#autistic parent

[craftiebeaver]

Ah, fuck it. I’m here now so she can get down to some classic deep house while I eat my toast.

[peri-dot-j]

My parents are discussing the details of a K-pop Linked Universe AU together. They're having a great time. This is love.

[mxnox]

My 7year old asked me if I knew how much they loved me. I responded with what I know is the answer they want which is “all of it”. And they stared intensely at their sketchbook and said “yes, indeed all of it” in a flat voice and kind of quiet.

???

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

Fundraising Update!

Eep! So, Moo and I are officially going to MCM, and the photo with DT has been booked. Moo knows about it, and immediately started planning her outfit and pose.

Much to my surprise, she started thinking about cosplay, because "It's a ComicCon, mummy, you have to do cosplay." I was surprised because she's normally extremely fussy about what she wears, but thinking back to costumes she's worn in the past, this tracks. She's then adopted the costumes into everyday wear, so we may end up seeing her wear a suit for the next couple of years.

Which will be amazeballs.

Had the first autistic meltdown this morning, however, when she remembered how frightening she found London when she visited before (we live in a small, rural town in the West Midlands). Lots of lashing out and blaming me for things, but she calmed down pretty quickly, thankfully.

We'll get there. I wish she didn't have to struggle with these things so much, though. I wish she could just go and enjoy herself without being so worried and affected by all these things. That I was the ONLY one that was worried and affected by these things.

But thankfully there's breakout rooms we can go and regulate ourselves in, and we can go outside, too, if it's not raining.

Fundraising-wise, we're at 49%.

I'd massively appreciate it if anyone could please share my cause, or help give ideas of how I can further raise the money!

Any support helps, big or small.

Thank you so much to everyone who's helped - you're all absolutely amazing human beings.

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[tookishcombeferre]

you look at me like i hang the stars twirling, singing, and spinning in the basement giggling as you grab my hands, covered by gloves compressing my fingers that i've ripped up writing poems, penning essays, and drawing pictures, no cartilage left in my wrists to balance my hands as we play scales together on the piano. making magic, working spells, and i don't know how to explain you to anyone who has ever known me.

at seven, my father tells me if i treat my children the way i treat my siblings i should never have them. i will fail. my temper is too hot, and i am too volatile. i am too disney villain to raise a child, as i feed the crows in my grandfather's front yard, wondering what life might be like if i could fly under everyone's radar, and not stand out for all the wrong reasons.

at ten, when i cannot seem to learn the steps to the complicated dance of human conversation, and all the facts about arthur's legends, witchcraft and wizardry, and all the things i know pour out of me unbidden, my father tells me if i keep losing friends, and i cannot keep them, perhaps, i am the common denominator in the equation.

at seventeen, the very fragile heart strings i have are clipped. i build a wall of stone around the little i have left. signing away the rights to my goodness in blood, sweat beading on my face as i grip the steering wheel, tears pouring down my cheeks, as i hope this never befalls my siblings. though statistics say it will. i've botched another job, insured that their lives will be bungled, knotted up, inside my own, walls behind my back as i back away, mind replaying all the things i should have tried to say - driving home; knowing i will miss curfew. pulling in; knowing missing curfew is all that will matter to them. - no one ever believes me when i tell them my reasons.

for, i am maleficent - and my fairy wings have been clipped

at twenty, i stare at the edge of the water, longing for something i cannot name, words do not describe the pull death's desire has on my feet siren song singing in my ear, saccharine like strawberry starburst, and i ... do not do it. i dig out the earmuffs and stay my course. snow crunching beneath my feet.

at twenty five, i make a promise: to adventure with him, always paradise is the place where our two hearts beat in the same rhythm and time, goodness found and salvaged, like a little voice trapped in a shell, lanterns light the night where hope needs most be felt, soaring for a moment on the wind currents, stone cracking in the light of the moon - two stars together instead of one - je t'adore; je t'aime - "i do."

at twenty eight, i meet you for the first time. hold you in my arms and realize falling, is perfect. failing, is perfect. mistakes, missteps, and mistimed dances all of it perfect. there is no single thing i have done, that should you do it, i would hold you to the standard others held me to. my arms will be wide, wide wings, shelter enough for you to hide beneath.

you look at me like i am from outer space shouting at the television, teaching you to chant: "lore, lore, lore!" as though, you know what that means, unison voices rising in crescendo, we say it anyway. sipping coffee as i watch you play, telling your own stories, solving your own magical mysteries, (and, by existing in my life, solving my own.) i find myself wondering:

am i really as villainous as the world assumes i am?

i am autism: wicked, twisted, or whatever you'd like to call this musical: or poems about my children number ?? ~ p. s. shuller

[autisticlifelessons]

Tips from an autistic teacher about communicating with education professionals

So, some context: I taught Primary for 1 year, and had lots of interactions with parents with all kinds of concerns about their kids. I also remember being in high school and college/university and being too nervous to approach my teachers/tutors with any problems I had until the situation was dire.

For those who don't work in education, I can appreciate how needing to speak to your child's teacher about something can be intimidating, especially if your and/or your child are neurodivergent. And if you are a student, it can be equally as scary.

It's true many teachers are overworked and underpaid, but the vast VAST majority would move heaven and earth to help you. However, there are lots of things you can do to help them to help you, so here are my top tips.

Tell them ASAP if there is a problem - alerting the teacher to a problem or concern as soon as it arises gives them the chance to nip it in the bud before it becomes a big deal. If there is a bullying concern or something you don't understand, they would much rather you told them straight away so they can do something about it than have you or your child suffering in silence for weeks or months. We are generally an observant bunch and are looking out for issues, but some things do fly under the radar. Even if it's not something they can do anything about straight away - like if you think your child is showing signs of autism or adhd but they mask heavily at school - they can bear this in mind and pass it onto other relevant members of staff so it is 'flagged' up for the future.

If your issue is complicated, be sure to put it in writing - chances are you have access to a messaging service or at least an email address. Even if you have raised your concern with the teacher face to face, having it in writing is helpful for both parties. It provides a record that the issue has been raised and passed along as appropriate, and it helps remind the teacher about what has been discussed so they don't end up forgetting about it among the million other things they have to do.

Be specific - it may seem obvious, but there is no point in having a casual chat and then throwing in a bombshell at the end. Make sure to give as much relevant detail as you can about what your issue is, and if you want to raise multiple concerns then it is doubly beneficial to put them in writing.

Think about what your desired outcome is and come with a proposed solution - this is a psychological thing, apparently, but people are more likely to be sympathetic to your concerns if you can demonstrate you have thought about how you would like it resolved. If you want your child put forward for an autism assessment, make sure you actually say this. If you know you are going to be late handing in an assignment but can give your teacher an alternative date you will hand it in, tell them this. I can't guarantee they will always be able to fulfil it, but knowing what you would like to change or happen makes it much easier to sort things out rather than just guessing.

IF THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL THAT'S HAVING A NEGATIVE IMPACT, TELL THEM!!! - I CANNOT stress this enough, especially when it comes to little ones or neurodivergent children who may have limited means of both communication and emotional regulation. Being hungry, tired, stressed etc can have an enormous impact on behaviour/ability to learn. Even a simple message or email giving the heads up your child has had a poor night's sleep because the house flooded or whatever and might be a bit grumpy that day can be a huge help to the teacher, who as a result of having this information will be in a better position to be patient with a child who is struggling. For bigger life changes such as divorce, birth of a new sibling etc, this is even more important so that your child's teacher and the school can, if necessary, put measures in place to support your child through this transition. Communication really is key.

Remember to be kind and considerate - teachers are humans and make mistakes like everyone else. Equally, there are many circumstances they have to deal with that are totally out of their control and frustrate them just as much as they do you. As I said at the beginning, the vast majority want to help you and/or your child in any way they can, and being kind can make what is a very stressful job just that little bit less.

So, there you have it! I hope these tips gave you an idea for how to communicate with teachers effectively.

Oh, here's 1 more bonus tip - if you have anything to ask that is more than just a quick question, be sure to schedule a meeting with the teacher to ensure they can devote enough time to deal with your issue. Catching them at the beginning or end of the school day generally isn't a good idea as they're very chaotic times and they likely have other meetings/appointments/deadlines they will be thinking about.

Your support is much appreciated xx

[anonymouscanine]

My cousin called this week because she was stressing because her daughter was in the process of being assessed for ADHD and Autism and she wanted to process with someone who understood.

Spouse and I told her something along the lines of (paraphrased for flow):

You are a trained medical professional. Using that lens, look at your brother and sister, look at your parents, look at my brother, look at my parents. Look at all the relatives at the last family event. How many of us are probably ADHD or autistic and just never diagnosed?

Opened her mind, and also reminded her that, label or not, whatever struggles her daughter had, she was going to have family that understood what she was going through.

[my-funked-up-life]