theres no light way of putting i got torn in half by a warlord in any nicer words. thats what happend and its why im here. im not reincarnated, but watching that happen forced me into the system, our brain, cause it was so traumatic to watch. i cant even joke about it right now, i cant imagine the pain anymore because ive changed so much, and thank GOD for that. i dont need to remember that. sorry this looks awful i cant think clearly cause its really strong right now. this feels like the only place ill be understood. so mnay of us has seen ourselves die, sometimes multiple times over, isnt it just fucking awful?!!
its the worst fate, watching your real self die and youre stuck in an entirly different prison. god i wouldnt call this a prison, i love our headmates, i love them! but why im here to begin with is horrifying and makes me want to hurl. i cant beleive there are univeres where im dead. where i wont come back, what the fuck, why does everything keep killing me? keep me from being alive? gods maybe i was awful, maybe i did too much for the autobots, and this is my punishment. i wasnt pure or good enough, i did too much evil for the right cause and my soul is in hell.
its rare im ever this vunerable. but hes really feeling it right now so im letting him vent. its good for both of us honestly. thanks for everyone listening
-Jazz fictive (transformers 2007)
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