#transgender parent

[lgbtqiatext]

[badger-with-a-boa]

Wish I saw rep of lesbian enby mom & trans mom

Would love that in my life with planning for a baby & to be a enby mom with my fiancée soon

[tookishcombeferre]

you look at me like i hang the stars twirling, singing, and spinning in the basement giggling as you grab my hands, covered by gloves compressing my fingers that i've ripped up writing poems, penning essays, and drawing pictures, no cartilage left in my wrists to balance my hands as we play scales together on the piano. making magic, working spells, and i don't know how to explain you to anyone who has ever known me.

at seven, my father tells me if i treat my children the way i treat my siblings i should never have them. i will fail. my temper is too hot, and i am too volatile. i am too disney villain to raise a child, as i feed the crows in my grandfather's front yard, wondering what life might be like if i could fly under everyone's radar, and not stand out for all the wrong reasons.

at ten, when i cannot seem to learn the steps to the complicated dance of human conversation, and all the facts about arthur's legends, witchcraft and wizardry, and all the things i know pour out of me unbidden, my father tells me if i keep losing friends, and i cannot keep them, perhaps, i am the common denominator in the equation.

at seventeen, the very fragile heart strings i have are clipped. i build a wall of stone around the little i have left. signing away the rights to my goodness in blood, sweat beading on my face as i grip the steering wheel, tears pouring down my cheeks, as i hope this never befalls my siblings. though statistics say it will. i've botched another job, insured that their lives will be bungled, knotted up, inside my own, walls behind my back as i back away, mind replaying all the things i should have tried to say - driving home; knowing i will miss curfew. pulling in; knowing missing curfew is all that will matter to them. - no one ever believes me when i tell them my reasons.

for, i am maleficent - and my fairy wings have been clipped

at twenty, i stare at the edge of the water, longing for something i cannot name, words do not describe the pull death's desire has on my feet siren song singing in my ear, saccharine like strawberry starburst, and i ... do not do it. i dig out the earmuffs and stay my course. snow crunching beneath my feet.

at twenty five, i make a promise: to adventure with him, always paradise is the place where our two hearts beat in the same rhythm and time, goodness found and salvaged, like a little voice trapped in a shell, lanterns light the night where hope needs most be felt, soaring for a moment on the wind currents, stone cracking in the light of the moon - two stars together instead of one - je t'adore; je t'aime - "i do."

at twenty eight, i meet you for the first time. hold you in my arms and realize falling, is perfect. failing, is perfect. mistakes, missteps, and mistimed dances all of it perfect. there is no single thing i have done, that should you do it, i would hold you to the standard others held me to. my arms will be wide, wide wings, shelter enough for you to hide beneath.

you look at me like i am from outer space shouting at the television, teaching you to chant: "lore, lore, lore!" as though, you know what that means, unison voices rising in crescendo, we say it anyway. sipping coffee as i watch you play, telling your own stories, solving your own magical mysteries, (and, by existing in my life, solving my own.) i find myself wondering:

am i really as villainous as the world assumes i am?

i am autism: wicked, twisted, or whatever you'd like to call this musical: or poems about my children number ?? ~ p. s. shuller

[kalamity-jayne]

My wife and I putting our sweet lil child to bed...

Wife: Would you like me to sing a lullaby?

Kid: Yes!

Wife: How about All the pretty horses? or Rock-a-bye-baby?

Kid: NO!

Wife: Go to sleep lil' baby?

Kid: NO!

Me: Well, what song do you want?

Kid: The Monster Mash!

My wife and I:

[seahorse-dad-in-training]

Why would a trans guy want to be a gestational parent?

I want to kick off this blog by talking about one question so many people have... "But, why??".

Why would someone who's a man want to be pregnant and birth a child?

Why would someone who's desperately trying to be seen as a man do one of the biggest things associated with being a woman?

What about gender dysphoria?

Why not adopt or get a surrogate? Or what if your partner is a cis woman, shouldn't she carry instead?

There's multiple answers to all of these questions depending on the trans person you talk to. Some will say "I would never want to be pregnant, I couldn't do it", some would say "it's just easier than adoption" some would say "having a child come from your body is a beautiful thing" and so forth

For me, I've known for a long time I wanted a child. This child was not planned, but they're coming nonetheless. I've known that options like adoption or surrogacy isn't very accessible and probably wouldn't be possible for me, and frankly I want a child that looks like me. Having someone surrogate can be extremely expensive and the hormones they put you through to collect eggs can be stressful and difficult, and isn't worth it to everyone.

I understand I will experience, and have experienced gender dysphoria because of it. I get weird questions, I get confusion, I get misgendered as my appearance changes and my breasts get bigger, and it's only going to get worse as I start showing.

I've had people ask me "but isn't this against everything you believe in??" And I was confused. I've never said I was against birthing, I never said I didn't want to have a child, and I never said I wanted to rid of my current genitalia. I've had people ask me what the child will call me, if it'll confuse them, etc.

To me, it'll all be worth it in the end. I'll have a child I can raise my way, with a healthy family, and trauma and ND informed parents who will always love them and help them when needed.

It's hard, of course it's hard. It's hard enough for cis women and for us trans guys (and nonbinary people), it's extra hard.

Basically at the end of the day, we have the choice to do what we wish with our bodies. We aren't harming anyone by being pregnant, and we aren't harming anyone if we choose not to get pregnant.

Remember to keep invasive questions to yourself, and remember we deserve the same respect anyone else does. Respect us, and everyone will be a lot happier in the long run.

[transgenderpapa]

Sewing for my daughter

When Hotaru was born I was so poor I had to make most of her wardrobe myself. I had only basic sewing notions from watching my seamstress grandma at work and a yard of fabric was too expensive for my budget so I'd buy fleece scarves with cute prints and make her tiny pants and long sleeved shirts out of them to keep her warm because she was born in the dead of winter.

After that, I signed up for some free sewing lessons the government offered back then and learned to make more sophisticated clothes. By the time summer rolled around I was already making her cute sundresses and one-pieces. Later on, I've even sewn for a living and made good money while at it but I have never stopped sewing for her and I love being able to make beautiful, useful things for the most important person in my life. I hope she remembers this fondly once I'm gone. The warm pokemon pajamas, the elaborate Halloween princess costumes, the fashionable sundresses, the gothic dress she saw at the store that was too expensive...

This month? Two dresses and four nightgowns so far. My condition forces me to sew by hand so it takes longer than it used but it's such a pleasure sewing for her! She's always grateful for the treat and thrilled with whatever I come up with... and her confidence that these days I can successfully copy pretty much any design she sees in a store makes my day.

[megan-jules]

We just got back from visiting my daughter in Dallas. It was great to see her, it had been almost a year. Dallas is a great city. It's young and fast, and very energetic. This picture is of the hotel we stayed at, looking from the lobby up.

I had to have a hard talk with her. She is very open and supporting of me. But her mother, my wife, is not. And as I barrel head long into transition I am extremely aware that divorce is a real possibility. As we discussed my situation I had to tell her not to be angry with her mother, ever thought she doesn't support her mom's views on me. If and when this all explodes my wife will need her children. And even though they support me, she will feel like the wronged party. I have to be strong enough to take blame, even though I'm not wrong. I love her that much.

I look up and see a glass ceiling and question if I can break through. And I have to believe that the energy it takes to get from the ground to the ceiling will be enough to carry me though to the limitless skies that are just beyond.

[pumpkinsiren]

Bjs is only 10 minutes away. All the kids feel asleep in that time, now I sit in the car playing with the camera.