multigender transfem) in their college town, I haven’t seen any listings that specify “AFAB only” at all on any of the places I’ve looked.
But what I HAVE seen is many many listings that say “female only” or sometimes “male only” for places that would otherwise be affordable to us- EVEN for single bedroom apartments that don’t already have a roommate living there independent of you. Like, I cannot stress enough that I’m talking vacant single person/couple one bedroom apartments, that have a “female/male only” policy, which is just absurd and seems like blatant discrimination. I don’t really understand how or why this could be legal, but then again I don’t know how a lot of bullshit that happens is legal. It’s blatant gender/sex discrimination, and this type of shit is exactly why I’m so opposed to “single gender/sex spaces”- there’s no way for such a thing to exist without enforcing intersexism, exorsexism- especially multigenderphobia-, transmisogyny and anti-transmasculinity. And I really need more people to acknowledge that sexgender based housing discrimination is something that harms ALL types of trans and intersex people.
In case it isn’t obvious, “female/male only” housing is generally not going to be welcoming or safe to ANY kind of trans person- even if you’re stealth, that’s still a huge risk because the consequences could be bad if someone does find out that you’re trans. And there’s no way to be nonbinary/transandrogynous/etc and “stealth”, that’s just being in the closet and allowing yourself in a situation where you’ll be getting misgendered and possibly have to detransition to some extent or another, just because at least you won’t be homeless. Places like that will especially not be welcoming to a visibly gender nonconforming person who doesn’t pass as male or female, who “looks confusing” (like both me and my partner) and doesn’t clearly present as stereotypically male/masculine or female/feminine. The “female/male only” housing criteria is also very intersexist for a number of reasons, although I’m too mentally exhausted at this point to elaborate (but if anyone else who is intersex wants to elaborate, please feel free to in the notes).
Honestly, I’d go as far as to say I think “female/male” only housing is just flat out a transphobic dog whistle, and whether it’s intentional or not they’re signaling that they don’t want us transgender freaks in their spaces. I’m faced with the reality of having to pass up on what would have been otherwise great housing options for me because they insist on being “female/male only housing”- something that is not a viable or safe option for MOST trans people- at best, for a transfeminized or for a transmasculinized or for an intersex person or for an androgynized(?) trans person, “female only housing” would require being deeply stealth or in the closet if not detransitioning, especially in situations where there ARE roommates already living in the same shared space independent of you- ie having separate bedrooms rented out in the same house.
I just wish people would talk about how this shit affects ALL trans people.
The examples below are all from the Facebook group for subletting in the area around my partner’s college, which is in the southern USA. They’re all posts from within the past month, for context. The point of these screenshots is that I’m trying to show how normalized it is here (and a lot of places) for cis people to enforce the gender/sex binary in ways that have the potential to harm all or at least the vast majority of trans and intersex people (in this case- excluding trans and intersex people, people who are at high risk of houselessness and homelessness- from housing opportunities, purely on the basis that they aren’t cisgender and perisex.)
